32 [F4A] #Online - looking for friends
2025.01.19 04:57 lilmrsanonormoustits 32 [F4A] #Online - looking for friends
I’m currently going through a hard time in life so I’m not looking for anything serious.
Looking for new friends to have banter with and shoot the shit. I’m sad about TikTok.. are you too? 😂😅
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2025.01.19 04:57 CassianGal Told him i had to go to work
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2025.01.19 04:57 Ok_Ad_3019 Academy training
Does shoppers have to pay me for the training done on academy? Such as enhanced hygiene protocols, beauty now training and so on?? My FSM is saying I need to do it on my own time but I don’t think it’s fair that I have to considering that it’s involuntary
submitted by Ok_Ad_3019 to ShoppersDrugMart [link] [comments]
2025.01.19 04:57 Prodan1111 Memories
My mom made baby blankets for all my friends kids. It was a thing she did. We are from the Chicago area. My buddies kid went to UCLA. She sent my mom a card and a pic. It said, look who went to college? The pic was of her and her baby blanket in her dorm room. My mom called me in the morning and said, what colors are her school? I said light blue and yellow. My mom said go to Michael's and buy 15 of each and drop them off. I live in the West Loop, my mom lived in Munster. An hours drive. I did. Two weeks later I got a call that the blanket was done and I needed to get the blanket to LA. I did. The girl sent her a pic of her with her new blanket. My mom beamed. 6 years ago today was her wake. Several of those kids who got blankets were there. Ironically, the saddest and happiest day. No need to comment, just enjoy how joyous crocheting can be.
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2025.01.19 04:57 RETRY-GAMING Been using fedora for over a year now and am really excited to share to everyone that it is one of the best distro, i used ubuntu and also installed Arch ( just for flex purposes) but at the end i finally landed into fedora and really happy with how stable this , i am into KDE(customization reasons)
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2025.01.19 04:57 bandman614 I am making weather reporting channels, and made one for Polk County, TN
I live outside of Columbus, Ohio, and early last year, we had a freak tornado warning at 3am, and when I checked, I realized that nobody was live broadcasting local weather news. Columbus is a city of a million people, and I got mad about it for a week, and then I realized that, as a software developer, I have just about all of the skills needed to fix the problem.
I founded Local Weather News Network (https://www.lwnn.news/), a small company that is trying to bring more timely weather news to people.
We aren't live streaming right now, but each area that we service gets 3 videos created daily. The voice and text is AI generated, but the data that powers the information is straight from the NOAA, National Weather Service, NASA, and other trusted agencies. We aren't using AI for forecasting the weather at all - we're just using it as a presentation service.
You can find the Polk County YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@PolkCountyTennessee-LWNN/videos
Please let me know what you think, how I could improve the work, and what you'd like to see. It's definitely not perfect, but I think it's a good start.
Thanks!
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2025.01.19 04:57 CollapsingTheWave Sorry, TikTok isn't available right now... Tired of being herded around like livestock? Check out this sub if you have some free time. . .
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2025.01.19 04:57 jimmysmith69 Mega64: VINE IS DEAD
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2025.01.19 04:57 Due_Following_8194 Nose piercing diamond jewelry? Help
Any recommendations for a 1.5mm stud. Also is it okay to get a prong set diamond? I remember when my piercing was healing that I got a bump due to the jewelry and it went away when I changed it. Would it still occur if my piercing is healed now?
submitted by Due_Following_8194 to Legitpiercing [link] [comments]
2025.01.19 04:57 Fearless_Truth_1810 Using Public Domain Music & Asset Store Soundtracks in Games: How Do Players React?
I am making a game and I am still unsure whether to use a music from Unity asset store / public domain or to compose new music. What I am afraid of is that the players will get disappointed if they know that the soundtrack is not original. Is this a valid concern or do the players never care (even if they heard the same music in other games)? If anyone tried it and got some reactions from the players, I would be grateful if you share it with me.
