I'm severely mentally ill. I feel like a leech.
2024.11.30 10:31 herestillandstoic I'm severely mentally ill. I feel like a leech.
I already made a similar post on another sub-reddit. I wanted to post it here to get more advice, both from people similar and people in general. This is a throwaway and while I do discuss my personal health issues, anyway of possibly being able to identify me irl is impossible as I have divulged zero info as to my location and or personal identity.
Hi. Throwaway. I have "classic"/social/homebound agoraphobia, MDD, bipolar disorder type 1, social and general anxiety.
I really can't do much of anything anymore. I feel like a massive leech. No matter how many times I get reassured by the people around me, I wish I could do more. At the bare minimum have any sort of income would be nice.
Living off of other people always leads me in this paranoid loop that I'm hated more than I am loved. That people are lovey on the outside, but on the inside they think I'd be better off dead. I feel like I'm better off dead sometimes. I weigh the pros and cons of me killing myself from time to time and the only con I find is that people would be upset at my passing. But it's only temporary, is what i try to say to myself. I cant get myself to believe that 100% though as the people around me try there absolute best to help me.
I have tried applying for disability income, but was denied. Like I was lying about it or something. That or the people in power have a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to mental health problems. After being denied after fighting for years for help has made me cynical, paranoid, isolated, and makes me feel hated. Like the general consensus is that people believe I'm better off dead than living of the government.
I neglect my own self care and it has its effects on me. I won't discuss specifics as i don't want to trigger others.
My nightmares have gotten so much worse. I have been going through various med changes to no avail as of yet. I get stuck in these nightmares, it is the worse type of lucid dreaming. I feel it to some degree. The vibration of my throat as I yell, the heat or lack thereof, the emotions, hell even the texture of the environments nowadays. I'm awake for days at a time out of fear of sleeping. My nightmares are like I'm living a separate life from my waking life.
However, I have tried taking a semi-stoic approach on life. I'm not living for myself anymore, I'm living for the people around me. As sad as that may seem, it gives me a little more purpose in life. Seneca, a philosopher said, "Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." It's a quote I live by. I try to remain courageous against the call of the void so that the people around me can live easier in the regard of me continuing to live, despite everything.
"As long as you live, keep learning how to live."
That's all I can do for now. For people in similar boats as me, I'm sure you have thought that living for others rather than yourself is depressing. All I can say is it works for me.
Keep fighting. Keep being courageous. Keep learning. Spit into the call of the void, spit in the face of your demons and press on. Someone out there cares about you and loves you. Even if you are alone now, you will find someone. Live to spite the demons you may deal with. Hang in there.
submitted by herestillandstoic to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 Relevant-Manager-924 Neighbour damaged oir fence - who is liable?
The neighbour who lives behind me attached an 8 foot metal pole to the 6 foot colourbond fence that divides us. To this pole they have attached a wire, which goes all the way to another pole in their back yard. They use this contraption as their clothesline. Now, this pole has damaged the fence by bending it and pulling it to my neighbours side. The fence needs repairing and so I got a couple of quotes to present to my neighbour, but they refuse to pay a cent and are of the opintion that If I want to fox the fence then I have to pay. Where do I stand?
Located in NSW.
submitted by Relevant-Manager-924 to AusLegal [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 ItsSignalsJerry_ this was the sequel. The lady in a coma must have made it out and ended up in WW2. Oh mama!
 | submitted by ItsSignalsJerry_ to seinfeld [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 NantoLink [Corriere della Sera] Milan awaits Bennacer’s return and opens doors to Jović and Okafor exits
AC Milan denies being interested in Monza’s Bondo or Verona’s Belahyane: the club is waiting for Bennacer to return to the squad before making further considerations about midfield needs. Certainly, technical area director Moncada will not turn down offers for Jović, who is already excluded from the Champions League list, and, surprisingly, not even for Okafor, who has ultimately proven to be ineffective both as Leão’s backup and as an alternative to Morata.
submitted by NantoLink to ACMilan [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 HumbleAd2340 Am I doing this right? Deadpool David sketch. Florence, Italy.
submitted by HumbleAd2340 to deadpool [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 vantthinkofanameyet i cant join anything in bmc now?
yesterday everything worked perfectly fine but now everytime i right click on any npc to join a game, nothing shows up no matter how many times i click
how do i even play anymore
submitted by vantthinkofanameyet to minecraftclients [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 moonties Probably A Negative But Need Reassurance ASAP
it's been 36 days since I had sex .i'm on a combination bc, but i'm still paranoid since i threw up a pill earlier in the pack and didn't make up for it later though i still took the rest of the pills with perfect schedule. also, i didnt get withdrawal bleeding this month and since i normally had regular "bleeding" except for the first 2 months of the pill it made me nervous. i'm pretty sure i'm not pregnant but did a test today just in case. there's no way this is a positive right?
submitted by moonties to lineporn [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 giveMeAbreakBicth HEL! I'm in Baguio!
