Underdog
2025.01.20 20:41 Appropriate-Ad2686 Underdog
Can somebody send me a screen recording explaining on how to place bets on the nba? That shi kinda confusing
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2025.01.20 20:41 sandiegosoccer Fan-made SDFC away kit prediction
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2025.01.20 20:41 _super_sus_ Looking for offers for my almost finished tiny house! I can add MFR lavender for a good upgrade š
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2025.01.20 20:41 Rare-Bullfrog1206 Hacksaw not working?
 | Is it true it got banned? submitted by Rare-Bullfrog1206 to stakeus [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 20:41 ChemicalGeologist498 Relapsing
How Many Times Is It Going to Take Before I Learn?1
This isnāt a cry for helpāI have the support, the meetings, the people rooting for me. This is more of a āDear Meā post, because I need to hear this out loud.
Iāve been addicted to crack cocaine for three years. It didnāt start that way. It started with sniffing at 21. Just at parties. Just with mates. I had the willpower to take it or leave it.
And then the abuser died. The one who left a scar so deep I didnāt even realise I was bleeding from it every day of my life. And somehow, what started as "just at parties" became smoking crack to silence everything.
Now here I am. Iāve got resources. Online meetings I never miss. A doctor who keeps reminding me that my pattern of binging and abstaining is like playing Russian roulette because every time I come off, my tolerance resets. He says the way Iām going, Iām pushing closer to an overdose with every relapse. And still, here I am.
I just came off a six-month clean streak. Six months of hard-earned peaceāgone in one binge. Iām 10 days clean again now, but the cycle is crushing. Every time I relapse, I tell myself never again. I mean it, too. The guilt, the shame, the financial straināit eats me alive every time. And yet, every time, I find an excuse to pick up again.
When is it going to be enough? When will I decide to finally learn? Is it going to take losing my life? Losing the people who care about me? Because I can feel it creeping closer, that āone more timeā that might be my last.
I wish I could tell you that Iāve found the answer, but I havenāt. I just know I want to. And Iām scaredāscared of the part of me that keeps reaching for the thing thatās killing me, even when I know better.
If youāre reading this and youāve been where I am, how did you make it stop? How did you break the cycle? Because I donāt want this to be my life anymore.
And if youāre me, the future me reading this back someday, I hope youāve found a way. I hope youāre still alive. And I hope you remember that youāre worth saving, no matter how many times it takes.
Because letās be honest: I donāt want to die. Not really. I donāt wake up each day thinking, This is it. Letās end it. But I also know the path Iām on is leading me to a place I canāt come back from. And the scariest part? Iām the one walking myself there. No one is forcing me. Itās me.
But why? Thatās the question I keep coming back to. Why do I keep choosing this when I know itās wrong, when I know it hurts me and everyone around me? I look at the people who love meāfriends, family, the people in my meetingsāand I feel like Iām letting them down every time I slip. But worse, Iām letting myself down.
Six months clean was something to be proud of. Six months of saying no, of building routines, of trying to feel like me again. And then one moment, one bad decision, and it was gone. The spiral starts so fastāitās like I blink and Iām back at the bottom, scrambling to find the strength to climb out again.
Youād think guilt would be a motivator, wouldnāt you? Or fear. Fear of overdosing, of losing everything, of becoming a statistic. But addiction doesnāt care about logic. It doesnāt care about fear. It doesnāt care that Iām trying. It just whispers that Iāll feel better if I give in. That one more time wonāt hurt. That I deserve to escape, just for a bit.
And maybe thatās the hardest partāadmitting that Iām not as strong as once was; as I want to be. Admitting that I keep failing. That Iām scared of failing again, even as I sit here writing this with 10 days clean. I want to be proud of 10 days, but all I can think about is, What if I donāt make it to day 11? What if Day 11 becomes my new Groundhog Day, reliving, restarting, repeating again and again?
So, Dear Me: If youāre reading this in the future, I hope youāre still fighting. I hope youāve found a way to quiet those whispers, to stop believing their lies. I hope youāve finally learned that youāre worth more than this. That you deserve better.
And to anyone else out there who gets itāwhoās been through it or is in it nowāyouāre not alone. I know how lonely it feels, how heavy the shame is, how impossible it seems to break free. But I also know that every day clean is a victory, even if it doesnāt feel like one.