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2025.01.19 04:57 bad_decisions_by_me discord bot on esp6288
I've made a discord bot, and I just need it hosted 24/7, The trouble is I really don't want to pay to have it cloud-hosted, and I have way to many boards lying around. any ideas?
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2025.01.19 04:57 Crazy_Chopsticks What are your guys' high scores for Metroid Dread's boss rush?
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2025.01.19 04:57 Weekly-Peach-9024 M4W looking for friends to chat with- NYS
Hi! I’m in NYS #Buffalo, NY. I’m a 36 year old swm. I love working out and staying active. I have three dogs, I enjoy spending time with them. I enjoy spots, football In particular. I’m a big Buffalo Bills fan. I have a job working full time. I keep busy with home Projects.
I’m looking to chat with a nice woman, At least 21+. Location is irrelevant , but if you’re in NY or the NorthEast that would be cool. What’s something you like to do for fun? Share a fun fact about yourself. Let’s chat and see where our conversation leads!
NY#RFR#M4W submitted by Weekly-Peach-9024 to r4r [link] [comments]
2025.01.19 04:57 jehovasmormonologist Producer Dan - Osama Rana
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2025.01.19 04:57 Rude-Administration8 Favorites 3g DMV
 | 3g favorites liquid diamond DMV ONLY submitted by Rude-Administration8 to DMVArea [link] [comments] |
2025.01.19 04:57 athensugadawg Iron Horse History in NYT
Great article...
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/18/arts/design/iron-horse-sculpture-athens-georgia.html
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2025.01.19 04:57 melinaaam MCV4U Private School
Hey so l had to drop calculus and vectors first semester due to medical problems. My guidance councillor won't let me take it second semester or night school (due to space and since I had dropped it). I'm looking to do it through private school. I was debating between Ontario Virtual School, Ontario eSecondary School, and tvo ilc. Which one should I do? I'm not strong in math but I can grasp the generally concepts. I'm also open to other schools but just did not like Blyth and am not willing to pay more than $700
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2025.01.19 04:57 ChristianNDR Cheapest way to get Space City Home Network?
These streams are trash. Anyone suggest Xfinity or Fubo? Are there any other (legal) options where I can watch from home?
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2025.01.19 04:57 Paradox174 I'm about to graduate.
I'm 23 and about to graduate with a bachelor's of electrical power engineering.
Do you have any technical or non-technical advice for me that would help me in my career?
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2025.01.19 04:57 chiguy1125 Controlling Legacy Trains
I’m looking at purchasing my first legacy diesel. Right now I’m mostly postwar and use a KW transformer. I know I can just use the KW for power and control the train via the Lionchief App. How do you guys recommend controlling Legacy locos? I may look into purchasing a formal control system. Thanks!
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2025.01.19 04:57 Adept-Werewolf-1221 Pan Pil 165 - EVASCO, EUGENE
Hi !! I am taking Pan Pil 165 Panitikang Pambata this semester. Meron bang may experience na sa course na ito and also the prof? What are your reviews? What should I expect and how should I prepare? Thank you !!
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2025.01.19 04:57 ILovePublicLibraries A newspaper front page of Hartford Courant from January 19, 1978
 | As it happened forty seven years ago today, that near-tragic event that actually was a miracle as no one was at Civic Center early that morning when the roof collapsed just six hours after fans left the building after a college basketball game the night before (Thank God that arena was empty!). The newer and improved Civic Center (now XL Center) reopened three years later. submitted by ILovePublicLibraries to Connecticut [link] [comments] |
2025.01.19 04:57 Decent_Albatross_ Chappelle on SNL
Dave Chappelle absolutely crushed this monologue. The Dawgs will enjoy this one, check it out. Basically just a new standup set and had me rolling by the middle. Classic Dave slow burn.
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2025.01.19 04:57 pheria2049 She (35F) secretly left me (36M) for someone else (19M). Screaming into the void (very long)
Yelling into the void, and it's long.
