Childfree 40 something debating having a kid
2024.11.25 04:51 knittingpitbull Childfree 40 something debating having a kid
Hello, I'm (40F) all of a sudden thinking about having a baby. My husband (40M) and I have been married 15 years, together for 23. I have been strongly childfree this whole time, my whole life. I don't hate kids, but I don't particularly enjoy them as a rule.
When we've spoken about kids in the past, he's made it clear that he would like a kid but knew I was pretty sure when we married that I didn't want any, and that he wanted to be married to me without kids vs marrying someone else. I'm fairly confident if I tell him I want to try this route, he'll be over the moon.
But once I open that door, I know if I change my mind, it would be damaging to our relationship so I want to feel sure about it before bringing it up.
We don't have much of a 'village'. Our parents are in their upper 70s with a myriad of health issues. My sister has a lot of mental health issues. Our extended families live on the other side of the state or in distant states.
Things that also might affect this decision:
- I do have fibromyalgia and depression, but both are well managed with medication
- I was raised by a mother with a chronic illness (lupus in her case) and it was often hard for all of us to handle
- Our parents had both of us on the older side, my mom was 36 and my husband's mom was 38, so we fully grasp dealing with aging parents at a younger age
- We are hay farmers and cattle ranchers on our own farm, so sometimes it's very long hours of work, so I'm worried about the possibility of all child care being put on me and stressing my mental health, even though I think my husband will be a very hands on good dad
I'm seeking opinions and any advice. Maybe my biological clock is waking up after all this time?? Thank you for anything!
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