WIBTA for reaching out to my friend after years of no contact because of my husbands inappropriate behaviour?
2024.11.24 23:51 Active-Size-4997 WIBTA for reaching out to my friend after years of no contact because of my husbands inappropriate behaviour?
Throwaway account. This is a long one. I [40F] once had a really good friend [35F] I’ll call her Sally for the story. Sally and I met through our children going to the same school and we hit it off. Sally would often come over after school drop off and we’d have a coffee at my house and she’d help me clean up the house as it’s something I struggle with sometimes.
My husband [34] and I like to have a drink at the weekends at the house and normally invite people over. We started inviting Sally and it was that way for years. She had a really traumatic upbringing and had no family (apart from her children) so my family took her in. We all treated her like family. In her own life she was successful and worked from home. Everybody was obsessed with her.
I will admit I have my insecurities surrounding the way my husband and I met (he cheated to get with me) so I’m quite strict that he is fully open with me (including his phone and sharing social media etc). He doesn’t have any hobbies or go out with anyone unless I’m with him too. This is relevant later.
I absolutely loved Sally, she would bend over backwards to help us wherever she could, including help with our little one. After about a year my husband started trying to flirt with her. She is 5’10 and absolutely stunning. This made me so angry. Sally made it quite clear she wasn’t interested and it was making her uncomfortable. A lot of the people that were around her at the time behaved in a similar way to her so I suppose she was used to it.
Fast forward a couple of years and Sally comes over for her morning coffee. I start crying and tell her that my husband and I were arguing the night before and he tells me (his wife!) that he is in love with Sally. She is so taken aback by it and says maybe it’s best if we only hang out together away from my house. I don’t really like going out anywhere if I’m honest so it isn’t really an option.
She then says she doesn’t think he loves her, he just doesn’t have any friends so he’s stuck to her which makes me really angry. Then she says at least it’s her and not somebody else because I know nothing will ever happen between him and her.
I was in such a bad situation. I was angry at my husband, but I loved my friend too. I don’t work so I’m wholly dependant on my husband. I had asked him that out of anybody why did it have to be Sally and he said “it just is”.
To my shame, I decided Sally had to go as I had my family to think about. I told my parents (who adored Sally) that she had been making me feel bad about myself and thought she was after my husband. They cut her off quite quickly and told her why. Everybody fell out with Sally pretty much including most of our mutual friends. She moved away. People would ask me if it was true and I didn’t say they were, but didn’t deny it either. I was in a desperate situation.
This led to a huge fight between Sally and I. She asked me when had she ever been anything but nice to me. I told her I couldn’t remember but that she had. She stopped speaking to me and we stopped being friends. There were a few nasty messages where she said I treat my husband like a prisoner and if I let him go out other than to work then he wouldn’t “fall in love” with other people. She also told me to stop being toxic and to get a job which made me so angry.
She said she knew it was because of my husband apparently “falling in love” with her which is why I was behaving that way and she’d have respected me more if I just asked her to stop coming round rather than making up lies.
I later received a message on my birthday off her and my husband received a happy birthday off her on his birthday. He didn’t tell me this so I texted her to stay away from my husband then blocked her on his phone. We had a huge row after and the rows have continued over the years even with her not around. It’s like her memory is haunting us. I blocked her from my life. This was a few years ago now and I miss her but I’m still angry. We don’t have many friends left and the ones we do were nothing like her.
It’s got me thinking recently because I spoke to one of our mutual friends who said Sally has become hugely successful. I’d love to reach out to her and apologise for my behaviour, but I’m worried my husband would fall in love with her again especially now she’s successful too. I’m struggling a lot right now with my children being difficult and I just know she’d know all the right things to try. I miss the friendship. It’s times like this you realise what you lost. I know I haven’t been a good friend.
Wibta to reach out to her after all that’s happened?
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2024.11.24 23:51 Asriel8383 Can I still become a vet?
I want to work in the veterinary field, either as a veterinarian or a vet nurse(even though the pay isn't great). The issue is, I'm not the greatest at math or chemistry. I'm able to read things and I'm okay at calculating when I have formulas, but I have issues in the more advanced areas. Am I still able to become a veterinarian despite not being great at those things?
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2024.11.24 23:51 Acceptable-Emu-993 sigan plss
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2024.11.24 23:51 omahaomw Why not la instead of le?
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2024.11.24 23:51 h-s-0a Possible workplace discrimination, not sure
Hello, I work in England and been with my current employer for about 8yrs now.
I’m the only person who is of a different colour and there have been a couple of incidents which to me seem discriminatory, but looking for advice.