I've been really struggling with my recent break-up. We have separate rooms, which is both of our preferences, while coming back to my room from getting water in the kitchen late on Christmas Eve night (which passes by her door) I overheard her saying something about how the person she was talking to compared to previous friends with benefits. I knew she had some of these before we dated, but I didn't understand why she'd be talking to someone that would 'compare' to them now, so I did continue listening hoping to clear up that misunderstanding. I then heard they had already slept together (probably a month or two ago at the time of hearing), and recently started a relationship (Maybe a month before I heard this). I heard some details of the encounter - she initiated it. Said she liked how he looked, liked how she looked and the timing was right. Got struck with a weird vibe to ask if they wanted it. I heard a bunch of other stuff that was difficult to hear.
“I know it sounds cheesy but this relationship feels different”
“All guys feel the same to me” (I’m sure he loved hearing that)
“I feel like this isn’t what I need for my environment, but what I need deep in my soul” (Guess I’m the boring, secure environment)
Some stuff about feeling weird about the age gap (He just turned 19, she’ll be 35 soon) and deciding to just go for it anyway. “Had to be willing to give a baby a chance which was a hurdle not gonna lie”
“Gonna give it a shot and see where it goes. I knowwww it’s gonna be amazing.”
“It would be like… next sleepover. We can get some hotel room and do the thing”
I was so upset, felt like I had been cheated on and left all at once.
I confronted her about it the next day, expecting this was initiating a breakup. I said that I overheard. I was hurt, angry that she cheated on me but wished her well and to let me know what her plans were. She said she didn't consider it cheating, because she didn't think we were together because we hadn't done much or talked about it much in a while. She thought we had 'silently broken up' at some point before these and that is was mutual understanding.
We have had an unusual relationship at times, but I stand by needing clear markers of an end not some "unspoken mutual understanding" bullshit. She likes a *lot* of space, and doesn't like labels. I know this about her. But we *did* have a label which hadn’t been officially removed in this case. I give her a lot of space intentionally, because it seems to be important to her. This has been going on for a couple of years, or more. We spend a length of time apart, but periodically I express that I still have feelings, just to let her know despite the space I still love her I'm just giving her her space. Sometimes I express an interest in doing something sexual. Frequently over the past couple of years it has gotten no response at all (though the last time, in May, she did seem interested and said she'd see if she could 'pencil it in' sometime - though it ended up not happening), so I take it as her being overwhelmed (she also identifies as ace, and I’m somewhere on that spectrum too) and check back in after a couple of months.
[history - where does all the ‘she needs a lot of space’ come from?]
We started dating 6.5 years ago. After about a year, she freaked out when we were about to move in together. She ghosted me. She removed me on social media, removed all photos of the two of us, and wouldn’t reply to any text messages. I was just suddenly abandoned and had no idea why.
Eventually, she did reply and apologize. She told me she had to process some stuff from living with her last ex (whom was toxic. Controlling, yelling, throwing stuff, etc) which flared up when we were about to move in together. She said it wasn’t me, but that she didn’t want to be with *anyone* for a while. I told her if she would eventually want to be with me, I would wait. She advised me not to, because she didn’t know how long it would take, but I said I was willing to.
We spent a year ‘apart’ but still seeing each other occasionally. I would continue to tell her my feelings sometimes, and she would still tell me she wasn’t ready. I would work up the courage to ask to take her out on Valentine’s Day and she would accept. I had a combination locking bracelet she had given me when we were dating that only she knew the code to. I continued to wear it even when we were broken up. I had lost a little weight since receiving it, and it was a bit looser on my wrist. One day she noticed while playing with it one day and said “We’ll have to get you a new one”.
I realize now this is probably just breadcrumbing, but it made my heart *leap* when she suggested it.
We started to talk about living together, despite being ‘broken up’. It seemed like not having a relationship title would make it a bit easier. (less ‘suffocating’, no ‘expectations’).
