November 27th, 2024
2024.11.27 08:50 thelovegoododdity November 27th, 2024
I just realized that I never finished the entry for last week. I went to the ED to get checked out and ultimately it seems that I'm negative for everything, thankfully. The employee health doc did mention that my hemoglobin was low and to discuss it with my PCP. That wasn't a shock, as I frequently deal with cold extremities and some dyspnea with exertion. But still, I should really make an appointment.
I think that I do want to start doing video entries for this... Whatever it is. Tracker, blog, diary... Whatever. It may help me to talk things over, even if it's just to myself. May also help with my wordfinding issues, which have been pretty bad as of late. I'll probably post them privately.
I'm also going to try and stop self-medicating as heavily as I am - I've felt slightly 'off' in the last few weeks and it may be due to too much floating around in my system. I hate how 'juggernaut'-y my brain appears to be, as it necessitates higher amounts of so many things for their effects to be noticeable. (Dentists, for example, literally have to use triple the normal amount of lidocaine/whatever numbing agent they use to work on my teeth.) I am also reading that a lot of the intense anxiety I'm having may be an unintended effect; in an attempt to maintain homeostasis the brain will upregulate nervous system activity as drugs tamp it down, resulting in needlessly accelerated activity when I'm not under the influence. Makes sense. Less eddies, more steady.
It'll also be necessary to engage some of the coping mechanisms I used prior to being medicated for ADHD - caffeine and other stimulants are not great for the development of a kid. (Not to mention, the latter may not be as available anymore - it's already difficult to obtain sometimes). I was making things happen before, albeit slowly. I can still do that, and have the wonderful Tony to help with things I'm not getting to.
I'm considering the idea of getting a 'dumb' phone - a simple one with no apps on it so that I can't really spend all of my time scrolling. I'll try to read more, one of my original escape hatches as a kid. Engaging in creative endeavors also makes me happier sometimes - playing music, engaging in arts and crafts. (Just like Mom, who the family would joke was the Black version of Martha Stewart. I never realized how much like her I am. My Mom, not Martha Stewart.) Exercise is an obvious way to release stress from the body that I haven't made enough use of. Even if it's just taking a walk every day. Meditation, and maybe even prayer, are soothing sometimes. I'm still much more agnostic/atheist than anything - no part of me can believe that someone/something that loves us watches the insane amount of suffering and injustice that exists in this world, every minute of every day, and doesn't feel the need to intervene. But maybe I'm wrong, or maybe THEY (religious leaders) are wrong, and there is something out there listening, just not what they describe, or whose intentions they could even understand.
I've started the work of fixing my gut biome, as that can also contribute to the severity of the anxiety I've been having. I admittedly haven't treated my stomach well - my eating habits are unsurprisingly abysmal and my body isn't tolerating it anymore. I commented to Anthony the other night that I felt better when I was over 300 pounds about a decade ago, which was a terrible thing to realize. I've done a number on myself, most likely because I don't believe I deserve better. At this rate I'll be disabled by the time I'm 50.
I've been eating a spoonful of sauerkraut on an empty stomach a couple of times a day, drinking kombucha, and taking pre/probiotics. I'm hoping to notice a difference in a couple of weeks. I may add other things in and see how I feel. Serotonin is generated in the gut and I haven't given it good soil to grow in, as it were.
Tend your garden, girl.
Tonight I'm at work and VERY sleepy, despite sleeping all night and AM - either paradoxical tiredness from oversleeping, or side effect of the antipsychotic med I took to try and subdue a panic attack that threatened to appear. It... Kind of worked. Not as well as the first time, when I felt like I'd finally reached a clearing in a storm.
Tony is in Boston. I miss him every time he's away, pining and worrying about his travels and his well-being. I truly hate our opposite schedules and his long commute. All of it eats away at our time together. We've been talking about starting some kind of channel together, perhaps reviewing movies or other videos. I like the idea of reviewing terribad movies while inebriated, as it could be really funny. That being said, I still have footage from my Costa Rica trip that I never edited or uploaded - I have to be realistic about how much work and time it'll take, and whether we can commit to being consistent for a while, because that's the only way to increase viewership and potentially be successful. (There is the option of paying an editor, if I'm truly continuing to drop the ball.) As a random aside, I have a kind of bitter nostalgia now when 80s/90s movies come on; their hope and optimism make me resentful now, and I hate it.
I randomly thought of a 'Val Learns to Live' series in which I record my journey to 'normal.' That could mean anything, as long as I'm being more present and active in my life instead of passively watching time glide by. We'll see how things go. It could be learning to cook elaborate recipes, traveling, studying, anything enriching.
I need to get the fuck out of the house when I'm not working. It's becoming a tomb.
submitted by thelovegoododdity to OneThousandDays [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Able_Confection2600 SELLING DENTAL SOFTWARES
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Telegram Ruuinz
submitted by Able_Confection2600 to ExoCAD [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Supplice401 STOP SPAWNING ALONE!
