How the Danganronpa characters are spending thanksgiving
2024.11.29 00:37 ILoveHiyoko How the Danganronpa characters are spending thanksgiving
 | submitted by ILoveHiyoko to DanganronpaMemes [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 Present_Fill_3358 Please fix my hair
 | https://preview.redd.it/r4c6cagvkq3e1.jpg?width=2304&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20974082508ef9e64bc8490c9049a84df706fe9e submitted by Present_Fill_3358 to PhotoshopRequest [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 PerformerWide7429 I was tryna load up trading paints and it stop working?
 | Can somone help? submitted by PerformerWide7429 to iRacing [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 TwoFit3921 You know it's soy over when zoomers start using hl2 assets as skibidi toilet assets
 | This guy is literally Hitler for using Half-Life assets for his animations. How DARE he make something new from the old, sacred grail of this beloved franchise. I'm shaking in rage right now, I can't believe he would have the audacity to bring these MINORS into a dark and griddy franchise for us adults submitted by TwoFit3921 to HalfLife [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 Pizzatron30o0 What is this?
This post contains content not supported on old Reddit. Click here to view the full post
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2024.11.29 00:37 bot_neen 'El más grande temor aquí es la separación de familias': periodista Víctor Hugo
 | submitted by bot_neen to Mexico_Videos [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 LegitSkin Every scene with Werner Von Brauhn feels like this
 | submitted by LegitSkin to ForAllMankindTV [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 YanniRotten 1951 promotional artwork by the Walt Disney Co.
 | submitted by YanniRotten to ImaginaryDwarves [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 Winter-Competition86 How would you rank these 3 teams according to their power? I don't know much about tybw, so I was curious about your opinions.
 | submitted by Winter-Competition86 to BleachPowerScaling [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 AgreeableButOnlyThat Rejected calendar look
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2024.11.29 00:37 Dr-Toad67 Daily Jake #70
 | Kitchen 🧑🍳 submitted by Dr-Toad67 to JacobHamilton [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 _BrewUp Survival Sub Question
Is there a survival subreddit?
Genuine question.
Played since 2016, never completed the storyline (got as far as shooting Sean in the face) but wondered if there’s a Survival Subreddit that I’m missing
submitted by _BrewUp to fo4 [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 Loneranger1821 Roxx!! Did you test drive the vehicle? What’s your opinion?
 | submitted by Loneranger1821 to AutomobileRO [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 fffggg69420 7/11 must try's
Any recommendations on snacks, drinks, food, inhalers etc that I should try in my 2 weeks in Thailand. Will be in Bangkok, Pattaya and Chiang Mai
submitted by fffggg69420 to ThailandTourism [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 MapSorry728 Lol wtf 1 yard
submitted by MapSorry728 to fanduel [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 Kamalas_Liver HORRIFYING ENCOUNTER! - Attacked By a Huge, Gay, Horny Sasquatch
As you know, I have a crazed, 18’ tall, horny homosexual Bigfoot that has followed me home and is staking out my house, looking to bone me against my will. I brought uncle Roy home with me from a family Thanksgiving gathering so he could help me slaughter the beast. Round one has come and gone, with the Sasquatch still alive (though there were 2 fatalities, but we will not dwell on them).
Roy saw the massive creature and thought that we may need some help. So he called a couple of folks he knows to round up some guns and come down. One of them is an Iraqi War vet with substantial skill and grit. His name is Skull Crusher. The other one is a nefarious loner known only as Johnny Murder. Once the reinforcements arrive, we will devise a plan for killing the tormenting monster.
At noon the next day the cavalry arrived. Skull Crusher (he asked to be referred to as “SC”) arrived in a surplus Hummer painted desert camo. Johnny Murder arrived on an old, straight-piped Harley Dyna. He asked to be called “Murder”. I have to say that both SC and Murder looked like a couple of bad hombres.