I did, however, make a few things clear to her in writing (I know because I went back and referenced the email). I told her I still had feelings for her, and understood we were moving in with no title. I expressed that obviously I can’t stop her from doing something intimate with someone else and it would not be ‘wrong’, but if she did that I would like to know because I considered that a personal boundary / breaking point. I would stop waiting at that point.
She moved in, a year goes by.
I start to consider moving on, myself. The uncertainty of not having a defined relationship was really wearing on me. I think I saw something on her social media stuff about ‘being single forever’, and in a bit of “cry for attention drama” I removed the bracelet. I told her, and was sad when I did- and said I was having a hard time with it. Her response was very cold. Just that it was mine, I could do what I wanted with it, it didn’t matter to her at all. I took this to mean a relationship would never exist. I decided to start considering dating.
I took the hard/awkward step of notifying her of this. I told her I was going to start dating. (I highlight this because in the present, I got no such similar communication. We weren’t even ‘together’ when I let her know, but in the present situation we were together and she didn’t tell me anything)
Her response was cold again. Along the lines of “Go for it”
Some time after this though, she came to me and said it was embarrassing to admit, but she didn’t like the idea of me dating and she didn’t want me to. She had been suppressing her feelings for me, but they were still there.
I mentioned I had matched with someone and was talking to them, and that I thought I would continue to. She was very upset. A few days later she stormed my door in tears and demanded I tell her to her face I was done with her. She wanted reasons. When I gave her reasons “not compatible”, “I need a little more closeness/romance and the title makes me feel secure”. She said all of these were fixable and she was willing to work on them.
So, we ended up back together with a title. She described it as feeling like I was trying to punish her, too, which was odd - she’s currently describing me asking her to move out the same way. Two points don’t necessarily make a trend, but is anyone pushing her away an ‘unfair punishment’?
[[In the present, I told her about this to describe my hurt. I told her, imagine if I hadn’t told you I was dating. I didn’t tell you I was talking to someone. I slept with someone, didn’t tell you. Started a relationship with someone else, still didn’t tell you, and then later you found out because you overheard. Imagine how much MORE that would have hurt. And we didn’t even have a label for this past story, but there was a label which was never officially removed in the present. That's what I'm dealing with]]
She still expressed a need for space. She said her ideal relationship was mostly “like roommates”. She considered herself asexual and not that interested in sex (I’m not either - I like it for the bond with a person, but the thing itself isn’t super desirable to me outside of that. I’ve only slept with two people, and both of them were very long relationships). It’s a little bit more complicated than this to explain, but to me the thing I value most in a relationship is just being each other’s exclusive, special person and the deep love/acceptance of each other’s true self.
So out of fear of losing her, mostly, I continued to give her a lot of space.
She has a tendency to ignore things, a lot. If I express my feelings or ask if she wants to something over text, there is a good chance it just doesn’t get any reply. I find it hurtful, but I would always treat it as “she’s overwhelmed, I’ll check back in a few months”.
Most notably, in May of 2024, I did this - I sent her a message letting her know I still loved her, still considered her a partner, and still had an interest in long term commitment. I also told her I had been researching anxious/avoidant pairings online, which I suspected was our dynamic. I give her space, eventually it builds up and I anxiously express it, thinking this causes her to recoil, become distant and round and round we go. I told her about it and that I was hoping to learn how to love her better, and give her the space she needed but that I still cared for her. We briefly touched on the same topics in person when we bumped into each other the living room. She thanked me for looking into it. On commitment she remarked that should 'would take it seriously' (previously I've heard her say things like "if marriage doesn't work, you just get divorced", but she clarified that's just talk and remarked that we'd pause the conversation for now. It didn't get resumed between May and her sleeping with someone (in, I think, October). In July, I sent her a text asking if she’d like to resume the talk. No reply - so as usual, I backed off and intended to try again another time. We did not have any kind of formal breakup or anything either (Also - I know *I* may not have resumed the conversation [though I did ask if she wanted to], but now I’m realizing she also could have. Not that it matters now, but I did want to resume the conversation as well. I kept putting it off because all advice is "let the avoidant come to you".) I predict I probably would have brought it up on Valentine's Day if this continued. I admit it's a long time, but we've had these long periods consistently in our relationship so I didn't think much of it (we had that ‘two year’ broken up period in the past, and she told me “We weren’t together.. But we ‘were’ - I just felt like it was in ‘stasis’” is how she told me she felt about those two years. It's long, but not *that* long considering us.
