Word of The Hour: veziko
2025.02.02 05:01 sharewithme Word of The Hour: veziko
veziko translates to bladder
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Thank you so much for being a member of our community!
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2025.02.02 05:01 Late_Log_8342 Drafted Solutions (Cincinnati)
I recently got a job offer at the company, and I am wondering if it’s a scam or not
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2025.02.02 05:01 MisteDuuPhii agentphilip07 is the best Roblox user!
agentphilip07 is the best Roblox user!
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2025.02.02 05:01 AutoModerator Daily Discussion and Amp Information/FAQ - February 02, 2025
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2025.02.02 05:01 Blue3112ASG Purple adidas 💜
Adidas Purple
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2025.02.02 05:01 alexgoesglobal Best hair oils?
Recently tried the hair serum from Trader Joe’s and I am hooked! Are there better oils or serums that y’all recommend?
My it is gray, dry, wiry and thick. 👩🏽🦳
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2025.02.02 05:01 AlreadyBannedOnce As Terriblenode rollout gets ever closer, BEUBculters drive BSV price down so they can acquire more on T-day. World economy all set to run on 1 gigabucks in Q2. BSVBA all set to move coin confiscation operations to small claims court. nChain developers all set to rename OP_COURT to op_court.
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2025.02.02 05:01 SnooBananas372 Negative thoughts/emotions
Hey everyone! I just thought I come on here after the last three days of me having negative thoughts/emotions. It’s been weird because before those three days I was perfectly fine. Same old things I would do on a daily routine as well. Has anyone else been feeling these symptoms or just me?
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2025.02.02 05:01 sharewithme Word of The Hour: blaas
blaas translates to bladder
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2025.02.02 05:01 deannalynneirwin I cashed out with moments to spare and good thing since the Lakers finished 128-112 😅
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2025.02.02 05:01 twizzyluv [WTS] PDM Percival 4.2 oz, INITIO Paragon 90ML (bottle)
PDM Percival 4.2oz- 97% full $175 shipped, no box INITIO Paragon 90ML- 99% full $170 shipped, full presentation with box
https://imgur.com/a/B3yGumL
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2025.02.02 05:01 AutoModerator Daily Discussion Sunday 2025-02-02
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2025.02.02 05:01 sharewithme Word of The Hour: gusigen
gusigen translates to bladder
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Thank you so much for being a member of our community!
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2025.02.02 05:01 One_Entertainer2788 Can anyone help me with my chart.
 | Last few years have been tough. But things have been changing since august 2024. I feel a lot of pressure and anxiety for my life, some days feeling like maybe I am just one of those who cant handle anything about life- my caree education/ relationships/ family. I need to know if there is anything I can do to help myself at this point submitted by One_Entertainer2788 to astrologyreadings [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 05:01 AutoModerator Check In - February 02, 2025
Hi everyone! How was your day?
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2025.02.02 05:01 why_is_th1s_s0_hard NEW SETS ARE HERE :)
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2025.02.02 05:01 Rich_Ad_1642 [New Update] AITAH for being upset my girlfriend put an AirTag on my motorcycle to prove a point to her mom?
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/__sseulegi posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
3 updates - Long
Original - 20th December 2024
Update1 - 14th January 2025
Update2 - 20th January 2025
Update3 - 27th January 2025
Note: the OOP's original post that started all of this was written with a different title, but all the other posts have the same one.
Original Post:
AITAH for being upset my girlfriend put an AirTag on my motorcycle to prove a point to her mom?
I've never made a reddit post on this sub before but I read posts from here occasionally. I am going to make my submission as concise as possible but I'm not a great storyteller and this whole thing is a little more nuanced than my shitty ability to articulate it.
I'm 27M and my girlfriend is 33F.
Although our relationship started out very intense and unpredictable, we quickly developed strong feelings and have been together for 3 years. Despite being together that long.. I just met my girlfriend's parents for the first time a few weeks ago.
She is an only child and said she didn't want to introduce anyone she dated to her parents unless she knew this was the person she wanted to marry. Her parents also live abroad and due to Covid and her dad's health problems, they didn't visit her for a while, she usually went to visit them. It was a big step for her to tell me she wanted me to meet them and I did my best to make a good impression.
I was raised by my grandmother. When she passed, my older sister took over caring for me. My girlfriend has had a stable upbringing. Her parents are wealthy and she's led a privileged life. We don't have the same life experiences and it was never a problem until I met her parents. If anything, for some reason the differences between us added to our relationship in ways.
Unfortunately, I got the impression her parents were scrutinizing every aspect of my life over the dinner we had on our first meeting and this included my family. I stayed true to myself and maintained my confidence but left the interaction feeling like I bombed a test. My girlfriend reassured me they liked me.