STOP SPAWNING ALONE! I'M TIRED OF SEEING YOU FEED THE ENEMY! My teammates on support suits spawns alone, on Space Port its a fucking cluster fuck. I was in a game, right, and ALL my teammates are just SPAWNING LIKE AN ASSEMBLY LINE. I showed my "Let's Sortie Together" to my team, and the "Let's Sortie Together" they flipped it and they said "Hey Barzam Custom, when the EXAM SYSTEM STANDBY! HAHA! DUN, DUN-DUN DING DING, DUN-DUN DING DING!" I fucking looked at a LV3 BD3 and I said "That's gonna spawn alone and feed!" I looked at my Triple Beam Rifle, I thought of the Engage Booster and I go "Engage Booster? MORE LIKE ENGAGE POOPER!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
submitted by Supplice401 to GBO2 [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Rude-Consideration64 Somebody beat me in the Reverb auction, and now they're making sweet love to this hot Tokai guitar.
submitted by Rude-Consideration64 to guitarcirclejerk [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 PervisEllis Do Kwan and Tony have makeup sex tonight?
Since this is the gay dating show I dadass think this fight between Kwan and Tony will lead into passionate gay sex later tonight.
submitted by PervisEllis to fishtanklive [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 CodenameSailorEarth Has anyone ever dealt with a bad vaccine reaction?
BEFORE YOU COMMENT:
I'm pro vax. Don't lecture me.
When I was a kid, every single time I got any vaccine, especially if it was live virus instead of synthetic, I would have to be sent to the ER. Had full anaphylaxis, blacked out, last two shots at 12 were Hep B and Flu and I was in and out of a coma for a month. Lips turned blue my folks said.
My mom, brother and grandmother also have had horrible reactions to vaccines, and nobody will tell me what this is or how I turn it off so I can go back to getting my shots. It's embarrassing, it's scary and I am getting absolutely no help.
Now as for my husband, he only had one bad reaction once and the rest he's been Golden.
Our newborn had his first Heb B shot after I had him, and THANK GOD no bad reactions, but today his pediatrician gave me a warning that if anything seems off or he starts taking after me at his 2M shots next month to take him to the ER. NGL it kinda spooked me. His next vaccine she said will be an oral and a triple shot, so that's why she told me to be alert even though his first shot went fine.
Again, I'm absolutely pro Vax, so no Ted talks are needed here, but has anyone ever dealt with what I did growing up? Is there a name for it? Is there a way to turn this off? Did your kiddos have any bad reactions to vaccines? If so, how did you and the doctors treat it? I just want to feel less alone on this.
submitted by CodenameSailorEarth to NewParents [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 ShandrensCorner Seeking help with finding the right difficulty mod (HARD)
Heya folks.
TLDR: I need suggestions on what mods to use and how to best setup a VERY HARD game of BG3.
So, a bit of background. I have sunk a lot of hours into BG3, mostly focusing on challenges (like doing the full tutorial bossfight with only Tav and Laezel). Its been a while since I have had the urge to play, but it is beginning to reappear.
My last run I did was a "can't take damage, 1 rest per act, solo, Honor Mode run" (stopped/paused after completing act 1), and though i liked the challenge it could get a bit samey due to only using one character, and some pretty restrictive rules.
So for my next game I would really like to use a full party of 4. Problem is that that would make the core game WAY to easy. Rather than making all sorts of stipulations I would like to know if there is a good mod (or a combination of mods more likely) that could help me set up a very hard game by tweaking enemies somehow.
I have looked around and some of the often suggested mods (death march, tactician+, etc) seem promising. But some seem to be discontinued or unfinished, while other seem to mostly tweak the pure numerical stuff like HP/AC etc. I am pretty certain HP would need some tweaking, but I would much prefer a more all-encompassing difficulty upgrade (extra abilities, maybe more mobs, some resistances here and there, etc). Combat extender looks like it could be a place to start, but in that case I would still love suggestions on how to set it up.
I am hoping to be able to play with the honor mode ruleset (No damage rider shenanigans!!, bosses have legendary actions, etc) but without the single save restriction. I am hoping for this to be hard enough that fights could require multiple takes to succeed.
So please don't hold back.
I know its a big ask, but hopefully there's a champ or two out there with some amazing suggestions.
Regardles, thanks for any input!
submitted by ShandrensCorner to BaldursGate3 [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Jazzlike-Race9181 Bin so geil auf eure Mütter Dm oder kik kay6464
submitted by Jazzlike-Race9181 to Snapchatgerman [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Future_Extension5227 In der Version 1,80 Probleme beim einlösen der Karten
submitted by Future_Extension5227 to RoadsideEmpire [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 reddit_lss_18 Android mod test 27/11/2024 08:49:25
submitted by reddit_lss_18 to LssAutomation [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 kmskrishna SSRF To Internal Data Access Via PDF Print Feature
 | submitted by kmskrishna to InfoSecWriteups [link] [comments] |
2024.11.27 08:50 NoIntendedHarassment I need a art pfp 😭
submitted by NoIntendedHarassment to teenagers [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Decent-Fly-5529 Could someone explain to me the meaning of "grow with you"? or it's the same meaning of "grow on with you"
 | https://preview.redd.it/0ri1rwleqe3e1.png?width=355&format=png&auto=webp&s=5d340ae4738c0e2624ff538df4a9b9a573a834e2 submitted by Decent-Fly-5529 to EnglishLearning [link] [comments] |
2024.11.27 08:50 Crimson_Heitfire Behold. The WW1 division
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2024.11.27 08:50 glowingbenediction At my wit’s end… Friend is on the cusp of co-signing for a loany
My friend (38f) lent someone money, and $13,000 of the debt remains. Some has been paid off (garnering trust). Borrower (40’sF) is now having “difficulties” paying off the remainder of the loan.