Can someone please accomodate or recommed me a transient kahit magdamag lang ? I need to login at work at 11PM tonight. Nag cancel ung nibooked kong stay. Night shift ako so okay lang kahit sa sala ako ,magshare nalang po ako ng costs if ever. Salamat po!
submitted by giveMeAbreakBicth to baguio [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 Quiick_IT How To Create Sequence Of Images Form A Video Using Blender?
 | submitted by Quiick_IT to BlenderVideoEditing [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 ShedEnd1905 such mature very wow
 | submitted by ShedEnd1905 to classicwow [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 RipCrist_official My Powkiddy V90 is missing some games
 | So I just bought this device last week and when I was looking for my favorite Mario game I noticed every Mario game was missing, then I got pretty bummed out about it so I went ahead and looked for Pokemon emerald and when I went to the gba section and saw that Pokemon games were missing too If someone sees this post please tell me how to fix this submitted by RipCrist_official to PowKiddy [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 Lawgsters Say goodbye to student debt - Skillsvest
Hello I am Sreemaan an undergrad from UC Berkeley. I am the founder of skillsvest (www.skillsvest.com), we are a startup trying to work on an alternative to student funding in countries where collateral is a barrier to entry for a lot of low income background individuals.
We are backed by some prominent silicon valley figures (CEO of the Northface, Founder of Alaya VC, Founder of a 100M worth startup and couple of board members of certain public market listed banks in india).
Please DM me if you think you think we can help your situation
Thank you
submitted by Lawgsters to StudentLoans [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 StatisticianHour8680 894743164243 Zamazenta
submitted by StatisticianHour8680 to PokemonGoRaids [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 benderofdemise Skill drain
How does skill drain work? Is it that both players can activate effects but both players can also activate skill drain in response by paying the cost?
Sorry for the many posts these days. I'm watching a lot of yugioh hoping to get back into meta eventually.
submitted by benderofdemise to Yugioh101 [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 I_m_literallyfrmMars The real beauty is here
 | submitted by I_m_literallyfrmMars to ticktocktreasures [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 peanutsforcorvids When you have no patience and you are vocal...😁🖤
 | submitted by peanutsforcorvids to crowbro [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 Sweet-South-9070 Why do gamers buy skins on free-to-play games?
d
submitted by Sweet-South-9070 to ask [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 Jaded-West-1125 I don’t know what to do anymore
Currently managerial handling a team, from a long stint of being an individual contributor. Okay naman sya sakin honestly, kasi yung mga petty tasks nadedelegate ko. Nahihirapan lang ako pag dumadami na yung binabagsak sakin na entities kasi nagreresign yung mga assigned accountant nila. I’m on a shared service setup anyway. Kapag iniisip ko onboarding ng new entities/client, naiistress nko kse puno na rin mga staff ko. Mgmt does not consider adding manpower. Nakakalungkot kse gusto ko naman yung ginagawa ko kaso my leaders are kuripot sa manpower. Puro cost savings lang nasa utak. Cost savings ng business pero at the expense of the employees. Parang gusto ko nlang ako mismo umalis para di ko na problemahin to.
I’m a CPA for more than 5 yrs na, with 3yrs managerial experience. 6 digits sweldo yes. But gusto ko ng workplace na manageable ang demand at hindi kuripot sa manpower 🥲
submitted by Jaded-West-1125 to AccountingPH [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 feetyourlick hi…wanna be my pleaser?
 | submitted by feetyourlick to RealGirlsFeet [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 xo_wilson_xo Hugues Laurents Photoshoot - 2018
submitted by xo_wilson_xo to Emma_Roberts [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 Fuzzy_Pop_543 Karina
 | submitted by Fuzzy_Pop_543 to AESPA_Hotties [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 YaaqovDeSilentio Strange bruising placement after holding pads
 | So we were practising outside leg kicks in training and I was holding pads for my partner. It then started to hurt a lot more than in previous sessions. It was a new partner and he was kicking very hard. I'm still new to Muay Thai and my coach told me I wasn't bracing when holding the pads which makes it hurt way more than it should. So I started bracing but it still hurt a lot. My leg was numb and sore all over by the end of class. My partner was kicking really hard and the coach told him a couple of times to tone it down. The weird part (as you can see in the photos) is that there's only small bruising on the outside of the thigh where I was being kicked, but huge bruising on the inside thigh where I wasn't kicked at all. Why would I bruise like this? Can't make sense of it. Anyone experienced this? submitted by YaaqovDeSilentio to MuayThai [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 jvc72 Buy Signal Melon USD - 30 Nov 2024 @ 05:28 -> USD18.55
Ticker: MLNUSD
Exchange: CRYPTO
Time: 30 Nov 2024 @ 05:28
Price: USD18.55
Link: https://getagraph.com/crypto-currencies/MLNUSD/ENG
submitted by jvc72 to getagraph [link] [comments]
2024.11.30 10:31 shaykhsaahb Is it just me or does the disc drive on PS5 pro make a lot of noise when you turn it on?
 | submitted by shaykhsaahb to PS5pro [link] [comments] |
2024.11.30 10:31 olio-ataxia Sauerkraut with white patches
Made in the usual way, but I don’t recall seeing white patches the first time I made sauerkraut. Is my second batch ok? Wondering if it’s natural
submitted by olio-ataxia to fermentation [link] [comments]