Am I the asshole for wanting my boyfriend and his best friend to stop hanging out without me?
2024.11.25 07:20 ColdCoffeeDrinker Am I the asshole for wanting my boyfriend and his best friend to stop hanging out without me?
I (F25) and my boyfriend, A, (M26) have been together for about a year. We've been doing medium distance (about an hour train ride between us) for the entire time. My boyfriend has this best friend (F26), let's call her Cara. They've been best friends since high school so 10+ years. They lived together for 3 years, and still see each other at least twice a week. Cara is invited every year for his parents christmas party, and when I attended last year, Cara still got an invite - and attended. His mother calls Cara the daugther she never had, A's brother's children call her auntie Cara. Often when I call A, I can hear Cara in the background. Now, Cara is a lesbian, and is always seeing someone new, in the time I've known her she has had 4 or 5 situationships.
I have always been a little bit uncomfortable with how close they are, and it got worse after I spent a week in a cabin with A, Cara and some of their other friends from high school. Cara and A would fall asleep together on the couch, with A sometimes lying in Cara's arms. Cara does it with all the friends, but A only "cuddles" with me or Cara. Cara is very touchy with all the friends in the group, constantly hugging them or touching their arms. I will admit, she did the same to me, until I told her it made me uncomfortable. It was also revealed to me on this trip, that A, had a crush on Cara when they were younger, that lasted about a year. Cara never reciprocated those feelings, but had decided to stay friends with A despite him having a crush on her. One evening I was alone with her in the kitchen, and I asked her about it and she just shook her head, saying that they were just kids and nothing ever happened, she was already out back then. She also said something kind of major, that A had never told me about himself. When I told Cara that I didn't know that, she looked surprised, and then said "I guess he's always had a hard time opening up to other people" - as if I'm not his girlfriend?
We got home from that trip about a month ago. Two days ago A and I had a fight about something completely different. I told him I needed some space, and so he went home. A few hours later I saw that he called me, but I was still mad so I didn't pick up. When I finally decided to call him back, who picked up? Cara, of course.
"A's phone, it's Cara" She said when she picked up. I told her I just wanted to talk to A, and she said that A was getting cigarettes but would be back in a few minutes probably. I told her to tell him to call me back, and she said she would. Before I hung up, she said, "A told me what happened, and between you and I, I think you're in the right". I just mumbled thank you and hung up. When A called me back 10 minutes later I couldn't hold it in anymore. First he's weirdly close with her and second, he told her about the fact that he and I were fighting? Maybe I'm overreacting but I think issues in a relationship should stay within the couple until it's settled.
I told him that I was still mad about the first thing, but more than anything, I had reached my limit with his closeness to Cara. I told him I was really uncomfortable with him spending all of his free time with her, how close they were physically and emotionally. That she knew all of these major things about him, and I had to hear about them from her instead of him. So I asked if he could stop hanging out with her when I wasn't there, or at least when the other friends weren't there. He told me I was being ridiculous, that Cara was like a sister to him and nothing ever happened and nothing would ever happen.
But I don't know, I just feel like he's waiting around for Cara to realise that she loves him back. He thinks I'm ridiculous and an asshole. Cara reached out to me, saying that she was really hurt about the situation, and really sorry for making me uncomfortable when all she ever wanted was for her and I to be friends (which she has never made an effort to do). My roommate backs me up that their friendship seems super weird, and says I should stand my ground on this.
But idk, am I the asshole?
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2024.11.25 07:20 Fancy-Pair Does anyone have an estimate on how many watts your 12v fridge uses an hour or draws over 24 hours?
I’m thinking of getting one and seeing / estimating just under 1kw in 24 hours off a power station but I thought I’d check what others have seen. I just need the fridge part not the freezer
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2024.11.25 07:20 sodacausticax Dubbio importante
Ho 24 anni e sto per concludere la laurea magistrale in Informatica, con specializzazione in Intelligenza Artificiale. Mi manca circa un anno alla fine degli studi e attualmente lavoro part-time con un contratto da tirocinante retribuito in un settore direttamente collegato al mio percorso accademico. Questa esperienza mi sta permettendo di acquisire conoscenze pratiche che, a causa del poco tempo e dell’approccio fortemente teorico dell’università (che ritengo comunque fondamentale), non riesco ad approfondire adeguatamente durante gli studi.