SC wore fatigue pants and a camo wife-beater top. He was covered in patriotic tats and obviously works out a lot given how huge he is. I made the mistake of commenting on his build, then asking about his workout routine. SC said “Hell, I got nothing else to do all day besides sitting there and waiting for my parole hearing.” I asked when he was released from prison. He said that his parole hearing is scheduled for next year, but that when Murder told him what was up with this Sasquatch, he had Murder arrange for an “early release”, then he laughed. Then SC said “Don’t worry, though. As far as the marshals know, I am heading up to Wisconsin to settle an old score with my ex-Wife. They got no idea that I am in Georgia.”
Then Murder walked up. He is tall and lean and wearing a long, black trench coat with the sign of Baphomet sewn into the back of his coat. He has long, black hair and his finger nails are painted black. I attempted to be cordial to my guest, saying “Hey, Murder, I want you to know that I appreciate you getting SC out of jail to help out on this job. Murder turned and looked at me, then paused for an awkwardly long moment. Finally, Murder said “I am Satan, and I am here to do the Devil’s work.” Then he continued unpacking the saddlebags on his bike.
I decided to have a word with Roy. I found him in my recliner, drinking some of my top shelf, 18 year old, single malt scotch straight from the bottle, and watching The Weather Channel on my TV. When Roy saw me he said “Boy, look at that thar hot blond weather bunny on the TV! Have you ever seen sech a hot piece of ass? I’d stick my cock so far up her pussy that it would come out her mouth! A simultaneous fuckin and a blow job in one!! Heh heh heh...”
I said “Roy, the guys are here. I met them. SC was in prison, and Murder busted him out to come here. Oh, and Murder thinks he is Satan.” Roy just kept watching the weather bunnies jiggle on TV and said “uh huh, yeah”.
The television cut to commercials and Roy directed his attention to me. He said, “Look Son, we all make mistakes, even you do. So what if Skull Crusher got into a little scrape-up in a dive bar? He’s a good guy, I knowed his pappy. They is good people. He sure as hell did not kill anyone, at least not there.”
I asked Roy what the story is on Johnny Murder. Roy casualty said “Old Johnny is a Satanist, through and through. He ain’t one of them faggot Anton Lavey, Church of Satan, Satanists either. He is the real deal. Hell, I once seen him conjure up old Lucifuge hisself right in his living room. It was some right wild shit.”
Flustered, I said “Roy ... what the fuck?!? These 2 guys are trainwrecks! An escaped convict and a weird Satanist?!? How in the hell are THEY going to help us kill Bigfoot?!?”
Roy appeared to be growing impatient with me. He glared at me. Then he raised his right hand and pointed at me as he said “Those boys are exactly what we need. They is exactly what YOU need right now. Those fellers are distributors fer the meth I cook up and sell fer a pretty penny. They is loyal to me and will do whatever I tell them to do!” I pays ‘em damn well and I take care of ‘em. Jest trust me, son. Trust that yer old uncle Roy knows what he’s a’doin’.”
I responded, “Ok, Roy. You know I trust you and your judgment. If you think we need these particular guys, then I am all in with ya.” Roy nodded curtly in approval, then told me to call the boys into the house for a sit-down meeting.
The four of us sat around my kitchen table. Roy did most of the talking. He started out by thanking Skull Crusher and Murder for coming. He said “Fellers, this here be my nephew. Like his old Uncle Roy, Bud likes to dabble in Bigfooting. During the course of said dabbling, Bud here inadvertently turned on a huge gay Bigfoot that is aching to rape him with a massive hairy woody. Now, I dun seen this here critter’s pecker, mind ya. No man could survive a thumpin’ from this beast. His goddamn schlong is about 40” long when stiff, and big around as a paint can. So, ya see, if this homo foot gets hold of Bud, then old Bud is a goner.”
Skull Crusher spoke up. He asked “What happened to cause this animal to get so riled up?” I spoke up and said “I made a mistake. I was gifting with a clan of Sasquatch and then, I just fucked up and provoked it.”
Roy interrupted and bluntly said, “Old Bud here decided to whip out his pecker and jerk off right in the middle of the goddamn woods, then he dropped his load right smack dab in the spot where the Bigfoots had been leaving gifts fer him.”
