AITA for ignoring a colleagues awful behaviour toward me and refusing to accept their personal life as an excuse
2024.11.25 01:50 Prestigious_Fly_4641 AITA for ignoring a colleagues awful behaviour toward me and refusing to accept their personal life as an excuse
I left my job (which I now have back) to chase my dream job, a different career that I was passionate about. The careecompany that I joined didn't pay me for any of my work (for nearly a year) After a dispute with this company, I asked my old job if I could come back and work for them.
They were happy to have me, and I walked straight back into the job I had before I left.
Before I left I was a liked and valued member of the team. I got on with everyone, management included and they understood why I left and wished me luck in my new position.
Upon re-application I was welcomed back with open arms, I walked straight back into my old position and everyone that was remaining on the team told me they were glad to have me back. I also had new staff members who said they had heard about me and all the positive things they had heard, they welcomed me back to the team again and said they were looking forward to getting to know me.
Old colleagues told me how much they had missed me and told me that they are sorry my dream job didn't work out. For additional context I also still volunteer my time at the company that didn't pay me, as I believe in the cause, but I have demanded I be payed as a volunteer in return for my hours. So although I am no longer full time for them I am at least paid for the work I do. #recoveringpeoplepleaser
However in the job I got back there was one member of staff whom I had only worked with for around two weeks before I left, who was now being extremely unpleasant since my return.
I decided that due to their unfortunate circumstances at home I would ignore the unpleasant behaviour, as I put it down to them being understandably upset with their home life. For context a member of their family was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I sympathised with them greatly, as did the rest of the team, but over the months I noticed I was being singled out by them, and no one else.
I never spoke a word to any employee or manager about their behaviour towards me and I quietly got on with the job.
This member of staff would ignore me, walk off whenever I was nearby, sometimes ignoring me for an entire shift. But I would notice they would happily chat with other staff, both in and out of work and I was being excluded.
I let this go and continued as usual. I'm an adult and realise I don't need to be friends with all of my colleagues but a peaceful work environment is ultimately more important.
However through other members of staff I learnt that this colleague was constantly complaining about me to staff and managers. Managers had also let me know there were complaints being made against me, management didn’t say who the complaints were from but I put two and two together.
Once again I let this go and continued as usual. Being as pleasant as possible but keeping conversation to a minimum. Over the next Couple of months things got progressively worse, until one day I couldn't take it anymore.
I sent an email to management expressing my concerns over their behaviour and requesting that we be kept apart as best as the job will allow, but given the nature of our job I'm happy to work with them when required.
I later found out that we were already being kept apart and I was given jobs that segregated me from other members of staff, effectively isolating me from other colleagues. I let management know that being kept apart is fine but I refuse to be kept from other members of the team to benefit one member of staff if that staff member was not also treated the same and I would not turn up to my shifts if this continued.
Management agreed with me but also said that this particular member of staff needed to be around people and not left alone for their mental heath. To which I agreed but regardless of their home situation my mental health should also be considered as we all have issues outside of work and that if the ability to do their job is affected by their home life then they should consider time off.
I realise this sounds a little heartless but I am also a career for an elderly family memeber (whom I live with) who is disabled to due illness, but I don’t allow this to affect my work or relations with co-workers. Given the fact I am also the only working member of the house whom not only volunteers but works 3 jobs and still finds time to follow my passion projects I understand that life isn’t easy and this is why I have given this staff member so much grace without coming to them personally to see what the issue is. I don’t want to make their personal or professional life any harder than it has to be by creating drama when it’s not required.
I later found out this staff member has also taken issues with some other new staff members due to various reasons and seems inflexible to working peacefully.
AITA for ignoring this colleagues behaviour and refusing to accept the frankly bad reasons management have given to excuse their behaviour, should I talk to the colleague directly or leave it to management to mediate the situation. What else can I do to try and accommodate, reason and understand without talking to them directly, I’m starting to reconsider my role here and am starting to consider quitting again and going on disability benefit myself. For additional context I have severe mobility and sight issues which i am under hospital care for which impact me greatly, I have depression, anxiety and stress disorders, I feel helpless and stuck in my personal life and professional career and although I have had counselling to tackle these issues I won’t lie I am considering alternative options to being alive.
I’m lonely, depressed and feel I’m not being supported but at the same time I’m trying to be nice and sympathetic.
Thank you for listening and taking the time to read what I have to say. I have tried to be as open as possible so people understand the situation for what it is but please don’t think that I am looking for sympathy, I would just like advice for how I can tackle this situation.
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