Recentemente ho ricevuto l’opportunità di sostenere un colloquio presso Pincopallo per una posizione come Software Engineer in sistemi embedded. Accettare questa offerta, qualora dovessi superare il colloquio, significherebbe cambiare città, rallentare sensibilmente (o abbandonare del tutto) il mio percorso universitario, e allontanarmi dal campo dell’Intelligenza Artificiale.
Nonostante queste implicazioni, sono molto tentato dall’opportunità. L’azienda è rinomata, l’esperienza sarebbe di alto livello e rappresenterebbe un punto importante nel mio CV. Tuttavia, temo di rimanere "bloccato" nel settore dei sistemi embedded, perdendo terreno rispetto a chi continua a crescere nel campo dell’AI e faticando a rientrare in questo ambito in futuro.
Mi piacerebbe capire quanto possa effettivamente pesare un’esperienza del genere su un CV, considerando che non è direttamente collegata al campo dell’AI. Vorrei anche avere un’idea di come funziona la crescita professionale in questa azienda, se ci sono opportunità per acquisire competenze trasversali e se sarebbe possibile, in un secondo momento, rientrare in settori più vicini alla mia specializzazione.
Nel mio scenario ideale, vorrei vivere questa esperienza per poi riuscire a tornare nel campo dell’AI. Mi piacerebbe ricevere consigli da chi lavora già nell’ambito dell’AI o feedback su Leonardo per aiutarmi a valutare meglio questa opportunità.
Sono comunque nuovo nel mondo del lavoro, il mio CV è praticamente spoglio di esperienze lavorative (a parte quella che sto facendo proprio ora) e non ho davvero idea di come funzioni questo mondo.
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2024.11.25 07:20 Necromanser1487 Babageyin chatine bok attıktan sonra eren aktan
 | (Mizah amaçlıdır) submitted by Necromanser1487 to wiredpeople [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 07:20 OrdinaryIdea Book of Azrael
I just wasted much of my precious time with this series. I am DNFing the second book at 40%. The reason I am so angry is because the author had SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Samkiel is an amazing MMC. Dianna is an amazing FMC. But you cannot patch a sinking ship with paper towels. The writing and plot are lacking so much. You're telling me I am going to read 600 pages of the same exact conversation happening in the same setting just different locations? With horrible word building so I don't even know where I am? Y'all, I am going to be in a slight slump after this. Remind me to do more research next time.
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2024.11.25 07:20 ExoticEzerex 20/PC/NA Friends or BFFS?
Hey all!
Just wanted to post this to make friends here that play games just like I do. Most of my friends have drifted away due to jobs and stuff. Gaming has always been a passion for me. I usually play ANY game, I MEANNNN ANYYYY. The current game I am playing is Black Ops 6 due to the lack of friends I have now.
I am always looking for recommendations on any type of games that you wanna play. Just need a long term friend to contact and play anytime :))
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2024.11.25 07:20 red_starshooter Selling Stymelisk!
 | Selling it for 1.5m if coins. If trade, show your offers and I'll consider. (But I prefer coins.) submitted by red_starshooter to DragonAdventures [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 07:20 balik_bayan__ What is a sign that you’re going to end up alone in life?
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2024.11.25 07:20 FishingExpress7090 Mcfc having breakdown more than yanks on reddit
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2024.11.25 07:20 Mrt8man Solar powered Poutine warmer
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2024.11.25 07:20 NW_Forester How would you upgrade my 5.1.4 with a $2k budget?
Looking to upgrade my system as a Christmas present to myself, have a $2k budget.
Seating is 12-14' from screen.
TV - LG 65" OLED C2 model.
AVR Receiver - Marantz SR8015
Center channel - Boston Acoustics VR12
Towers - Boston Acoustics VR975
Rear - Definitive Technology SR9080 bipolar speaker on some quality stands
Upper channels - Definitive Technology ProMonitor 1000 - These are huge for my space but got a great price
Subwoofer - Velodyne VA1250X.
So my 3.1 system was all late 90s early 2000s. It was decent gear for the time, when I go to demo gear I can hear a difference, but is that power source, music source, or the speaker itself?
I think my sub needs replacing most. I am looking at RSL Speedwoofer 12s and Rhythmic Audio F12-400, leaning towards the Rhythmic Audio.