At hearing this, Skull Crusher did a facepalm and Mr. Murder looked down as he shook his head from side to side. I tried to explain myself, but Roy shut me down, saying “Look, son, the past is the past. You dun fucked up, and now that critter is a’comin fer ya.”
Roy continued, “Ya see, my wingnut nephew here has got a problem keeping his dick in his pants. Jest last night I seen him jacking off in this here kitchen, and then watched him putting the fuck-moves on his neighbor lady. Hell, Bud’s raging labido got that poor woman kilt last night!”
Again I interjected, “No, you shooting her in the head is what got her killed.” I looked around at the others and said “Roy shot Mrs. Jenkins in the head, TWICE!!”
Roy then unloaded his side of the story, and I told mine. At the conclusion it was clear that the others believed that I was totally at fault for the Sasquatch and both homicides. Murder said “Dude, you do not try to fuck a bitch while your uncle is outside with just a couple of pistols trying to kill a dangerous animal... an animal YOU brought here!” Skull Crusher chimes in, “Bud, old Roy saved your life. It’s unfortunate that this Jenkins woman had to die but, you know, hindsight is 20/20.” Roy then repeated the last part, saying “Hindsight is 20/20.”
Obviously, I was surrounded in my own house by mental patients. But what else could I do? I decided that I better listen to them. Seeing the need to move forward, Roy said “Ok, ok, we now all know that Bud is a degenerate sex freak. But that don’t mean I want to see my kin raped to death by a gorilla. We need to devise us up a plan to murder that Bigfoot, and fast! That thing will most likely be back tonight!”
Roy continued, “Ok, now listen up, this here’s the plan. That big old bastard ape likes to stand just off Bud’s back patio at night, jest outa the light, and jack it while he watches Bud through the window. Tonight, we is gonna triangulate on this here Bigfoot. Johnny, you is gonna be on the roof with that .50 cal. Skull Crusher, you and me is gonna be in the trees out a bit from the patio with our fiddy cals and grenades.”
Alarmed, I spoke up. “Grenades?!? What the fuck?!? You’ll blow up my house!!!” Roy looked at me and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “You got insurance”, Roy said. I protested, saying “It won’t cover jack-shit if I am throwing grenades around my house!!”
At this point Murder stood up and said “Fuck this pussy! Let that critter rape the ungrateful bastard. C’mon, Skull, let’s get out of here.” Both Murder and Skull Crusher stood up like they were walking out. Roy held up his hands and said, “Whoa now, boys. You ain’t goin nowhar. Sit yer sorry asses down.” They both complied. Then Roy turned his scorn on me.
Roy said, “Now, boy, I am jest going to say this once. I am in charge here. If’n you ain’t gonna be a team player in this here endeavor then the three of us can jest pack our shit and leave it to ya. Understand? This here house ain’t gonna do you any good if’n you dead.”
I nodded. Then Roy said “No more Bullshit! You do as I say. You hear?” I said “Yes Sir”. Roy responded “You Goddamn right, Yessir!!” Then he pulled off his hillbilly hat and hit me over the head with it.
Roy continued on with the plan. Murder, you is up on the roof top. Skull, you and I is high up in the trees with our rifles and grenades.
Skull Crusher asked how high up in the tree he had to be. Roy told him at least 30 feet up. Skull said “Goddamn, Roy! How big is this thing?” Roy told him that by his estimate this Bigfoot is around 18 feet tall. Murder and Skull looked at each other with wide eyes.
Then Skull said “Uh, Roy, we may have a problem.” Roy asked him what he meant. Skull looked a little uneasy and then sheepishly said “Uh, I’m scared of heights.” Roy paused then asked “What?”. Skull Crusher repeated that he is scared of heights.
Before our meeting I had brewed us some coffee. I had a cup. I gave Skull and Murder both cups of coffee, as well as a cup for Roy. Of course, Murder pulled out a flask of what I assumed to be liquor and spiked his and Skull’s coffee. They passed the flask to Roy. Old Roy just dumped all his coffee out on my kitchen floor and dumped the remainder of the flask in his coffee cup.