She told me she thought there was a mutual understanding, which I don’t get at all and there definitely wasn’t. How she broke up with me in the past before we got back together was ghosting, and that’s how she broke up with her ex before me - ignored him until he was fed up. I think she just avoids anything remotely awkward and expects the other person to figure it out, but it really makes me angry/hurt in this case. I had been expressing my love, she seemed receptive to it, mere months before she decided to sleep with some 19 year old she met online. It was not handled correctly and I feel extremely betrayed by it.
I told her though, that if it was a misunderstanding I could ‘forgive’ what happened more easily. I would still need to ‘get over’ and ‘process’ what happened, but I’d be willing to. I asked her if she wanted to be together.
She also told me recently she has feeling for me, but doesn't believe they are romantic. She stated she has no desire to rectify it, and at some point they faded. Ouch. I'm stuck feeling like it would've been nice to have been notified of that? Ideally before she slept with someone else, but at the very least.. Y’know, after that happened?
I feel like I'm going crazy with what happened and still can't believe it. I take an odd sense of pride in us 'working' with a strange dynamic. I know sacrificing yourself and your wants isn’t what you should do in a relationship, but I did find some satisfaction in leveraging my patience/accommodations to give her the special handling she always told me she needed. She told me several times she just wanted to be left alone to play video games and not have to deal with anyone else’s needs most weekends because she felt overwhelmed (which is a giant red flag in hindsight). I was completely shocked when she basically told me I had given her *too much* space and she was on to someone else.
I'm still in love with her, but trying to move on. It hurts daily and I still can’t believe it’s happening. She has really left me. I am someone that has been showing her love for 6 years, and feeling it even more strongly than expressed (and occasionally returning it, though admittedly it was a bit lopsided). We’ve lived together for 4, and we get along great. We both love living with the other person.
The shock is intense, I focus a lot on how we went from me saying "I love you, I still want to be with you, I know you need a lot of space, I'm still interested in long term commitment" to 6 months later she's sleeping with this internet friend she met up with. Talking about feelings herself was so awkward that it was less awkward to sleep with someone else? Ouch.
I'm stuck dwelling on my own mistakes - not resuming the conversation sooner, not reaching out more frequently (I wanted to, but I thought I was doing what was best for her by not doing it). But this is also a two person thing, right? Why didn't she reach out to me if she wasn't sure how I felt or wanted more expression from me? I’ve been reading a lot, and attending therapy for this. A healthy person will try to resolve a perceived problem with their relationship. I had been doing this, very cautiously and with large gaps. But I now realize she did nothing. She never tried to start any of these conversations herself, when she could have. An unhealthy person will ignore and go to someone else.
I'll add she is very sympathetic to my pain, and that again I do believe the misunderstanding - but I'm blaming myself too much in this when it's a two person thing, right?
I'm still hurting, and I still want to be with her at this point. I just don’t ‘get it’.
Post finding this out, she was surprised I asked her to move out too. She said moving out was not part of her trajectory, which is also shocking to me. She just planned to continue seeing/sleeping with this guy, not tell me, and keep living together. Another attempt at the feelings talk would have inevitably happened on my end, but she could just ignore it and I’d wait a few months - this could have gone on indefinitely.
She’s saying some hurtful things lately too, since I have asked to move out. I told her to take her time, and make the right move etc. I wasn’t kicking her to the curb, but being here with her still gives me hope, and knowing she’s in a relationship with someone else is stabbing me. This could continue forever unless she goes, and I need her to go. We’re both willing to be friends in the future, but there needs to be a period of nothing and space.
