Tired.

2024.11.29 15:40 Disastrous-Shoe-2702 Tired.

I’m so tired of missing him. He’s put me through so much, and I still care for him, even when it’s clear he’s never cared about my feelings. I want to move on, and I’m trying so hard, but I just can’t.
For some backstory: my ex and I broke up around 7 to 8 months ago. He broke up with me, and he never gave me closure. One thing he said to me that still rings in my head is, “I’m exhausting.” It was random and over text, and it happened a week before my birthday. We were still in contact for my birthday, and he ruined it by being super rude to me with his friends.
It was weird because we were fine up until then. Anyway, we stopped talking altogether a few weeks later. Then I found out a bunch of things he did while we were together. He was showing his friends pictures of other girls and talking about them inappropriately while we were together. Everyone knew this, and no one told me.
He also watched porn while we were together, which I asked him about, and he lied and said he didn’t. Later, I found out he did and was telling his friends about it. Then, he would talk about what we did sexually to his friends. While I know some people are okay with that, it was a first for me, and I just wasn’t okay with it. It wasn’t just one person—he’d talk to random guys about me like that.
The whole thing with him is that he cared more about being liked by others than caring about my feelings. He would also talk badly about me while we were together, then pretend he didn’t say anything. There was a whole bunch of lying. One time, he even called another girl hot and talked about her sexually while he was on the phone with his friends. One of them accidentally slipped and told me. That happened toward the beginning of our relationship.
After we broke up, I was in a really bad place. Some days, I couldn’t get out of bed or go to school. I had to sleep with my grandma because my family didn’t want me to be alone. I was crying so much, and it was just so bad. I didn’t want to go to school because he would say mean things about me, and I’d hear about it. It crushed me.
That was last school year. This school year, I broke no contact with him about two months ago. We started talking again, but I found out he was also talking to another girl. He had so many chances to tell me, but he never did. He led me on and then got with the other girl. He never told me directly about this instead he just unadded me without a word and without closure again.
Once he made their relationship public, he tried to throw it in my face. He followed my best friend on Instagram just to show me the profile picture of him and the other girl together. He knew that would tear me apart.
I’ve done so much to try to get over him, including things I don’t even want to admit. When I think about the things I did to try to forget him, it makes me sick. I even turned to substances to numb the pain and ended up hurting myself because I thought I wasn’t enough. I was desperate to figure out what was wrong with me and why I wasn't good enough so I took it out on myself. I had a low appetite and stopped eating and would almost pass out often. There were also so attempts that I’d rather not talk about but I feel like it’s important to mention.
I hate that I ever let someone treat me like that. I hate that I fell in love with someone who could make me feel so empty. And I told myself before I met him I would never get attached to a guy like that and here I am. And the thing is I’ve tried really hard to move on I’ve talked to other guys but I’ve stopped talking to them all around after a week because I just feel guilty when I do.
Most of all, I hate that I can’t move on from him—and he knows that. I hate that I can’t hate him. I know he’s not good for me at all. I know he’s not great. But I want him to be so much better, and I know he can be. All I ever wanted from him was for him to say, “I’m sorry.” That’s it.
I just want him to do better and never make anyone else feel like I do. I care so deeply for him, but I can’t do it anymore. He’s embarrassed me and punished me for loving him. He gets to be happy, and I don’t. Someone who treated me so badly gets to be happy, and I don’t.
It makes me sick when I think about how sweet he was and how in love I was with him—how different things are now. Every time I see him, my stomach turns. I really did love him, though. Sometimes I still think I do. But he’s changed me completely. I don’t know who I am anymore, and I don’t know what to do with myself.
It’s gotten a little better, but sometimes I just burst into tears and start to panic. I’m so scared of being alone, and I’m so scared that he was right about me being “exhausting.” I’ve tried so hard to better myself since then, and it makes me so mad that he’s gotten worse.
I just want him to be better. I just really love him. I loved too much this time, and now I can’t leave its gotten to the point where I'm moving to Texas with my grandpa, just because I feel like I can't stand to be here anymore it's just too much for me.
There was so much more that went on but I just can’t stand that I let it get to me so much and I’ve tried getting out of the hole I’m in. But it is so hard and I’m so so tired but I’m really trying. Lately I’ve been pretending and pretending I’m happy and everyone in my life thinks I’m fine but I’m so so lonely and so worried what I’m going to end up like I just really want to go back to when none of this ever happened. I just miss when I was little and had so much joy in my face.
submitted by Disastrous-Shoe-2702 to BreakUps [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 x120091 Lucifer Fanart - by CKReeves

submitted by x120091 to ObeyMe_ImagesandMore [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 real-lifedoll 17 looking for some friends

hi I’m ela & I’m 17. I am a massive fan of everything about the 2000s & 1990s. I’m also a massive doll collector. I mostly collect babrie, rainbow high, and monster high. I’m also autistic.
submitted by real-lifedoll to ageregression [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 FlightOk8704 If you could remove one simple daily task, what would it be?

submitted by FlightOk8704 to AskReddit [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Historical-Stuff-975 madlad hates stake

submitted by Historical-Stuff-975 to madlads [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Big_Contract_9932 Truth

They stay lying
submitted by Big_Contract_9932 to truthislit [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 laaksoar Rauhallinen taukotila arjen keskellä – Ekokampaamo Tauko

submitted by laaksoar to tiedotteet [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 n8_xo Zamazenta 178110438250 4mins

submitted by n8_xo to PokemonGoRaids [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 scotty813 Any reason to leave the lathe?