With a remaining $1000 or so, I'm sure I could get a great center channel, does $1000 get me an upgrade on towers? Or book shelf speakers on stands are good. I've considered amps, but not sure $1000 gets me an upgrade.
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2024.11.25 07:20 Sure-Time3016 They took my money?
I deposited money to my wallet to pay for a few items but the money isn’t there? This was over 12h ago now. And btw it took the money from my bank account
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2024.11.25 07:20 BlaqKnightFlash Chi Chi come here
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2024.11.25 07:20 brogrin Stuck on a gift for husband--need advice!
Hey! growinwithweeds let's ask 👉 Gift Ideas ❤️ GPT
$90Here’s my take on your dilemma, along with some links to help you decide:
I'm thinking of gifting my husband a controlleheadset stand, but am stuck on which one to get.
a) Custom RBG LED stand with his gamertag, only fits one controller + headset
b) Stand that fits two controllers + headset, but is not customized and is just plain black.
Please let me know which one you personally would prefer, and why. Full disclosure: the cost breakdown is about $90 vs $50 (prices are including shipping to Canada). I was leaning towards the custom one, because I feel it's more special, but now I'm torn because the other one seems more sensible storage wise (and definitely more budget friendly). I know my husband will appreciate either one, and he won't know how much I paid. If he were given the choice he would just choose whichever one costs less lol
Custom RGB LED Stand with His Gamertag Why it’s a great choice:
- Personalized Touch: The custom gamertag makes it unique and thoughtful, showing you went the extra mile to tailor it specifically for him.
- Aesthetic Appeal: The RGB lighting adds a cool, gamer-friendly vibe that will stand out on his setup.
- Memorable Gift: It’s not just practical; it’s a display piece that he’ll treasure.
- Limited Functionality: Only fits one controller and headset, which may be less practical if he uses multiple controllers.
- Higher Cost: At $90, it’s more expensive for less storage.
- Customizable LED Controller Stand: https://www.etsy.com/search?q=custom%20rgb%20controller%20stand
- Practical Storage: Can accommodate two controllers and a headset, ideal if he has a multi-controller setup.
- Budget-Friendly: At $50, it’s more affordable, leaving you extra room for another small add-on gift.
- Minimalist Look: While plain, it might match his existing setup better if he prefers understated designs.
- Less Unique: Without personalization, it may feel less special compared to the custom one.
- No Lighting: It doesn’t have the same wow factor as the RGB stand.
- Dual Controller Stand: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=dual+controller+stand&tag=gifts-favspro-20
- His Preferences:
- If he loves a flashy setup and appreciates personalized touches, go for the custom RGB LED stand.
- If he values functionality and simplicity, the dual controller stand is a better fit.
- Your Budget:
- If the $90 feels like a stretch, you can get the $50 stand and complement it with an add-on, like a gaming-themed mug or a snack tray for his sessions.
- Future Use:
- Does he currently use one controller or more? If he might get a second controller later, the dual stand offers more long-term utility.
However, if practicality is key, the dual stand is the better choice, especially since it leaves room for other small surprises!
Would you like help finding additional items to complement either stand? 😊
submitted by brogrin to GiftIdeas_ai [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 07:20 Pinkkirby16 Some cute animal friends I've made!
 | Hi everyone! I've been needle felting for about 2 years now and it's been a great experience getting better and better at the craft over time! I am thinking of trying my hand at wet felting next 😀 My Instagram is @strawberry_works if you're interested in seeing more of my work! https://www.instagram.com/strawberry_works/profilecard/?igsh=MXVnaGRoNWwxZnVpbA== submitted by Pinkkirby16 to Needlefelting [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 07:20 thisbarbiesays AITAH for wanting to get to know my new friend’s opinions on feminism?