But her mood over the few days afterward suggested otherwise. I called her out on it and pressed her for an explanation. I learned she's been upset because of a fight she had with her mother following the dinner. Her mother thinks I'm just having fun with her daughter, that I will get bored and leave her and she's too old to be wasting time with me. Apparently, her mother got this impression entirely from the way I look and this judgment about me trumps anything else I shared about myself.
My girlfriend and I decided to have me spend more time with her family over the coming holidays so I have been going over every day and involving myself in shopping trips etc with my girlfriend and her mom, hoping that she would get to know me and overcome whatever skepticism she has. I even spent hours getting a crash course in a strategy board game her dad plays and started playing with him to continue learning it as a form of bonding.
Despite feeling like I won her dad over, I felt like her mom was constantly evaluating my loyalty in subtle (unrealistic) ways. Examples include overanalyzing how I interact with others in public, reading too much into the way I smile (?) and the way I show affection toward my girlfriend.
According to my girlfriend's mom, the fact that I have a motorcycle makes me extra slutty.
And that's how this escalated.
My sister and I have an 18 year old dog. It's been a tough few months for him. I think he's approaching the end. For that reason, usually one of us is always with him. He's on the smaller side, so he's easy to bring along anywhere.
I've had to leave to give medicine to my dog at certain times of the day because he's on a schedule and I guess my girlfriend's mom found even this to be suspicious.
The other day I left my girlfriend and her family to go give my dog his medicine and on my way there my phone alerted that an AirTag was travelling with me. When I reached my place, I searched all my pockets and stuff and eventually found it on the motorcycle itself. It was connected to my girlfriend's mom's number.
I told my girlfriend and my girlfriend said she put her mom's AirTag on my bike to prove to her mom that I was not lying about where I was going.
I get that she was trying to defend me but I feel angry at her.
It's hard to articulate but ever since I met my girlfriend's family, micro aggressions by her mom are really getting to me and it's hard to separate them from my girlfriend. Hoping I'm just overstimulated by all this and things will get better after Christmas is over. I'm not sure if I'm an AH for being cold toward my girlfriend about the AirTag though.. but it's a frustration that I'm having trouble letting go of.
Comments
cataphractbeaver
The most foundational part of a relationship is the trust between two people. The fact that she didn't tell you about it sounds like she also wanted to see what you were doing, because if she trusted you she should have defended you. Parents are and have been skeptical since the first cave person brought another back to their parents. It's up to her and you to convince them otherwise. You seem to have done a lot so it may just come down to direct face to face conversations with the 3 or 4 of you to really hammer this home. Otherwise who knows what else will be done next to "test your loyalty"?
Selfpsycho
Personally, i think you need to sit her down and address that fact that this feels like she was testing you and if she can let her mother (who is always going to think like that because it seems like the person she is, after 20 years she could still be saying 'any day now'), its not going to work out. Because all it's going to take is one small comment from her mum and you are both back in a square one of your relationship. She shouldn't have to prove anything to her mum, which is why this feels like proving to herself. You can possibly work to fix things but only with discussion and both being honest and not letting others opinions get in the way.
1 month later: My girlfriend’s parents surprised me with a visit overseas.. I’m considering breaking up with her
I’m 28 M my girlfriend is 33 F.
We’ve been together for a few years and have discussed getting married. Unfortunately, ever since I met her parents last year, their behaviour (specifically her mom) has made it difficult for me to see a future anymore.
Her mom mistrusts me and it’s all based on superficial impressions and assumptions about who she thinks I am. I have tried to show her parents patience and I’ve been extremely respectful, giving them opportunities to get to know me and overcome their prejudices.
Everything came to a head when I went to visit my home country. I have a place here and I came to see a friend get married.
Her parents showed up unannounced and requested a ride from the airport. I immediately called my girlfriend despite the time difference because I was in shock. She claims she had no idea about their plans.
They claim it was all impromptu / cheap flight / last minute etc … I just don’t buy it.
Anyway I picked them up and they’re currently staying with me in my apartment. They’ve got no itinerary but want me to arrange them to see x y z and of course they need me as translator. Everything is apparently too foreign to them, they’re lost without me. They refuse to go anywhere without me as an escort.
My girlfriend is apologetic … but I just don’t see her supporting me in dealing with her parents, especially her mom, who is the instigator (the dad has no backbone / is forced to follow her).
I posted another issue a while back too..
My girlfriend doesn’t support me in setting boundaries, so as her partner I fall into a rock and a hard place type situation..
I can’t tell if I’m being cold and uninviting, or if these people are crazy and my girlfriend is so afraid of them she didn’t even warn me about something like this
I feel like I can handle anything if she’s on my side… but it doesn’t feel like she is.
Maybe I can’t be with someone like that..
Comments
Turbulent_Ebb5669
Your GF put an airtag on your motorbike last month to prove a point to her mother. I think it's time to either accept your fate or move on and enjoy some freedom.