We initially agreed to not discuss her moving out for two weeks, to let the emotions settle before making a final decision. She broke early on this, maybe to take control back? Make it ‘her’ decision and not mine? She said “When I move out, do you want to keep my dog?” and also mentioned she had dropped her pet rats off at a small animal rescue already that morning. She accused me of ‘upheaving’ their lives just so I can ‘feel better’. Which is true, technically, but I feel like it is really trivializing just *how much* hurt I have from this. She said me asking her to move out made her feel angry, annoyed, and like she was being unfairly punished. It is, emotionally, the most painful thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I’ve lost 10 pounds in about 14 days because my stomach felt repulsed at the idea of food, my sleep is awful, I don’t do anything fun, I’m barely able to do my work. My mind’s eye keeps replaying her initiating the encounter with him unknown to me, while I’m at home taking photos of her pets I’m watching and hoping she’s having fun with her friends. It’s slowly getting better, but I just don’t know how to exist at the moment.
She told the kids they were moving out. When they asked why
She said “Because he doesn’t want us here anymore”
“Why?”
“I don’t know”
Ouch. All of that just fucking sucks.
She did ask if they would still want to come visit me and they said yes, so there is at least that.
I do not like the guy she is with either. I did some digging just to get some idea of him, (but I don’t intend to do more now that I have it). I found out he’s about 2.5 hours (drive) away. When he was under 18 (most stuff I could find was a couple of years old) he was going to parties and getting wasted/high with people in their 20’s, 40’s and bragging about showing them how to open bottles with knives. He talks poorly about women (on international women’s day on public accounts: “support women, they’re pretty cool”, but in private with his friends “We give women one day and now they start acting up, smh We can’t give them nothing” - they seem like conquests, has made jokes in poor taste “Hit kids when they’re young, so they don’t remember why they fear you”. He was always hunting for someone new to have sex with in the past, and it was usually online. He and his friends would remark that if you want to find a goth girl to sleep with, just go to these subreddits, find discords they hang out in and start talking to them/slide into DM’s etc. Sure fucking feels like that’s what happened here.
They talk about going to other cities, but only that the “ratio of hot people is really high” there about those trips.
They talk about MDMA, taking a lot of painkillers - so just substance abuse in general.
If you could make an inverse/opposite of me (even when I was 19), he is it. Casual sex, substance abuse, party animal, disrespectful. I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing: With regards to how she handled us, and I don’t know what she’s doing with him either. He is only 4 years older than her daughter for crying out loud.
She said it herself when she said “It isn’t what I need for my environment, but what I need deep in my soul” but it seems like she thought she could keep me/the ‘environment’ around and have both.
Her expenses are low here. I own the house and bought it 10 years ago, so I only take $700/month for everything (and she gets more than half the house - I have my bed, video game stuff, workout stuff, and WFH desk all crammed into one bedroom. The kids each get their own room, and there is an addition in the back that’s something ridiculous (12x30 I think) that I let her use as her room. Apartments are probably going to be 3-4x cost, for less space, less privacy, and losing all the perks of a ‘roommate’ you get along with (free pet sitting, etc)
I really do regret any hardship she incurs, but I stand by it being a need for me that she leaves so I can heal. I can’t live here loving her and overhearing when the next 2.5 hour drive to have sex (does he live with his parents, is this why they have to get a hotel?) is going to be while I pet sit for her (she does tell me now it isn’t my responsibility and I can just leave her dog in the crate the whole day, but it isn’t the dog’s fault - I’m not doing that)
I know this is super long, but I appreciate any and all moving on advice. I’m trying to focus more on the negatives, not because I despise her, but because I have ignored them for so long and I think they’re a useful mechanism to move my feelings. Namely:
She didn’t tell me anything or make any effort to talk to me, it was one-sided for a while regarding communication attempts and she messed up. It was a betrayal. Perhaps more negligent than scheming, but still a betrayal. She walks away from/ignores problems or anything mildly awkward and that isn’t okay. I also assume there is no way that relationship lasts, but I just have to let her figure that out for herself. Her having a teenage boyfriend is insane. If nothing else, people change rapidly through their 20’s. I would guess he would want different experiences or just different things in general, but maybe not. If his old habits of ‘hunting’ women online to sleep with are any indication, I think at some point he’ll grow stale of the settle and long for the hunt again. Even though she has really hurt me, I really hope he doesn’t hurt her. Moving out is a hardship, but this isn’t a ‘whim’ - it’s a result of the massive impact I’ve sustained from her mishandling of this situation. I gave her everything she ever told me she wanted, but she never told me her needs changed or that she wanted something different (and there were many opportunities). She also continued to refer to this person as a ‘friend’ around me. Her daughter was calling her a ‘predator’ for having such a young friend. She and I were talking about that one day and I said “Whatever, not like you’re sleeping with him”. I was not corrected. It really sucks that I'm the one with a broken heart and she gets a shiny new boyfriend, when my 'mistake' was 'not over-communicating enough' to overcome her communication gap.