Uncle Roy seemed a bit perturbed at Skull Crusher and his revelation that he is scared of heights. As Roy started shaking his head and muttering “Goddamn it” under his breath, Skull said “It ain’t my fault, Roy. It’s a phobia.” That drove Roy over the edge.
Roy snatched his coffee cup and slung it at Skull Crusher. The cup shattered against Skull Crusher’s head. Then Roy stood up and flew into a rage. Skull grabbed his head in pain as blood rolled down his face. Roy started screaming at Skull Crusher, “You goddamn little f*ggot pussy!!! SCARED OF HEIGHTS?!?! You WILL be scared of heights when I put my boot up yer worthless ass. I’ll kick your ass right up that thar tree, you pathetic worm!!! NOW YOU IS GONNA MAN-UP AND SHIMMY RIGHT UP THAT GODDAMN TREE LIKE I AM OR I WILL RIP OFF THAT EMPTY HEAD OF YOURS AND SKULL FUCK YOU!!!! GOT IT?!?”
Skull Crusher sheepishly nodded yes. Roy said “Scared of heights... that’s the goddamn dumbest thang I ever dun did hear. What are you, a fairy?” Skull responded, “No sir.” Then Roy glared at Skull and called him a “cunt”.
Unfortunately, Roy was not yet done. He continued, “I’m glad I don’t pay no goddamn taxes. If’n I did then I would be right pissed to know that I wuz paying a sissy like you to go over there to Afghanistan to kick them Muslim rag-heads’ asses.”
Poor old Skull Crusher was obviously not used to being spoken to in such a manner. He then stupidly said to Roy “There ain’t no trees in Afghanistan.” Roy immediately grabbed my coffee cup to hurl at Skull Crusher. I grabbed Roy’s arm to stop him from hitting Skull again and then pleaded with Roy, “Roy! Don’t!! He said he would climb the tree. It’s ok, He’s going to do it!!”
Roy finally calmed down and composed himself. He then resumed with the plan. Roy said “OK. So Murder is on the roof, over the patio. Skull and me are in the trees, THIRTY FEET UP (Roy glared at Skull Crusher as he said this), and we are armed with our fiddy cals and throwin’ grenades.”
Roy then turned his attention to me. “Bud, you is gonna be the bait again, seein’ as how this here critter has got the hots fer ya. This here is what you is a’gonna do. You is gonna drag this here kitchen table over to those sliding winder doors so this Bigfoot will have a good view of ya. Then, you is a’gonna drop your drawers and bend over the table, with yer ass pointing to the window so the that horny Sasquatch will get hisself a ragin boner. Basically, you is gonna set yerself up like you is a wantin an ass-bangin.”
At this point I had no will to to object to anything Roy said. I just nodded yes. Roy saw my concern, but seemed to respect my compliance, so he said “Don’t worry now, son. We will be right outside.”
Roy explained that the horny Bigfoot will probably be agitated after last night’s encounter. But with my bare ass sticking up at the glass sliding doors, the creature will see it then get all distracted by its horniness, causing it to drop its guard and approach. The goal, Roy explained, was to lure it into the kill box so that the three of them on the outside of the house will each have close-range shots will their .50 cal rifles.
Roy said to me “Now, Bud, I want you wiggling that ass. Shake it. Slap it. Finger yer self. You got to get the animal turned on.” I heard snickering and looked up to see both Skull Crusher and Murder trying unsuccessfully to conceal their giggling.
Roy asked “Any questions?” We all said no. Then Roy said “One More thang. Bud, this here is fer you”, then he pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a tube of K-Y jelly, a lubricant. Both Skull Crusher and Murder started laughing hysterically. Roy said “Don’t mind these boys. If somethang goes wrong and that beast gets to ya, well, it will be best If’n you are lubed up really well.”
Night came. Roy and Skull Crusher climbed into position up their trees, and Murder was on the roof. At exactly 6:00 pm I was to enter the kitchen, do a strip tease, then assume the wanton position, bare assed and bent over the kitchen table. I figured I would lube myself up while in position, as sort of an erotic prelude used to attract the Sasquatch.