Bathroom remodeling in 1896 Victoria. Repair or remove the lathe? Thanks!
submitted by scotty813 to Tile [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 TeslaReferral Tesla Referral Code

Congrats on your new Tesla! Enjoy and here is my referral for up to $2k off:
https://www.tesla.com/referral/bradley94674
submitted by TeslaReferral to teslareferralcode [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 reamkore Woke up like this

submitted by reamkore to raiders [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Terrible-Structure75 Lenskart gold membership coupon please!

submitted by Terrible-Structure75 to IndianBeautyDeals [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 seaworld9 How to flip recruits in dynasty? Played 30+ seasons and have only seen it once.

Anyone know how this works? I’ve now played well over 30 seasons between multiple different dynasties. I’ve only ever seen a recruit flipped ONCE after verbally committing, and it was one of mine that I lost. Anyone know how this works? Is it possible to flip commits that verbally commit somewhere else? Is it worth it to leave them on my recruiting board or better to just cut bait and move on?
submitted by seaworld9 to NCAAFBseries [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 LSUgator So happy to be able to grab some TG in Florida

Will be bringing back some extras if anyone around the BR area wants a trade or donation.
submitted by LSUgator to NewOrleansBeer [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 QuirkyPNewton Dating a Taurus woman

Do I have to appeal to all 5 senses all the time? I mean like looking good, smelling good, my voice doesn’t change (people like it), always cooking good foods etc. even if you guys have some off days especially when you’re depressed.
submitted by QuirkyPNewton to Taurusgang [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Extension-Curve-3311 Need Laptop Recs At Dif. Price Points

Hello all! One of my family members wants to get me a modern gaming laptop for Christmas and asked me to make a list of some options, but I have no idea what budget they have. I am looking for something that can run many programs at once, (i.e. Discord, Firefox, Balatro, Subnautica 2, etc), while not hitting a huge performance deficit. It also needs to not be too overwhelmingly loud, as I play in the same room as some others in my family, but audible fans are fine. I mostly want to play games such as MC, Balatro, Hades II, and other games that aren't as intensive, (such as RDR2). Do you all have some recommendations for laptops at some different price points that would fit my needs? Thank you!
submitted by Extension-Curve-3311 to GamingLaptops [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 JadendayZero Friday Yandere manga discussion!

What are some Yandere mangas you recommend for this weekend?
submitted by JadendayZero to JadendayZero [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Ordinary_Art_4325 selling RHD/RH Halos for paypal. Dm if interested

submitted by Ordinary_Art_4325 to RobloxCrosstrading [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 rusakovic 📩 Instructor, Data Analytics Certificate Salary: 💰$68,600.00 - $103,000.00. 📍Remote job in 🇺🇸 United States

submitted by rusakovic to likeremote [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 kn_nora first picture as camera newbie [X-T20 + XC16-50mm]

submitted by kn_nora to fujifilm [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Adonai17 29 [M4F] What is something that made you smile today?

Hello there! Hanging out with the family pos-Thanksgiving before going back to the real world and some company sounds fun, so I am looking to make a new chat friend. Let’s talk about anything: work gossip, friend gossip, hobbies, vent sess, need to escape your family? You know the good stuff, short-term and long-term all work for me! I’ll start by asking what made you smile today?
About me, I live in Colorado and do professional training for work. I enjoy video games and board games, reading, and hanging out with friends, and I have been getting into pickleball recently to keep active.
If you are interested, DM me!
submitted by Adonai17 to snapchat [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 drgolong The Rise and Fall of East Bay Hardcore - AFI (YouTube video)

By YouTuber Heavy Academia
"How did AFI go from being an impactful underground hardcore punk band, to a band that wants nothing to do with hardcore? " (video description)
https://youtu.be/tfadbEU-HN0?si=2vIyoVs9kmGyEc5F
Thoughts?
submitted by drgolong to AFireInside [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 KeboHan [FOR HIRE] Illustration with an Anime style start from $50

submitted by KeboHan to Artistsforhire [link] [comments]

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submitted by sophie_e_e_ to TEMUpact [link] [comments]

2024.11.29 15:40 Richard302 Do you guys have delivery pullers

So like the title said, does your store have delivery pullers? I work receiving and we have two guys who pull all flatbed delivery orders. My delivery coordinator was complaining about them one day and one of delivery drivers was basically like, “you lucky you have them, some stores don’t”. So i’m just curious who does and who doesn’t! We have high volume of lumber and flooring deliveries so it makes sense we have them but just curious how other stores get all their orders pulled w/o them
submitted by Richard302 to Lowes [link] [comments]

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