The opinions of those close to me vary a little, but in general everyone (including my therapist) are pretty aligned that this was not okay. When I say I still love her and I regret that I feel like I ‘messed it up’ by not doing x at y time, it’s pointed out to me how long she has always kept me close, but just far enough away and kept sprinkling out breadcrumbs here and there that I happily ate up. I don’t think it was a scheme or anything, but it does start to feel in hindsight like that may have been what happened :\ When we first started dating, I remember she made a joke about how I better not trade her in for a neweyounger model in a few years. But she ended up being the one that replaced me for someone basically half of both of our ages. I've really given her so much. Including the awkward notice in the past when I was considering dating, and a second chance when she asked for it. She returned none of these and didn't put in much effort to clear up our communication, rather she just let me do it, decided she was unsatisfied with how I was doing and silently moved on without telling me any of that.
Not especially relevant, because I am over this one, but my relationship before this one (statistically) has some things in common. It was also about 6.5 years, and I found out on Christmas she had slept with someone else. I later found out she had likely cheated several times before this, too. I do get a bit of a nagging "Is it me? Why do people sleep with someone else after being with me for 6 years?", but I do know that isn't the right way to look at it. That relationship was awful in general and needed to end, though. This one that just ended though? Hurts. It really felt special and like we were going to be it for each other. Just needed a push to get unstuck and a little bit closer, but given how compatible our lifestyles are and how well we get along living together for years (which is a massive plus), I don’t get why she’d walk away from it (Apart from, it’s obvious she thought she could keep both - and I do know the heart wants what the heart wants and all that)
She’s gone, but not who I thought she was? Is the best I’ve got for reconciling this with myself. I saw (and still see) massive potential for mutual happiness between us, but maybe I’m being delusional.
I’m tooting my own horn a bit with this while also acknowledging this probably wasn’t best for me either, but I am the most patient/accommodating person I know, and most people I know also tell me this. I’m very passive, trusting, and accepting. For better or for (most likely) worse, I did the best I could to meet her ideals as I understood them and was happy to do so. I felt like a great match for how she wanted to be loved, and I accepted her faults. I dealt with bad moods, random unexplained stonewalling for a week or two (even though I now know these are not OK). I loved her unconditionally. What I wanted most was to soothe any vulnerable part of her, love it, and show her acceptance. Her trauma could scrape me sometimes, but I was happy to love her through it. Now she's left me with a giant gash, not a scrape. I also obviously can’t speak for her needs/wants, but it always seemed like I could meet them and she would usually (at least in the past) say I was perfect for her in response to it.
I’d like it if she appreciates just how deeply I loved her one day, but regardless I hope she gets that deep, unconditional love from whomever she ends up with.
I do not understand why she’d walk away from that to a 19 year old from the internet that seems like a dick, but her wants are her wants and I’m just left picking up the pieces from how she handled it.