First incident: We write software, and we had a system which needed to read files off another server. Did the implementation, requested for system to have read access to the server, request was blocked by three people citing security concerns and things remained that way for 2yrs and the feature never went live. 2yrs later another colleague for a different feature requests not only read but also write (in security terms “write” is more dangerous than “read”), same system, same server, access is immediately provided. I raise this with the manager, the manager chuckles and replies, that he feels it’s a bit absurd and says let’s assign the original work to another employee (a new starter but not same colour as me) and let’s see if it gets blocked, and you wouldn’t believe it, no questions asked, exact same request as was put in by me got approved by the very same people in minutes. Felt like artificial barriers were placed especially with regards to how quickly (within a few minutes) access was provided for the other employees and no questions were asked. I was quizzed, had to explain things in several mails, re-explain and was shot down.
Second incident: Doing a big implementation and as part of it added two additional people, one significantly junior and one who had been in the company much longer than me and more experienced than me but now also junior to me.
The senior of the two got the junior employee removed from the project, which I only found out about by mistake when I noticed the junior employee working on other things. Then unknown to me, I was the only one who got dropped out of meetings, whilst the junior employee who was removed, actually still remained on the meetings. They must have had several such meetings where I was the only one missing, but after 3 such meetings, when they weren’t able to make progress they had to reach out to me and each time I asked why I wasn’t included and each time the reply was that they made a mistake or were not sure how that happened. It was a bit humiliating to publicly ask each time why I wasn’t included and it again it seemed like artificial barriers and to let me know passive aggressively that you aren’t being included.
Additional context is that all the employees doing this sort of stuff had been in the company for several years before me but in the short time that I had been there, I had already established myself and moved on to a much higher pay and grade than them, feels like it was rooted in jealously and if barriers could be put they were and in a very targeted manner, which no one else experienced.
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2024.11.24 23:51 unintentionalfat Advice on how to keep the jacket collar up
I have a suede jacket with sherpa lining that I wear during the winter. The collar defaults to a folded/laid-down position, but I would like to keep it in an upright position to protect my neck against the wind. It kinda stays up, but not for long.
Is there a device I can use or a modification I can make to assist with this?
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2024.11.24 23:51 sam10070 Resident Evil 2 | Leon Scenario B | Welcome to Raccoon City
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2024.11.24 23:51 Psuenix The first visual bug in my play through of Brothership
 | Mario’s just really likes the heat submitted by Psuenix to marioandluigi [link] [comments] |
2024.11.24 23:51 Jumpy-Strategy-5385 Dec 2024 SUV Recommendation
Planning to purchase a Hybrid or PHEV before the end of the year. I commute approximately 70 miles round-trip daily.
What key factors should I evaluate when deciding between a Hybrid and a PHEV?
Do any vehicles in this category currently qualify for tax credits?
I've been considering the Kia Sportage and Sorento. How well does Kia hold its resale value over a 3-5 years?
Would it be a smarter choice to stick with Toyota or Honda if resale value is a primary concern?
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2024.11.24 23:51 myrden Oyster tree in the swamp behind my house
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2024.11.24 23:51 geekyplug Trafft Lifetime Promo 2024
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2024.11.24 23:51 BruhMoment_ngl Beat Sekiro + 100%
Don't know how this sub feels abt trophy hunting but I just beat sekiro and got the platinum and I gotta say, this game is amazing. Top 3 in all soulsborne games for me. The combat of course is the star of the show, it's so fluid and aggressive and satisfying, plus the bosses which are so unique and some of the best in the series. Also if anyone cares here's how many tries I took on each boss in my first playthrough:
Lady Butterfly - 15-20 *lost count Gyoubu - 1 Genichiro - 15-20 *lost count too lol Guardian Ape - 1 Guardian Ape Twins - 2 Folding Screen Monkeys - 1 (ofc) Shinobi Owl - 3 Father Owl - 6 (love this fight) Corrupt Monk Fake - 1/Real - 3 Divine Dragon - 1 (ofc) Demon of Hatred - 9 Saint Isshin - 6 Isshin - 9 *2nd playthrough shura ending
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2024.11.24 23:51 HebrewHamJelly Sick, broke and pantry empty.
I just came down with covid and with this new job i have, they pay bi weekly so its a struggle getting used to it and not having that extra money makes it really difficult. if somebody could spare literally anything it would help.
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2024.11.24 23:51 ghosthunting97 Favorite teen character
 | Rim okumaru - blue exorcist Mob - mob pyscho Inosuke,zenitsu,and muichiro - kny Idk who the green haired guy submitted by ghosthunting97 to FavoriteCharacter [link] [comments] |
2024.11.24 23:51 Potential-Quit-2622 Japan Pasabuy for a minimal fee
 | Accepting Japan Pasabuy Meet-ups: Makati (December 4 and 5) Pampanga (December 6 onwards) submitted by Potential-Quit-2622 to phclassifieds [link] [comments] |
2024.11.24 23:51 BadParkingSituati0n Crucial legal battle over the definition of a woman is one for our bizarre times
What was once regarded as a simple statement of fact is now characterised by some as an act of aggression
It’s a seemingly simple question but it terrifies even the most experienced politicians.
