seeking advice - oldest daughter trying to go low contact

2024.11.29 10:30 No-Truck-284 seeking advice - oldest daughter trying to go low contact

i’m the oldest daughter (i only have 1 younger brother) and i’m sick and tired of my family making me take care of everything for them. i currently live at home, but will be moving out next month (out of state thankfully, so they won’t be able to visit and bother me often).
today was especially triggering for me. my brother is a senior in high school and is looking to apply to colleges (the deadline is already in a few days), so my parents have been nagging me every day to help him finish his apps, but every time i sit down and try to help him, he says he doesn’t want to - yet my parents are making this MY problem. when this happened again today, i literally had to remove myself from the situation and walk away because i was just so done.
also, my parents have a pretty rocky relationship and have been putting me in the middle of their marriage - they hardly speak to each other anymore and will “pass on” messages for me to tell the other person, ex: my mom saying “can you remind your dad to do this?” however, anytime i try to remind my dad that something needs to get done, he constantly pushes it off.
i’ve been really stressed out because i feel the looming weight of my brother’s upcoming college app deadlines + the stress about the other things my dad needs to do that he refuses to do (ex: filling out paperwork for my parents’ insurance, stuff like that.) for my mental health, i know i need to set that boundary and refuse to help when my parents ask me to anymore, but since i’m the oldest daughter and am so used to functioning this way & taking care of everything, i still feel that stress lingering in the back of my mind. i know the only way to no longer be stressed about these things is to distance myself from my family and go low contact.
i’d love to hear any reassurance or advice from people going through similar situations, or words of encouragement from those who are now on the other side of things.
thanks for reading and i’m wishing you all a happy, peaceful holiday season!
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Use the link for e Harmony Black Friday Ads 2024. The website features a wide selection of coupons, promo codes, and discount deals that are updated regularly for you to choose from and make your purchase more affordable.
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