6:00 pm came and I assumed the position. I did everything Roy told me to do. I felt like a total homo, but I knew it was my job as bait. I applied the lube, seductively, shook my ass, and even did finger stuff. I felt ridiculous. I started wondering how long I would have to keep this up. It already started to feel like a fucking eternity. Frankly, it is rather uncomfortable to reach around to finger one’s own anus. But I kept at it. Wondering how long this could possibly go on, I glanced at the clock on my wall. It was 6:09 pm. Goddamn it!!
All four of us had Bluetooth headsets on so we could communicate. After a few more minutes Roy spoke to me over the head set, saying “Bud, I will tell you when I hear the Sasquatch approaching. When I give the word you start wiggling your ass and fangering yerself.” I replied, “Roy, I have already been doing it for the past 20 minutes, just like you said.” Roy said “Goddamn, Boy, you is one degenerate pervert, aren’t ya?” Then Murder chimed in and called me a “f*g”.
Shortly afterward I heard from Roy again. “He’s here, approaching from the south, approaching my position from the rear. Get to the finger-fucking, Bud. Here he comes!! Murder, Skull, you copy?” Murder and Skull checked in and were both locked and loaded.
But the beast did not approach. After several minutes Roy said “Somethang is wrong. That sumbitch took up position behind me. He is not approaching. I don’t think it can even see Bud in its position.” I asked Roy if he is sure it was our target. Roy replied, “Hell Yeah, I’m sure. I saw it’s silhouette and heard its footsteps. I can feel it’s footsteps up here in the tree, that thing is HUGE!”
For whatever reason, the animal was not approaching, and it was not even close to the kill box. Maybe it caught the boys’ scent, I am not sure.
Then Roy called me. He said, “Boy, I hate to do this, but you is gonna have to come outside. It caint see ya from its position. Turn on your porch light and come outside so it can see you. Oh, and chub up first. I want ya to come out to the patio and jack-off in the light. That will surely draw the monster into the kill box!”
I knew there was no point in objecting, so I did as Roy commanded. At this point in my life I can pretty much just will myself to produce an erection. I just hold my breath, squeeze my fists, and push. BAMMO!! There it is!!
I walked out onto the patio, which cock at full mast. I walked out into the light and put my left leg up on a chair in a kind of Captain Morgan pose, bare ass naked, and started stroking my prick. I heard Skull Crusher over my head-set say “Goddamn, Bud is hung like a horse!”
Then I decided to improvise. I started pumping my hips to thrust my wang through my hand and saying shit out loud like “Oh yeah, look at this big cock! I wish I had someone to help me handle this meat!” Roy spoke to me through my head set, saying “You is doing great Boy!! Let it all hang out!!”
I have a metal table sitting on my patio. I use it for holding my grill and smoker tools, and to set my shit on when I am sitting out there smoking cigars. I said “Look at this, big boy”, and started banging my dong on that metal table. It made a hell of a racket! If that Bigfoot had not noticed me yet, it had now. Then I started drumming the table with my boner. I was drumming the opening drum sequence from Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” with my cock when all of a sudden came this ungodly roar!
It was the Bigfoot!! The roar was deep and loud. I could feel it in my chest. It was like the roar from an African buck lion, but times 10. It was like the Sasquatch was standing right there on the patio with me, even though it was a good 100 or so yards away in the woods behind my house.
Then came the unmistakable sound of footsteps. They were fucking loud, and you could feel the earth trembling at the beast’s weight. It was coming!! A voice came over my head-set. It was Roy telling me to get back in the house. I retreated into the house, sitting down in a chair in front of my glass sliding door, cock proudly standing at attention like a flagpole. My right hand was behind my back so the approaching beast could not see that I was holding my Ruger .480 revolver.
The bastard had a clear view of me as it walked toward my house, looking out through the window I began to see trees swaying. I surmised that the trees were being pushed to the side by the approaching giant. Even in the house I could hear, and feel, it’s footsteps. I heard “FOOF! FOOF! FOOF! FOOF!!”. It was getting closer and closer. I heard Roy say “Here it comes. Hold yer fire until it gits into the kill box. I’ll give the word.”