Ask a cabinet secretary “what is a woman?” and he or she will break out in a sweat and then tie themselves in linguistic knots. Meanwhile, anyone with the audacity to pose the question in the first place may expect to be dismissed as a bigot by those who adhere to the creed that “trans women are women”.
On Tuesday and Wednesday, five judges at the [Supreme Court](safari-reader://www.scotsman.com/topic/supreme-court) in London will attempt to settle the matter, once and for all.
Campaign group For Women Scotland (FWS) has asked the court to provide a definitive answer to the question: “Is a person with a full gender recognition certificate [GRC], which recognises that their gender is female, a woman for the purposes of the Equality Act 2010?”
Along with others, FWS believes that biological sex is central to the protections provided under existing legislation. How, campaigners ask, can single-sex spaces - such as rape crisis centres, women’s refuges, and changing rooms - be maintained if sex can be “changed” by the simple issuing of a piece of paper?
This week’s hearings in London mark the latest stage in a battle that may seem utterly bizarre to many for whom a woman is an adult human female.
But we live in utterly bizarre times and so what was once regarded as a simple statement of fact is now characterised by some as an act of aggression, as a “gotcha” designed only to humiliate those who describe themselves as trans.
When the [Scottish Government](safari-reader://www.scotsman.com/topic/scottish-government), under the leadership of former First Minister [Nicola Sturgeon](safari-reader://www.scotsman.com/topic/nicola-sturgeon), attempted two years ago to change the Gender Recognition Act to allow trans people to self-identify into the legally-recognised sex of their choosing, ministers were adamant there would be absolutely no impact on those born female. Sturgeon dismissed those with the audacity to raise concerns as out of touch and prejudiced, while then social justice secretary [Shona Robison](safari-reader://www.scotsman.com/topic/shona-robison) insisted reform of the GRA would make no difference to biological women.
During a debate on the matter at Holyrood in December 2022, Robison told MSPs “the bill does not change public policy around the provision of single-sex spaces and services” adding she had always been clear that all organisations affected had to take account of the UK-wide Equality Act to “ensure that everyone’s rights are protected”.
The Scottish Government - in a submission to the Supreme Court - had now made either a fool or a liar of the former minister.
Despite Robison’s insistence two years ago that reform of the GRA would have no impact on existing equality legislation, lawyers acting on behalf of ministers now say the definition of the word woman includes anyone issued with a full GRC in the acquired gender of female”.
Regardless of what Sturgeon, Robison and many other senior MSPs previously stated, the Government’s position is now that reform of the GRA would have impacted on single sex spaces, after all. And that such a consequence would have been just fine.
In thrall to gender ideology, Nicola Sturgeon saw the introduction of self-ID as profoundly important but she not only failed to present a coherent argument for her position, she badly misjudged public opinion on the matter.
Most people don’t care how someone wishes to be known or how they wish to dress but that live-and-let-live approach does not, for the majority, stretch to the belief that those born male should be permitted into spaces from which men are excluded for very good reasons.
I suspect First Minister [John Swinney](safari-reader://www.scotsman.com/topic/john-swinney) would very much like this matter to go away. Reform of the GRA was Sturgeon’s obsession. And that didn’t end well for her.
Shortly after then Scottish Secretary Alister Jack blocked Holyrood’s gender reforms on the grounds that they would negatively impact on the Equality Act, Sturgeon stepped down as FM.
Since then, the Scottish Government has gone rather cold on the matter.
If the Supreme Court rules that, no, a gender recognition certificate does not mean that someone’s sex changes in the eyes of the law then Swinney has a get out of jail free card. He can walk away from this issue and concentrate on other matters.
If, on the other hand, the judges side with the Scottish Government, the First Minister will come under renewed pressure from some colleagues and battalions of trans-rights activists to push forward with new legislation.
Earlier this year, Swinney stated his belief that there are only two genders. This attempt to clear things up was rather undermined by the fact that, when he was deputy FM under Sturgeon, he was fully signed up to reform of the GRA.
I can’t be alone in thinking it weird that the Scottish Government is about to argue in the Supreme Court in favour of a position that the First Minister does not appear to hold.
Those in favour of reforming the Gender Recognition Act wish us to see those who oppose it as cynical participants in a “culture war”, motivated by prejudice rather than genuine concern about the implications of allowing self-ID.
But the vast majority of voters aren’t buying that story.