Now the borrower has asked for her to co-sign for a loan of $20,000. The borrower says that right there, at the bank, as the borrower receives the loan money, she will give my friend a lump sum of $10,000 from the loan money. This will pay off most of the original debt between them. Then, the borrower will use the remaining $10,000 to start a small business so she can make money and then pay back the $20,000 bank loan.
My friend can’t see how she is on the hook for that $20,000. I tried to explain how the borrower isn’t going to pay back any of the loan, leaving her on the hook for the $20,000. All she can see is that she’s going to get $10,000 back, and she can’t understand that she is ultimately being repaid with HER OWN MONEY. She can’t see the basic logic or math that she is ultimately going to be out $20,000 total (plus bank loan interest) for this, in part bec she’s going to have that $10,000 in her hand. She thinks at most, if things go wrong and she’s left with the debt, she’d only be out $10,000 bec she would have been given that $10,000 for the original debt.
Can someone help me explain it to her in very basic language? Maybe a cartoon? (I’m not kidding). I just can’t seem to get through to her.
submitted by glowingbenediction to Scams [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 kmskrishna The Discovery Story: How YouTube’s Logout Parameter Led to a Security Gap
 | submitted by kmskrishna to InfoSecWriteups [link] [comments] |
2024.11.27 08:50 Lsluger Bunker silo glitch?
 | https://preview.redd.it/vzgg7j5lqe3e1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d711318595674dad082d81ebac61a35e0ea9542 Trying to unload grass at my bunker silo but it wont let me. been doing this for several rotations already and its the first time it wont let me. tried selling and replacing the bunker silo but no luck there. i even painted over the surface to get rid of any silage that was still there. Anyone experienced this as well? How do i fix this? I need to feed my cows! submitted by Lsluger to farmingsimulator [link] [comments] |
2024.11.27 08:50 throwaway-1207 Is this fair?
For context, one of my classes has this redo/extension token thing, and we have a total of 9 tokens. Just now, the professor changed it to be only so that you can use tokens if you haven’t already used 2 tokens. I was just wondering is this fair? To do this when the semester is almost over? What about people that haven’t used any of their tokens and were planning to use them now.
submitted by throwaway-1207 to UCalgary [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 AstroBurd Wirtual at parties
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2024.11.27 08:50 kmskrishna Unleashing the Potential of Flipper Zero: A Deep Dive into Cyber Gadgets
 | submitted by kmskrishna to InfoSecWriteups [link] [comments] |
2024.11.27 08:50 Yftian Looking for position: Mom
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2024.11.27 08:50 Jarias11 Cant decide on water cooler for i9 10900k
I currently have a 10900k and have had a DEEPCOOL Assassin III Air CPU cooler on it but I'm still seeing temps above 95 while playing cpu intense games like The Finals. I was thinking about going water cooling now and so far found Arctic Liquid Freezer III 360 as a potential option. I do want to overclock cpu a bit to keep up with 4090 super I just got and also want a an aio that could still work with my next cpu upgrade prolly next generation. Thanks in advance for any help or other recommendations. Hoepfully nothing over like 150$ as well
submitted by Jarias11 to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Mammoth-Dealer-2640 edsa people power in 2024
 | sa tingin nyo guys, how long would these people last sa edsa? hahha at sa tingin nyo possible pa ba maulit ang tunay na people power in the future? and if so, sino una mapalatalsik, si president ba o si vp? nakakapagod na manood ng balita tungkol sa alitan ng marcoses and dutertes. all i crave for is a peaceful government, and sadly, people said otherwise nung 2022 photo credits: abs-cbn news submitted by Mammoth-Dealer-2640 to Philippines [link] [comments] |
2024.11.27 08:50 eigo-bunpou 「英単語解説」management-studiesの意味について
「英単語解説」management-studiesの意味について
教育management studiesは、「会社やビジネスなどを管理する技術、実践、または科学の研究例文 having just completed a course in management studies経営学のコースを修了したばかり」が定義されていま..
詳細はこちらへアクセスしてください: https://eigo-bunpou.com/management-studies/
#英語文法 #英文法
submitted by eigo-bunpou to omoshiroi_eigo_bunpou [link] [comments]
2024.11.27 08:50 Aggressive_Bad_7081 Metal with e drums??
Hi there, Can I play metal music with an e drum set or are the mesh pads too sensitive for a high number of bpm? Have a great Day!
submitted by Aggressive_Bad_7081 to edrums [link] [comments]