Then I saw it. It was HUGE!!! 18’ tall is conservative. It was as big around as a pickup truck. It’s eyes glowed a fiery red, and it’s hands were are big as a La-Z-Boy recliner! And, yes, it had a hard-on. It was just as big as Roy said. It was huge, throbbing, and glowing red. In fact, you could actually SEE the pulsating caused by every heartbeat of this animal.
The monstrous ape saw me sitting there, just inside the sliding glass door, naked and hard. It stopped, then gingerly moved forward. I am scared fucking senseless at this point, waiting for the shooting to start. The monster knelt down onto my patio so that it could gaze at me through the glass. It’s fucking head was as big as a VW Bug, and it’s eyes were solid black and the size of beach balls.
The thing was as hairy as a Mexican woman, and it smelled just as bad. As it knelt down to look at me, it seemed to exhibit a certain degree of intelligence and self-awareness. Though absolutely scared stiff, I was curious. What was this animal seeing? What was it thinking. And for the love of God, why wasn’t anyone shooting?!?
Staring at the Bigfoot, something unexpected happened. It smiled at me. It was not malevolent in any way. It was a kind smile. Dare I say, it was a loving smile. Maybe this was about more than rape. Maybe this thing really did have a crush on me!
The beast then slowly brought around its right hand and held out a rose bush that appears to have been pulled out of the ground. The Sasquatch was actually giving me roses!!! I could not believe it!!! This was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for old Bud! I could not help but smile. I was flattered! I looked up into those big black eyes and looked at them through my misty eyes. The communication was unspoken: I loved the flowers and was opening my heart to this big beast.
I still do not understand exactly what happened to me in that moment. Perhaps I was influenced by infrasound produced by the animal and it’s gigantic, throbbing fuck-stick. Or maybe I was genuinely smitten. I was not myself, I can tell you that for a fact. Suddenly, my gaze turned to the monsters throbbing Member.
Then all hell broke loose! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!!! The hellish reports from those .50 BMGs were deafening!! The beast stood up immediately. It was so tall I could not really see what it was doing. I flipped the kitchen table on its side and took up a defensive position behind it, raising my pistol hand and readying for combat.
Something flies past the window and splatters onto my patio. It was Murder!! Given the amount of blood that spewed out of him he was dead. Then comes another thud. I call out for Roy on my head-set. “ROY!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!?!” Roy Shot back “Murder is dead. So is Skull Crusher.”
Then Roy asked “You got that .480 on ya, boy?” I said I did. Roy said “Well, things ain’t going so well out here. You may want to just go ahead and bow out, son.” I asked, “What?!?”. Roy said, “Just eat a bullet, son. Trust me, it will be far better than how you will die If’n this here monster gits a’holda ya.” I then hear a volley of .50 BMG gunfire from outside. I said to myself “Fuck this!”, and storm outside.
Murder’s body is cut in half and splattered all over my patio. Blood and guts are everywhere. Skull Crusher’s lifeless body is hanging upside down from a high tree limb. His safety strap got tangled around his ankle, and that is what’s holding him up in the tree. Then I see Roy, standing up on a high tree limb, like a monkey, holding his .50 cal at his hip with one arm and feeding it ammo from a belt with the other arm. He is firing like Rambo! BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM!!!!!!
The Bigfoot is swatting at Roy, but cannot quite reach him. It wants to knock over the tree so it can get to Roy, but every time it tries Roy pops it with his .50 cal. This is making the monster very agitated.
I screamed at the monster as loud as I could. It turned and saw me standing there. As soon as I had its attention I turned and dropped to my knees, as if to say “come on in”. Well, that pushed the old gay ape over the edge. It dropped to its knees, looking at me. Roy saw what was going on and stopped firing.
Then the ape made its first mistake. It puckered up its lips, closed it’s eyes, and moved in toward me. Clearly, it wanted a kiss. “How fucking pathetic is THIS?”, I thought.