Rather, as polls show, most people think single-sex spaces should be maintained for those born female.
If the Supreme Court rules that a man can become a woman because he declares it to be so - and vice versa - then the sex-based protections provided by the Equality Act will become meaningless.
After all, how does one protect - or even begin to consider - the rights of women if to be a woman is nothing more than a feeling?
source: https://www.scotsman.com/news/opinion/columnists/crucial-legal-battle-over-the-definition-of-a-woman-is-one-for-our-bizarre-times-euan-mccolm-4880056
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2024.11.24 23:51 allyin1derland Anyone know what this might be?
 | Found in north central Florida, less than 6 inches deep in my yard. There’s a lot of similar rocks around here, but I’ve only ever found them with the ridged shell fossils on them (nothing like this). submitted by allyin1derland to fossils [link] [comments] |
2024.11.24 23:51 Mr_JonathanDelfalco The problem of the new guard model and ideas to fix it
New facility guard model is the most criticised human model and its not just because it is different from the old one. In the game guards are greate danger to class d and the looks should show it while also making scientists feel safer. The new model doesn't give that vibe, they dont even look like they would hold an smg while working. He looks too friendly while also not looking like a professionalist that foundation would hire. He also looks generic compered to other new human models because he has no characteristic accesories, and his blue jeans are destroing the color palet that is associated with this class.
To fix it we need to make guards look more equiped while still keeping them in light armor and without helmet, changing the colors to darker one also can make them look more professional. More equipment will make guards look more characteristic and diffrent from other classes. These changes can be made without doing a lot of work.
These concepts i made for this post all have darker colors to make them look more proffesional and are wearing fingerless gloves to make them look more combat ready. The first concept wears balanclava that makes guards look more treatning and dangerous for class d. The problem is that i would waste the work that was put into making his face. The second concept has ear piece that makes him much more proffesional and makes foundation also look more proffesional. The third concept is the closest to the orginal new model and has zero head accesories.
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2024.11.24 23:51 Few_Pear_9051 Wydoi ktos szybko proszę
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2024.11.24 23:51 shizunitis Spelling out “erm” online.
Stop doing that. Please. I will read anything following that “erm” with the cadence and tone of an annoying, ratty teenager who doesn’t realise how unfunny and uninteresting they really are.
Just say what you want to say and go. No one even says “erm”. It’s either “uhm” or some iteration of it. Closest you can get is that Australian “no”. Is that it? Is that what you’re trying to evoke in me when I read your “erm”? Almost Australia?
“Erm.” Elmo’s stupid younger brother. Write normally.
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2024.11.24 23:51 JettDoubleCheekedUp My 1986 Toyota Pickup is Japan Made??
I am rebuilding my 1986 toyota pickup as its been in my family for over 20 years and I will be honest I am not a "Car Guy". Im doing this for many reasons but tbh its whatever, this is reddit, who cares. What I am wondering and what made me want to post is this. I was in the engine bay and noticed something right off the bat. As i have been doing my research on where to buy the best 22re engine I came over the fact that none of these lovely engines seem to be JDM or Japan made. Yet on the engine bay of my 86 it states very clearly the vin number. The letter "J" is the very first letter. So does this mean my engine is also JDM? Or what does this mean? Car guys of reddit explainnnn!!!
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2024.11.24 23:51 Substantial-Total390 You know ur cooked when even duolingo is done with ur sh!t
 | I never wouldve tought having duolingo and IAmSober widgets close to each other would've turned back on me submitted by Substantial-Total390 to selfharm_memes [link] [comments] |
2024.11.24 23:51 PictureLatter1098 Don't worry about this tiny, half-blind, and low on T fighter who's also a full time doctor
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2024.11.24 23:51 Redemptionmes Anyone interested in making $150 by helping me get a night shift job?
I thought this sub would be a good place to post this. Can be anywhere within 50 miles of New York City, I have a car. I am looking for overnight shifts, minimum 20 hours weekly, preferably 30 or 40. I would prefer something like a front desk agent job, similar to something at a hotel/apartment building. Open to other positions as well, I have prior experience with building front desk security and patroling. If you can help me get hired directly(you are ownemanager) or indirectly(referral within your company), I will pay you $150 straight away as soon as I am hired. Send me a chat or direct message. Have a great thanksgiving!!
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2024.11.24 23:51 FrenzyKnight_ Black Myth: Wukong - Fast as Wind + Qiuck as Fire Boss Fight (No Commentary) Blind Gameplay Part 65
 | Hey guys, check out my Black Myth: Wukong gameplay link and tell me what you think in Youtube comment 🎮 and if you enjoy the video, don't forget to like, share and subscribe 😊 submitted by FrenzyKnight_ to newtuber [link] [comments] |