I (22, F), and two of my classmates-turned-friends (just because we sit together in class) let’s call them Sarah (22, F) and Cathy (21,F). Cathy and I met first and were acquainted because we sat together on the first day of our Master’s in Psychology program. Sarah joined us later because she didn’t really like the people she initially sat with. We share a three-people bench and Cathy always sits in the middle and has the idea that she and I are “closer” than with Sarah just because we met first. Sarah and I like having conversations about shared interests and beliefs and even having constructive arguments with. But Cathy is not particularly fond of this and doesn’t bother participating in these conversations even when we ask. This whole thing sounds so high school, I’m aware. So one day, I show Sarah and Cathy a meme about men’s day and Sarah laughed, while Cathy ignored it. Sarah and I continued the conversation further and kept joking about how men call out feminists on men’s day when they are fully capable of celebrating it by themselves if they want to for like 2 minutes. Cathy interrupted our conversation to say “Ugh. Feminists. Just leave the men alone.” Sarah and I being vocal feminists were in complete shock and sat in silence. We weren’t expecting a friend to come out and say something so offensive. After an hour of complete silence, Cathy asked if there was something wrong with what she said and both of us told her how we felt about it all. Cathy justified her comment as a “joke” and told us to roll with it. When we didn’t feel convinced, she apologised and said she can’t take a stand on feminism because “she’s also a girl”. So we told her that is wasn’t about apologies but rather about us thinking about the kind of friendships we choose. Sarah got pissed and left. I was stuck having to deal with a crying Cathy. I told her to let it go and asked her very politely just because I want to get to know her better; about what she thought about feminism and where she stands on the whole thing. And Cathy straight out said, you don’t have to get to know me better. Now somehow, Cathy and Sarah are talking and I’m sitting silently in class. AITA?
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2024.11.25 07:20 Cryptofans90 Right hand dominant 26f wants to know about my love life,relationships, career , professional growth, health and wellness, spiritual journey, strengths and weaknesses or anything that my palm lines could decipher. please do my palmistry. Thanks in advance.
 | submitted by Cryptofans90 to palmistry [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 07:20 Soft_Device4380 anyone tried this home cleaning service before?
Hi everyone, i am new here and seldom use reddit. I didn't know where else to ask this question so i'll ask here (hopefully its not the wrong platform to ask):
Recently my friend shared with me a staff perk promo code for nimbus homes (www.nimbushomes.com) that he got from his acquaintance working there. apparently can just claim to be a friend of the staff and can use his promo code to get 70% off their home cleaning service for first timers.
has anyone tried their service before? i tried a few other companies before but they were all very unprofessional. any info helps, thanks!
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2024.11.25 07:20 xOmar005 Mi novia se hizo un tatuaje y estoy pensando en terminar la relación
Mi novia y yo tenemos 7 años de relación. Hace unos dias se hizo un tatuaje en el pecho y me lo dijo de la nada. La verdad me incomodo y se lo comunique y muy a mi pesar me dijo que mi opinión ni le iba ni le venía y dije ok. Trataré de ahorrarme mis comentarios y trataré de aceptarlo. Hoy la acompañe a hacerse otro en la misma zona y no me gusta como se mira. Yo la conocí sin nada de eso y la verdad me siento mal por sentirme así, porque sé que no es mi decisión ni me debo de meter, pero estoy pensando en dejarla... No sé si con el tiempo lo voy a aceptar l si solo se van a empeorar estos sentirmientos... Que hago?
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2024.11.25 07:20 wankerzoo Israel responds to ICC ruling with bombings in Lebanon, mass expulsions in Gaza | Israel has responded to last week’s arrest warrants by the Int'l Criminal Court against Prime Minister Netanyahu and former Defense Minister Yoav Gallant by intensifying its rampage throughout the Middle East.
 | submitted by wankerzoo to EndlessWar [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 07:20 Jillybeanz_b_cray Request to lighten the foreground
 | $5 tip to brighten up my nephew a bit! Thank you 😊 submitted by Jillybeanz_b_cray to PhotoshopRequest [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 07:20 Suspicious_Loss5964 The fact that I can't have a baby right now is making me depressed. How do I cope with this?
Im 16F and for a while now I have wanted so badly to become a mother. I know its fairly normal to get baby fever especially in your teens/20s but it is genuinely eating me up. I have dogs and cats, but I know its just not the same, hence why having pets isn't really helping. How do I fully get it into my brain that I can't have a child yet?! I don't even have a boyfriend.... idk why I want this so badly lol
submitted by Suspicious_Loss5964 to AskParents [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 07:20 AonumaShun Friend fell off the bike and got facial injuries. Can someone recommend a good hospital please?
The accident was a week ago and the wounds were treated, but a doctor quoted 5 million for scar removal. Is that a reasonable price?
Can anyone recommend a good hospital for that kind of treatment?
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2024.11.25 07:20 Prof_SleepyHead M32
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2024.11.25 07:20 dr_buttnugget quick little space dude
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