MarbleousMel
Nd tell the parents you are in the country because your friend is getting married and your priority is your friend and anything else YOU want to do. They bought their plane tickets with a plan on relying on you for everything without asking you if that was okay. It’s not okay, and they need to leave and make their own arrangements. You are there with a purpose that does not include being their host and tour guide.
RandoJayCommando
NTA. And don’t be surprised if your girlfriend not only knew about their plan, but actively participated in it. You think it’s bad now, imagine what it will be like once you’re married to her AND her mom.
Update 2 - 6 days later
I just wanted to clarify some things.
I only met my girlfriend's parents for the first time late November 2024.
The reason I picked them up from the airport instead of abandoning them or telling them to go find a hotel etc, was out of respect for my girlfriend and the relationship I want(ed) to have with her (and her parents).
After the first meeting I had with her parents (in late November that I shared in my first post), I confronted my girlfriend. She apologized and eventually her mother did too. Basically, I thought we were past whatever suspicions and mistrust her mother had about me.
Then this happened.
In the last few days, since this began, I have realized some things about my relationship. My girlfriend has been trying to play both sides. She'll tell me one thing and her parents another thing.
She's been hiding some deep trust issues about me and insecurities about our relationship.. mostly her fears about me being unfaithful (I want to be clear that these fears are not because of anything that i've done, it's just how she feels).
She used her parents to convince me it wasn't her craziness.. and I am pretty sure she told her mom how she felt and her mom was willing to be in on it.
I broke up with my girlfriend and asked her parents to leave.
The friend's wedding I went to hit different because of that... But it also made me realize how unhealthy and toxic my relationship was.
I haven't disclosed a lot... but I think I was in an abusive relationship. I am still struggling to accept... that? And there is some shame creeping up that I don't understand... why is it there?
Anyway. Thanks for all the messages. Sorry my writing skills aren't that great. I'm so drained from this situation, I feel like I need to sleep for a month. I don't even feel like writing about any of this but I felt I owed you the conclusion.
Comments
Kragg_hack
To be honest, it might have been for the best that they showed up and made you realise how bad your relationship was for you.
Now you will not waste any more time in a relationship that is not good. So the pain is big now, but the future will become better.
Hopelnk
yeah exactly sometimes it takes something drastic to open your eyes to what’s really going on..
russtyy_shackleford
I’m sorry this happened. That is actually insane that her parents showed up and expected you to play tour guide with zero warning. You’ve done the right thing getting out of that
DesireMyFire
Sounds like that trip was her parents checking up on him for her because of her insecurities. Glad he bailed on that shit.
Update 3 - 8 days later:
To those who were worried my ex-girlfriend would trash my place, nothing like that happened.
I talked to her in person. She said I was misunderstanding everything. She began to cry, which was difficult for me. There was a moment where I wanted to forget all of it so I could hug her. I held back because something felt different.
She asked me if I hate her. Obviously, I don't. I said I am tired of feeling like the person I love is not who I thought they were. Ever since she introduced me to her parents (and close friends circle, which I didn't talk about) I have seen a side of her I don't recognize.
After meeting her parents for the first time and the strange behavior started to add up, I gave her an opportunity to come clean. I asked her to tell me everything. I told her I can't help you if you leave me in the dark. I even warned her if I find out later, it's over. Because of the way she chose to answer me during this conversation... every action I took, I held back.
All she had to do was tell me what was going on. I would have helped her take on everything. Instead, she chose to trick me in cruel ways while acting helpless and innocent when I questioned her about it. I shielded her all this time. She manipulated everyone around her, including me.
Everything is confusing now. I look back at all of our time together and feel crazy. I can't differentiate anymore... her true feelings about anything.
She tried to explain the stress of pleasing her friends and family made her act this way but she doesn't share their views or doubts about me. She said she's never loved anyone the way she loves me and her feelings scare her. I wish she would just admit she had too much fucking pride.
I understand she is the way she is probably due to how she was raised. But some of the things she has said and done are unforgivable. The conversation went on but everything was still other people's fault. She wasn't taking any accountability.
So I stood by my decision (to stay broken up).
To be honest.. by hesitating for even that singular moment when I wanted to hold her, she showed me the side of her that comes out when she doesn't get her way. For the first time, I felt like what I was seeing is actually her true self.
We were having this conversation while walking outside. We had stopped walking and she was wiping her tears. When she realized I wasn't going to comfort her, she started to say degrading things about me. She also brought it up again that my life is easier than hers because I grew up with no parents. This comment was so fucked up it made me laugh. I told her she's so privileged she has no idea what it even means to have a hard life.
Because I laughed, I could tell she wanted to throw her coffee at me (she didn't). Instead, she said some more things about me and I realized I don't care anymore because I don't even recognize this woman who is yapping in front of me.