It got its face right up next to mine. Then I said “Hey, bitch, look at this.” When it opened it’s eyes, I could see my reflection in its left eye. It was me pointing my .480 at the monster. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!!! I unloaded the large bore revolver into the beast’s eye!
It recoiled in horror, crying out in pain. I heard Roy on my head-set say “Bud, grenades...”, so I leapt up and fled. But just then 2 explosions let loose, close together, BAM-BAM!!! The conclusion blew me off my feet. I went flying, but landed ok. I immediately heard, through the ringing in my ears, Roy’s .50 BMG rattling off more shots.
I turned around and saw that the big old Bigfoot was blown to pieces. Half of its fucking face was gone. Roy was pumping it full of lead, with each bullet causing an explosion of blood and bloody flesh every time they struck. Nonetheless, the behemoth fought on.
Then I caught a glimpse of something. It was Mr. Murder’s .50 BMG Barrett. I pick it up and check the mag, 10 shots in the mag. I thought to myself “WTF?!? Murder never even fired his weapon!!” But I would have to reflect on this later. I sprinted into action.
As the Sasquatch has all of its focus on Roy, I sneak up behind it, positioned the rifle’s muzzle right up the thing’s asshole and pulled the trigger 3 times in quick succession. BAM! BAM! BAM!! The animal grabbed its ass with both hands and went down to its knees. It was howling in pain.
I flanked the animal and got in front of it. It was in such pain it did not even notice me. Then I take aim on the Bigfoot’s balls. BAM!! They explode like oversized watermelons. Then, just for the fuck of it, I took aim and blew off its dick. Blood spurted from the remaining stump like a fire hose!!
Now the animal was moaning and it’s eyes were rolling up in its head. I took aim and fired the remaining cartridges into the animals head. Clearly, the bullets penetrated the thick skull, as bloody brain matter was blasted out of its head every time I shot. The .50 cal absolutely shredded its brain. Then, with a loud thud, the beast fell over, deader than a Kennedy!
Roy climbed down the tree and came up running. “Goddamn it, boy!! You dun did it!!! You kilt that fuckin critter!!! I softened it up a might, but you stepped it up like a man and MURDERED that motherfucker!!! Damn, Son, that is the biggest damn Bigfoot critter I ever dun see!!” Clearly, Roy was excited.
Roy said, “Let’s git us a drank, boy! You earned it! Oh, and put on some goddamn clothes already.” As we are walking toward the house I catch sight of something. I tell Roy to go on ahead and pour me a drink, that I will be there in a moment. So he goes on ahead.
I walk over to the object I spied. As I thought, it was Skull Crusher’s BARRETT .50 BMG rifle. I released the magazine and took a look. 10 rounds were present. This means that, just like with Mr. Murder, Skull Crusher’s rifle was never fired. I carried the rifle to my back door, leaned it up against the door frame and entered my house.
I found Roy standing behind my bar in my living room, pouring drinks. He looks up with me with a smile. Then he asks “Damn, boy, you had a hard dick all this time? Jesus Christ!Cover that thang up!!”
I walked up to the bar, took my glass of scotch, and took a sip. Then I asked Roy what happened out there. Roy said, “Look, son, I ain’t gonna tell you again, go put on some pants and quit prancing around here like a f*ggot”. Roy had a point, so I went and got dressed.
When I returned, Roy was sitting by the fire sipping whiskey. He looked at me and smiled, all snaggle toothed. He said “There’s my boy!!” I picked up my scotch and sat down next to Roy.
I again asked him what happened out there. Roy said “What happent? What happent is that you dun went and killed a record Sasquatch!!” I said “NO. WHAT HAPPENED? I checked Murder’s and Skull’s rifles and no shots were fired. WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE THE ORDER TO SHOOT?!?”
Roy takes out his pipe, stuffs it, tamps it, then lights it. I know what he is doing. First, he is collecting his thoughts as he prepares his pipe. Second, he is getting ready to tell me something. I decided to let him take his time telling me.
