Pics of my dogs and my sister's dog hanging out
2025.01.20 22:30 Able_Health744 Pics of my dogs and my sister's dog hanging out
 | submitted by Able_Health744 to Eyebleach [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Equivalent_Growth_27 I want to start living myself again
Tw: cheating, sa, abuse (?)
This post is not to victimise myself and I'm not seeking for comments about how I'm trying to minimise my faults in this neither do I want people to tell me that I am a victim. This is rather a full explanation to why it happened and irs a lot for me to process and I'm meeting my therapist in like 1 week so idk what to do about all of this since it all literally just clicked for me. Also I'm a minor so I won't share my age also please don't send me messages since I won't look at them at all bcz of creeps. Ok this might be really long + I have dyslexia TT.
Heres a simplified explation on why I cheated that I've discovered though a few months of self reflection, but it all just clicked for me lol. (If you have some sort of trauma around cheating maybe reading this would trigger you alot so yeah)
As a child i got most likely sexually assaulted by my dad and 4th grade teacher (repressed memories, so I don't have any proof but yk my body remembers). I also grew up abused and that made me get a weird and twisted fixation around rape (/non consentual or non moral relationships like wide age gap, abusive ones, even incest ones, all of these are far out of my morals but I partly didn't want to admit it to myself) but also develop a serious need of valitation, especially sexual ones.
I based all of my worth on it and would do absolutly anything to be called attractive. I thought that the fact of a man or woman being turned on to the level of wanting to sa me was what made me worthy to live. As a child I wanted to be a postitute and I tried everything to have a sexy and "slutty" personality, body and fashion. I also thought that everyone was out sa me (including people like cousins and family), i was insanly scared of it but I also connected it with love and as something that made me worthy and smth I should do(?). it was like I was waiting to finally get sa'd again, when I was 4-8 I would repeatedly dream about getting raped by muliple of people tied up.
Then I fell inlove for the first time and we started daiting :). This first was a very silly relationship but we're now very much inlove and in a long term relationship. Heres the thing she is asexual,I thought i could just lay my hypersexuality behind or something lol so that's what I did. The thing is i never healed (bcs I didn't think there was anything to heal) and i once again found myself buying sexual clothes and toys, recording audios and videos. Since my girlfriend didnt give me any sexual attention I somehow felt unloved and stupidly didnt tell her about those problems either which I should've and its completely my fault that I didn't tell her. Still i tried to cope, I got tired and I was hating myself for being so sexual so I told reddit that I was hypersexual, a teen who couldnt stop fetishising themselfs. I got alot of sexual messages and I won't lie, I loved the attention. But i blocked them all and deleted the post. Later on that day I was in a hypersexual 'phase', thats what I call it atleast. Its basically when I literally go crazy trying to get validation, so i redid the post waiting for the dopamine of old men sending me sexual messages and later on block them.
But there was one message, it was a guy who texted me smth like 'You women have it so easy to get laid anyways' this got me rlly triggerd, bcz one im in the trans umberella (afab + i go by all pronouns) two, yk it was really insulting to women overall. Anyways i started to talk to him, he seemed to maybe be 20-40 smth, then a hour later he asked me if i could send a picture of me wearing those sexual clothes. And i did. Afterwards we sexted a little and yeah that's it (I feel like i kind of knew from the start that he would try to sext with me later, but also i remember not seeing at cheating in the sitaution, I was so blinded in my hypersexuality and dissconnected that I didnt know what I was doing, it doesnt make it any less okay (it's like when your drunk and cheats) but its smth that was important in the journey of making sure it never happend again). Afterwards I realised what I had done and blocked him. The day after I told my girlfriend. Now I also know that I'm asexual too which makes this all more twisted.
Anyways that all happened last year in the start of december, my girlfriend has forgiven me and given me a second chance (since she doesn't see it as cheating by her morals) and she has near to completely moved on. (Yes she might be surpressing her feelings and I'm also worried about that, dw I am not sitting here only thinking about myself in this situation) anyways by morals this is cheating, and by morals cheating is really awful (I also got cheated on once before) + I've always been told that I'm a bad person and I have quite the moral perfectionistic mindset where I can't forgive myself for any mistake at all, even rhe small silly ones.
Now together with my therapist I have worked the past month on improving myself and holding accountability. And so say myself ive improved quite alot I already have started to heal from my hypersexuality.
But I still have a very hard time forgiving myself or seeing myself as a ever again kind and comforting partner or person to be around. My girlfriend is really just amazing and I don't feel worthy even being loved by her. Also this whole revelation about how both my abuse trauma and sa trauma is connected has overwhelmed me so much and I'm currently struggling to even type this TT. Also om noticing how I don't even feel connected to myself, I feel weirdly numb or as if I'm talking about a character thsts stuck in my mind, that's probably why when I feel self hatered or suicidal I usually feel like I want to leave my body or I feel so disconnected and disgusted with myself. Aksjs idk what to do anymore.