Maybe Iām not where I want to be yet, but Iām here. Iām still trying. And as long as I keep trying, thereās hope. Maybe thatās the lesson I need to learn: itās not about being perfect. Itās about not giving up. No matter if it just takes one day at a time. So be it.
submitted by ChemicalGeologist498 to Vent [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 20:41 DefenseExpress Long-Range Kamikaze Drones of Ukraine's Defense Forces Attack Aviation Plant in Kazan, Producing Tu-160 and Tu-22M3 Strategic Bombers | Defense Express
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2025.01.20 20:41 tomahawktaylor 33 y/o starting 401k
I work for a company that contributes 6% match and I max it out (22,000 a year). Any idea how much that leaves me in 30 years?
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2025.01.20 20:41 LegalComplaint Bears fans this weekā¦
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2025.01.20 20:41 allen123thecat Harriman Reservoir Camping
I live up in NEK but want to take a trip down to Harriman for some ice fishing in the next couple weeks. Not really worth the drive unless I do 2 days though. Does anyone know if camping is allowed on the western side in the National Forest lands? Iād be towards the southern end of the reservoir. Seems like primitive camping should be fine in that area for a night, I donāt imagine anyone would care, but canāt figure out if itās actually legal in that area or not. Does anyone else know the rules here? Thanks!
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2025.01.20 20:41 Few_Buyer1699 Rate me honestly + things i could change ty all š
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2025.01.20 20:41 GeraldKutney The Guardian view on Donald Trumpās inauguration: fear, division and the facade of national populism | Editorial
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2025.01.20 20:41 chairmanoftheTTPD Double charged at Caesars atm?
I withdrew $500 and was charged twice. I didnāt notice until the next morning (before anyone asks I was sober and not drinking so not a human error) went back to casino to try to figure it out and spoke to a manager but pretty much got told this happens frequently with Chase at their location? Anyone else?
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2025.01.20 20:41 Wise_Explanation6556 Is this fated?
 | Crazy synchronicity and almost Instant connection submitted by Wise_Explanation6556 to AstroRelationships [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 20:41 Metal-foster-plain Win a prize pack of gift cards valued at $1500 (02/09/2025) {CA}
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2025.01.20 20:41 Warm_Flamingo1795 ross vet community application
hello, I submitted my ross application in late december and I uploaded my resume/unofficial transcripts on 12/29 however they arenāt checked off yet on the vet community. I was wondering if this has happened to anyone else and how long it will take. thank you
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2025.01.20 20:41 melody_magical I LOVE BEING A TRANSGENDER LUNATIC. šŖš»š©µš©·š¤š©·š©µ
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2025.01.20 20:41 Miramo001 Discord Server for BIOL-203
Hey guys! i wanna make a discord server for biology 203. but it being an Econcordia class makes it really hard to reach other students. is anyone here interested?
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2025.01.20 20:41 AprilNoKuni32 How different people react to a robotic reveal
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2025.01.20 20:41 Tiespecialo One of my favorite moments, is Reed confessing his insecurity with Namor, but Johnny reassuring him. His words stuck on Reed's mind ever since
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2025.01.20 20:41 Atsumi33 Morph?
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2025.01.20 20:41 Fine_Substance_5404 Missing ski tip
My son lost the metal tip on one of his Volki Deacon 7.2 skis. Should I replace it, or is it not a big deal. I don't want his ski to delaminate.
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2025.01.20 20:41 barishtein World Leaders in Squit Game 2
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2025.01.20 20:41 Important_Plate9130 [PC] H: Apparel, Mods, 400 Leaders, 98 Fuzzy Tokens, 218 Nuka quantum grenades W: Glowing mino, Glowing pig, Glowing turkey, Glowing robot also open to other apparel offers
![[PC] H: Apparel, Mods, 400 Leaders, 98 Fuzzy Tokens, 218 Nuka quantum grenades W: Glowing mino, Glowing pig, Glowing turkey, Glowing robot also open to other apparel offers](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/Q-MwQi1GijzoldaFMWm5QMFNj0UAPwUmyR16NrkXKa8.jpg "[PC] H: Apparel, Mods, 400 Leaders, 98 Fuzzy Tokens, 218 Nuka quantum grenades W: Glowing mino, Glowing pig, Glowing turkey, Glowing robot also open to other apparel offers") | submitted by Important_Plate9130 to Fallout76Marketplace [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 20:41 DeLacy12 The battle is over, the war has begun in the NFC North
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2025.01.20 20:41 ClonfertAnchorite Trump doesn't place hand on Bible during swearing-in
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