Selfish Eater
2025.01.18 19:00 ScoutBandit Selfish Eater
I'm not entirely sure this should go here so please excuse me if it doesn't. I'll delete if necessary. I'm venting because talking to the person involved here has repeatedly done me no good.
So, for context I'm F mid 50s and my partner is M, 60. We're both disabled and live on a low, fixed income. We get food stamps monthly but they don't cover the cost of all the food we buy. I do the grocery shopping (mostly delivery) and always ask him if there's anything specific he wants. His answer is either, "surprise me," or, "you know I'll eat anything you make." I generally only cook once a day so I buy convenience foods that he can fix himself like sandwich meat and bread, hot dogs, cans of things he can warm up, etc. The idea is that if he gets hungry before I've cooked dinner, he can make himself something simple. I also buy things that I expect us to share. Those are mostly treat items, but are also just things we both like to eat. When the groceries arrive, I show him the things I got specifically for him, and point out the things that are for both of us. I ask him not to eat things I bought specifically to cook with, and also to be considerate of me with the things for both of us. He nods and says he understands.
Three days ago I made a huge roast in the crock pot. Like 8 pounds. It was so big it almost didn't fit. I told him I planned to divide it in half, making pulled pork for sandwiches from half, and to the other half I'd add vegetables and we would eat it as a pot roast. I put it on low and we went to bed.
The next day I got up and immediately checked the roast. Easily 3/4 of it was gone! I asked him and apparently he'd gotten up in the early morning hungry. Instead of going to the convenience foods I'd bought for him, he sat down and ate several plates of the roast. By the time I got up and went to fix it the way I'd planned there wasn't enough left to divide. So I told him off, added potatoes and carrots, and now have to figure out what to do with the nice rolls I bought for the sandwiches.
He knew my plans for the roast. We had a long talk about it as I was searing and seasoning it to go into the crock pot. Not only did he ruin the plans, but he ate so much that a meal that should have lasted 3-4 days was gone in 1. Remember, we have to be careful how we spend our food budget, as I said above. He does stuff like this all the time, like he's the only one who lives here and has to eat. Like this huge roast in the crock pot magically appeared for him to scarf down like a dog that hasn't eaten in a week. I don't exist, I guess, because he eats like all the food is for him.
I wish I could go out and buy hundreds of dollars worth of snacks and big meals for every week, but we just don't have enough money.
I had also bought 3 containers of ice cream because it went on sale for an ultra-cheap price. We both had some the other day. Well, today I wanted a bowl of ice cream, and I thought there should be plenty. Nope! I opened the freezer and all 3 containers were gone. I got 1 bowl. He ate 2 3/4 containers of ice cream within the same time frame that he hogged most of the roast. We can't buy it often, so when we can I would like to equally share it.
I went and screamed at him, and he understands why I'm angry. He said he had nothing to defend himself. I asked him why he keeps doing this (because this isn't the first time) and he shrugged his shoulders.
I'm at my wits' end. I don't know what to do. Do I have to get another Fridge and put a lock on it? I don't want to be the food dictator, but not only does he not consider me when he goes on his eating binges, but he knows we don't have enough money and food stamps for him to plow through a week's worth of groceries in one day. I bought a half gallon of orange juice in the last shopping order. It didn't last 24 hours, and I had one small glass. I'm tired of having to explain this to him over and over because he's just not listening. Why do I have to be an asshole and yell or hide things?
He is not overweight. We've had the same discussion over and over and over. I'm about to just say f-it, and buy one meal worth of stuff at a time, no goodies, and stand guard over whatever I bought so that maybe I might get to have some too. I'm so far beyond pissed right now that it's not even funny.
What do you do with a selfish, inconsiderate eater?
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2025.01.18 19:00 dipakc786 युद्ध की सायकोलॉजी by Deep Trivedi - NEW BOOK LAUNCHING (Psychology of War)
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2025.01.18 19:00 gijs1995 29 Dutch looking for a best friend
Hello :)
I don't have many friends in real life, but it would be great to have an online friend with whom I can talk about anything :) I’m usually kind of introverted and shy (but still social!) in the beginning, but once there is a good connection, that goes away. I’m pretty much an open book.
Maybe we can also watch a tv show together or like read the same book at the same time?
I'm 29 years old, love playing board games, building Lego-sets, Disney, traveling, reading and watching tv and movies.
I'd love to hear from you :)
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https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/india/epfo-members-can-now-change-personal-details-transfer-epf-online-themselves-12913756.html
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Hi everyone, I’m currently in a 3-year degree program (6 semesters), but I’ll likely be finishing in 8-9 semesters instead. I’m maintaining above a B average, and I plan to apply for a master’s at a good university. Is taking a bit longer to graduate common, and could it affect my prospects for grad school or future job opportunities? Would love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience
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2025.01.18 19:00 LackofBinary I love but hate my Mother.
She’s 42, 43 soon and I’m 26, turning 27 this year. We live together with my dad and my sister who recently moved out. My parents are roommates. We all pay the same amount of money and contribute to the household.
My mom drives me insane because she’s such a disgusting bitch, sometimes. I love her, truly, but the way she treats me disgusts me.
I left work early. I have been feeling defeated and super depressed lately. Losing weight and I’m already thinner than I should be.
My parents do not finance any part of my life and vice versa. My mom is controlling, rude, and inconsiderate as fuck. She told me when I was 25 not to curse on FB because it would make her look bad…
She drives a sports vehicle. Can afford the gas but gets angry when I don’t let her take my only car for a few days up north. She also gets tickets a lot so no.
She has told me in the past how she hates talking to me(I talk of similar subjects due to neurodivergence), feels like I need to be more of an adult. By being an adult she feels like I shouldn’t talk to her about random things that I can tell my friends. That one really hurt.
Today, she got annoyed with me because I didn’t tell her I was going to get food on my way home from work. I was also on the phone the entire time. The place I got it from is 3mins from my house. She was too lazy to get her own food.
I told her she could have what I had for dinner, which I also got because I’ve been having issues putting on weight. I told her she could have some, then expressed if she wanted ALL of it that’s fine but someday she will have to go and get me some. Not today, tomorrow, or the next month. Just at some point because this place is 30-40mins from my house.
I likely would have forgot this. Anyway, that made her upset. But, personally, I don’t have to do shit for them. My mom asks me for favors all day because she needs to pick up or carry something, she needs help with groceries, wants me to make her food, whatever.
She needs to depend on my lazy ass father for that shit. I’m not her caretaker and they’ve basically groomed their children into being slaves.
My dad is passive and stoic so my mom could choke slam me to the ground and he wouldn’t say shit. So, I’m not even going to mention him
Just getting tired of fighting with her everyday about fucking nonsense. Sick of this shit.
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