AITAH for Not Wanting My Partner’s Sister to Stay During His Heart Surgery Recovery?
2024.11.30 06:41 growup_and_blowaway AITAH for Not Wanting My Partner’s Sister to Stay During His Heart Surgery Recovery?
I (33F) have been with my partner (38M) for 10 years. Recently, he was diagnosed with a serious heart condition requiring bypass surgery. His family, who are Southeast Asian and live in NY, has a history of anger issues, though my partner has worked on his.
His sister (42F) and her new husband (34M) flew out to help with his business but stayed over a month after the diagnosis. I was okay with it since it distracted him, even though it disrupted my routine. However, when we had to tell their mother about the surgery, things unraveled.
His mother, who has a weak heart and gets hysterical easily, needed careful handling. I prepped the sister for over a month, sent scripts, and even included techniques to manage panic attacks. But during the call, as soon as the mother broke down, the sister started screaming at her, completely derailing the conversation. Despite all the prep, she reverted to her usual behavior—yelling and escalating the situation instead of providing support.
This deeply hurt me. I’ve gone out of my way to support his sister over the years, including planning self-care trips for her. I trusted her with this critical moment, and she betrayed that trust.
Now, as my partner recovers, the sister insists on her and her husband staying for 1-3 months in our small two-bedroom apartment. I suggested one week, which I think is reasonable to let her check on him and ensure he’s settled. My partner is furious, saying she’ll take better care of him than I will (despite me being the one managing his care, working hybrid, and balancing grad school).
It’s escalated to the point where I’m staying in a hotel because his sister won’t talk to me, and he refuses to acknowledge how this affects me.
So, AITA? I understand the cultural aspect, and I know he’s the patient and deserves the support he wants. But I also feel I’m being dismissed and pushed aside in my own home. Am I being unreasonable for prioritizing a peaceful recovery environment?
TL;DR: My (33F) partner (38M) is recovering from heart bypass surgery, and his sister (42F) wants to stay in our small apartment for 1-3 months. She failed to support their mother during the emotional news despite months of prep and caused chaos instead. I feel betrayed and suggested a one-week visit to avoid more tension, but my partner insists she’ll take better care of him than me. Now I’m in a hotel because he and his sister won’t address my concerns. AITA for wanting a peaceful recovery space?
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//Gneno
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