Since then, she has emailed me an excel spreadsheet of all the money I owe. The things she has itemized are things like ... all the times she upgraded me on a flight, luxury gifts she has bought me on birthdays, Christmas etc. She also included ridiculous things like estimated cost of gas x amount of times when she was my designated driver. And pregnancy tests ( I think she added this just to mess with me). I'm not going to bother explaining my contributions. This email made me sick.
I packed her things that were in my apartment.
I had a friend come over when she came to collect them. She didn't know this. I answered the door and she pushed against me and tried to initiate. I didn't return her advance and she got angry and scratched me. I think maybe she was trying to slap me but couldn't reach. I'm not really sure because it happened too fast and I restrained her.
My friend came out and began calling her on it. He made a show of taking a video and threatened her with assault. I think it embarrassed her so she probably won't do something like this again. The only downside to his presence was.. I think she will try to convince herself I rejected her in that moment because he was there.
For people asking about my dog. He's happy and comfortable (and still alive). He eats well unlike his age. My priorities are to improve the quality of his life, not unnecessarily prolong it. But every night I check on him before I fall asleep. And every morning I wake up with this feeling of dread. He has Cushing's disease and chronic pancreatitis. He is high risk for developing cancer. The medication routine is a bit complex but I am learning everything l can for him. Take care of your pets and check them often for lumps. A lot of animals hide their pain. I guess we have that in common. Ah... maybe I shouldn't have ended the post like this.
Anyway. I'm really okay. I posted this 'update' because I got a lot of messages and it's easier than answering them separately.
In case I don't feel like answering comments, I will just leave this here:
There is a lot I haven't shared. There is a lot I haven't even admit to my self yet. I am not saying I am perfect. It's not about being right or wrong anymore. I have a lot of flaws too. I'm sure I handled some things poorly. And I know I was a fool.
I.. also still experience moments where my heart aches and I question if I’m wrong about everything, wanting to just get back together. Hopefully this will get easier with time. Anyway. Writing here counts as therapy right?
I'm going to go drink a cold beer in the shower.
Comments:
ultureImpossible725
Um… those are gifts, you dont owe her money.
OOP: I won’t be paying her. She’s just playing games(and then everyone wanted to pet the OOP on the head).
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
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2025.02.02 05:01 Just_A_Rand0m_Human What’s the best way to give geckos baths?
I’ve had my little dude for a while now but I’ve never really given him baths. He usually sheds pretty easy, I’ve never noticed him having any trouble. So I’ve never given him baths.
However, he seems to have a decent amount of shed stuck to most of his toes right now, so I figured it’s probably a good idea to give him a good soak. What’s the best way to do it efficiently without stressing him out?
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2025.02.02 05:01 BigThayr0n Bem vindos!
Seja bem vindo a comunidade brasileira de inteligência artificial.
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2025.02.02 05:01 sad_salt1 Feb 1st Sunset @Sampaloc Lake
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2025.02.02 05:01 AccomplishedPace680 I feel so incompetent and inadequate, that no matter what I try to do, there's always failure. Even when I commit to improving, it's like I'm going nowhere but the same direction. It makes me go insane every time.
Have any of you felt this way? Or am I the only thing here on this world who thinks like this. I view my life as no more than a problem after another problem, with nothing significant to it. I barely have skills to get me anywhere and not enough mental fortitude to be efficient in anything. I'm backwards in all ways that no human should be, and my mind struggles to comprehend what I'm doing. I feel like giving up is the only change I can make.
Gotten Cerebral brain damage multiple times when I was younger, and I've been having cognitive deficiency ever since, and the amount of times I've been seen as either retarded or not good enough gives me frustration and stress all the time. Maybe I am and that's ok for me, I'll be alone with nothing to offer, just a clump of cells who lost themselves in half ass attempt at being something my abilities can't meet up towards.
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2025.02.02 05:01 -63- Sunday self-care discussion
Welcome to our Sunday self-care discussion! Feel free to share your self-care wins from last week or your self-care plans for the upcoming week, along with any related challenges you're facing.
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2025.02.02 05:01 EverythingZen19 Welcome to Talent Show!
Fun and exciting community built around the Facebook group Talent Show . All weekly, quarterly, and annual shows will be judged by the group members on Sundays from 12am to 9pm EST. Don't forget to cast your vote!
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2025.02.02 05:01 sharewithme Word of The Hour: 尿泡、膀胱
尿泡、膀胱 translates to bladder
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Thank you so much for being a member of our community!
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2025.02.02 05:01 princephotogenic Elephants from the Senate!
After so many years, I got something that I think might come useful. I'll unleash this beast that the SPQR bestowed onto me... back on them when the civil war 😂😂
Just in case anyone is wondering, i'm playing as the Julii.
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