After a couple puffs on his pipe, Roy began. “Son, sometimes we do thangs in life fer many purposes. For example, when I seen how big this sumbitch Bigfoot was, I knew I needed my old fiddy-cal shootin iron. But I left it up in Sasquatch Hollar. So I needed someone to retrieve it fer me. So I called up old Johnny Murder.”
“Johnny sed he would, but he wuz a’busy bustin old Skull Crusher outa the pokey. I told him, hell, bring him along wit ya. Nobody will think to look fer him down here in Georgia.”
“Ya see, boy, old Skull Crusher got hisself inta sum trouble. I knowed that DA wuz a’gonna dangle reduced sentence deals in front of his dumb ass if he agreed to spill his guts about my liquor and meth operations. This put old Roy in a spot.”
“Now, I doubt Skull Crusher would have turned on me, but why take a chance? So I up and ordered Johnny Murder to bust him outa prison and bring him to me. That wuz right before Thanksgiving. Then all this drama with yer Bigfoot came up. I figured, why not kill 2 birds with one rifle?”
“I got them 2 sumbitches down here under the guise of hunting down and killing this critter. I needed my fiddy, mind you. But I needed those assholes here too. I had to tie up loose ends.”
So while we wuz on point, and those 2 boys were distracted by that thar Bigfoot, I shot old Skull Crusher in the head, then I shot Johnny Murder in the head cuz he wuz a witness.”
Old Roy was smiling as he told me this, like he was really pleased with himself for what he did. I said “Goddamn, Roy, I was almost fucking killed and you were distracted by business.” Roy said “Yeah, but I wuz here fer ya, weren’t I? If’n I tweren’t out thar blasting away at that critter then you never would have been able to move in and kill it!”
Roy had a point. I said, “You were here for me Roy, and I appreciate it. I really do.” Roy nodded. I said “Well, I guess we need to get rid of a couple more bodies. You want to gut and carve up the Bigfoot for meat?” Roy said, “Hell yeah!! I’ll eat off that big thang fer the winter.” He asked if I wanted some of the meat, and I said no.
I look over at Roy and say, “I love you, Uncle Roy.” Roy looked at me and replied, “Don’t be a f*g, son.”
submitted by Kamalas_Liver to Sasquatch_Nazi [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 Im_A_Fuckin_Liar Rudy Giuliani has lost his apartment and his car. Now he’s losing his temper.
submitted by Im_A_Fuckin_Liar to WhitePeopleTwitter [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 serillymc lol dead sub
submitted by serillymc to mcytcirclejerk [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 rennistry Draper’s & Damon’s Black Friday Sales 2024
Follow this link for Draper’s & Damon’s Black Friday Sales 2024. Access the latest deals and promotions by visiting the link, featuring a constantly updated list of coupons, promo codes, and discounts.
submitted by rennistry to ArticulateOffers [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 Background-Aioli8084 Why don’t the red state people just move to the green states and make more money?
 | submitted by Background-Aioli8084 to mapporncirclejerk [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 Fit_Understanding803 045286815891. 3 local
submitted by Fit_Understanding803 to PokemonGoRaids [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 Dependent-Speed-654 What's your favorite line of coach?
 | To me it's "My grandmother can move faster than that. And she's DEAD." submitted by Dependent-Speed-654 to TeenWolf [link] [comments] |
2024.11.29 00:37 Curious_Bath2288 love it
submitted by Curious_Bath2288 to Replacements [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 lothaer Multiple Way to Escape?
Would be different if in SD2 there were multiple ways to escape or attempt to escape.
First could be similar to SD1 where you rebuild an aircraft and fly out.
Second you fix a boat and try and escape by sea only for it to break down and you get saved by a cruise ship?
Third after spending a long time on an island (really long time) a plane flies over and spots you and you get rescued.
What are some other suggestions.
submitted by lothaer to StrandedDeep2 [link] [comments]
2024.11.29 00:37 MugShots NV Energy Alert
NVEnergy Alert Under Investigation in 89146 1 customer affected ORT: 2024-11-28 16:30:14.000-07:00 ETR:
submitted by MugShots to AlertVegas [link] [comments]