Edit: yes I know it's dumb of a minor to post this but I really just need to be fully tell anyone, also idk what to do TT Once again I'm not scared to block anyone who tries tries to get me to message them
submitted by Equivalent_Growth_27 to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 skibidrizzler69 Skeptical at first but it's actually so good
 | I tried the blue raspberry jolly rancher one yesterday and it was kinda okay but I could barely finish it, but after refrigerating thing one it's so damn good and I'm low-key obsessed submitted by skibidrizzler69 to energydrinks [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 RaidDripped Deoxys on me, Trainer code 7332 0512 9096. 5 are here
submitted by RaidDripped to PokemonGoRaids [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 SalemxCaleb Help!
Went to get my car serviced 2 weeks ago and they refilled all my fluids but didn't put any antifreeze stuff into my windshield fluid, and my reservoir is frozen solid! What should I do?
submitted by SalemxCaleb to COROLLA [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 Strange-Tourist-2122 Existe algum databook virtual feito pelos fãs?
Não necessariamente um databook como o oficial, apenas as estatísticas com atributos de poder (velocidade, stamina, e etc). Já que as oficiais com certeza estão muito erradas.
Estou querendo fazer um bonitinho e até analisar os dados depois se não for tão trabalhoso. Tô com algumas ideias mas gostaria de saber se já existe um disponível.
submitted by Strange-Tourist-2122 to Naruto [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 memeguy13525 .
submitted by memeguy13525 to StanleyMOV [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 Rincey_nz Masterton Mitre10 open hours according to Google
 | submitted by Rincey_nz to Wellington [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 SnooShortcuts706 another great yt channel
 | submitted by SnooShortcuts706 to vagabond [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Logical-Help-7555 What were the accusations for anthony rich of greenvale
submitted by Logical-Help-7555 to Westchester [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 Julioslash95 .
 | submitted by Julioslash95 to AuronPlay [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 misterio95 Got told that my [Control] shots could fit here aswell
![Got told that my [Control] shots could fit here aswell](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/wy9HQsPw4Jix8iZ8_M1Fd8e4y1fBgXa3x92Kr2-dP4A.jpg "Got told that my [Control] shots could fit here aswell") | submitted by misterio95 to VirtualPhotographers [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 feeling_invincible ايه ده يا جدعان
 | submitted by feeling_invincible to Egypt [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Jordan_272014 Should i accept?
 | submitted by Jordan_272014 to Soundmap [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Shangrilette After parties announced!
 | submitted by Shangrilette to juggaloday [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Frisky-Pineapple5678 Stella being a scamp
 | She loves getting up in my business submitted by Frisky-Pineapple5678 to shouldercats [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Due-Difficulty9578 Fluval Flex 15g Corner Chip
 | submitted by Due-Difficulty9578 to Aquariums [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 m4struct Metal frame around door for weatherproofing
 | Hi all, My rear door has a weird metal frame around it that slots into a metal groove around the door frame. It fits into the groove, but there are a ton of gaps, especially under the door. Can't figure out how to take off the frame to replace with better weather seal. Anyone know what this is? submitted by m4struct to Insulation [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 SirConwayTwitty Michael Godard Zen martini
 | Purchased at a thrift store. I looked up the artist It's numbered in a series to 150 but I can't find anything in the same series. It looks intentionally distressed? Looking at the artists work it seems almost like it's supposed to be? Does anyone know why there's 2 signatures and is it worth anything? submitted by SirConwayTwitty to WhatIsThisPainting [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 lss_bvt_and_12 Dummy Post
submitted by lss_bvt_and_12 to blockuserpollpostsafe [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 GraveRaindrop20 Took advantage of some fresh powder
 | Not pictured: using my new snatch strap to get pulled out of 3 feet of snow. Never wheel alone! submitted by GraveRaindrop20 to Jeep [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 No_Option_4528 Tecer ilusão Pode "criar" criaturas ?
 | Se eu usar esse ritual pra invocar um Zumbi de sangue por exemplo, o alvo levaria dano de sanidade? pq tecnicamente o alvo não sabe que é uma ilusão, oq faz ele acreditar que aquele Zumbi de sangue é real, oque faz ele fazer o teste pra dano mental, caso ele não tenha q fazer o teste de sanidade ent ele sabe que aquela criatura não é "real", Eu tô real confuso sobre isso submitted by No_Option_4528 to OrdemParanormalRPG [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 Electrical-Maybe1129 PC case suggestions
I'm looking to build a white and black build and am looking for case suggestions around £50-60. I've found this case which seems to be good, like almost too good for the price and was wondering what the downsides/catch to building in this case is.
https://amzn.eu/d/4BJwr9S
submitted by Electrical-Maybe1129 to PcBuild [link] [comments]
2025.01.20 22:30 L0ri3nz0 Lost cus jg cried and quit lmao
 | Also almost got a penta but couldn’t get it in time so im just pissed. submitted by L0ri3nz0 to MordekaiserMains [link] [comments] |
2025.01.20 22:30 franklesby Where to donate kerosene?
On my way home today I saw a homeless man with a sign asking for kerosene. I know it's supposed to be super cold tomorrow so I went to Lowes to grab a few gallons for him but when I got back he was nowhere to be found. I'm not going to use this kerosene but I want to make sure it ends up with someone who needs it. Any advice?
submitted by franklesby to pittsburgh [link] [comments]