More recently, she has been a lot angrier. With the move out becoming more real, she is playing the victim more about her costs rising - which I am sympathetic to. I can’t stop seeing hope and feeling pain when I see her though. I *need* her to go. I was dumped, replaced, and felt cheated on all in one single day when I really thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. I sympathized with the fact the move out was a hardship and her costs would be higher. I've told her many times to let me know if I can help. She's worried about her job and I even told her in an extreme scenario, I'll still give her a room if she needs it - I won't let her end up on the street. She's playing the victim now, and it's shocking. She blames me for throwing her out to 'feel better' (Which is true, but she's trivializing my hurt so much). She told her kids I don't want them there anymore and she doesn't know why. She told me my feelings are the least of her concern. She told me she appreciates the outreach, but she wouldn't even be in this scenario if it weren't for me in the first place (The reverse is also true, she would've been in this scenario for the past 4 years [how long we've lived together] if not for me). It's so shocking that it's helping me move on - I thank her for that, but it's still wild. A switch flipped, she wants control back and seems like a different person to me. He's going to move in with her in her new 2 bedroom apartment. He’s unemployed, but ‘as long as you’re looking’ it’s fine. I've always respected her strength and composure, but I feel like I see a different person before me. I have no idea WTF she's doing or WTF happened. Keep thinking this is just a long dream
I seek sympathy, and if I’m honest a bit of “Don’t look back” too, because that’s all I’m stuck doing. I keep thinking if their relationship is doomed, maybe we’ll get another chance but I know I can’t and shouldn’t do that to myself. I just miss her and still love her. I’ve mostly talked about the dramatic, stressful points, here but I have so many great memories with her too.
On a lighter note, her birthday is just before she moves out too (she's moving out in about a month - seeing her pack is its own pain, and the empty house will be a whole other pain). I debated if I should get her something. I know she doesn’t have her own vacuum cleaner, so I decided I’ll gift her one for her new place. It’s just about the least romantic gift I can imagine, and the pun potential is also high. I can just write “This sucks” on the card.
Short, but actually still long summaries- a troubled 6.5 year relationship when it comes to titles, but we’ve always been close and I’ve always made my feelings known to her
Timeline version:
[1 year, on - a normal relationship and we were really hitting it off together] ->
[Break up. Ghosted, then told me she found relationships suffocating and needed to not be with anyone for a while. I told her I’d wait] ->
[1 year broken up goes by - I keep telling her I love her, she keeps telling me she isn’t ready yet] ->
[She moves in, still broken up, but I still profess my feelings and she also gives me some signs of romance here and there. 1 year goes by living together like this] ->
[I consider moving on myself after getting some impressions that she may not be even ‘eventually interested’ one day, and I announce my plans. At first she says to go ahead, then later she says she wants to be with me and wants a second chance. I give her one] ->
[Probably 6-9 months of ‘on’ again] ->
[Space starts to settle in for the remainder of the time. She says she needs space and to be alone. We do not have a breakup. I give her space, continue periodically telling her I care about her, this continues for a couple of years (same time as before)] ->
[May 2024 I tell her I love her, still want to be her partner, I’m interested in long term commitment - she is receptive, says she would take it seriously. I told her I’m continuing to give her space and I don’t want to overwhelm her] ->
[July 2024, ask if she wants to resume the conversation over text. No reply. Back to waiting]->
[Christmas Eve 2024, I found out she’s been sleeping with a 19 year old for a couple of months, and never told me].
Text short(er) version:
We started strong, dated for about a year. We were ‘apart’ for 2 years because she needed space, but I was still asking if I could take her out on Valentine’s Day and she was still saying things indicative of romance to me, even if we had our distance. She later told me even though we were apart, she still felt like we were together that time. We got back together, and some distance settled in again. She told me she didn’t want to be needed, and be left alone to play games in her room. She was overwhelmed and said she just wanted to get through another day, repeat. I gave her this, and I kept waiting. Still expressing my feelings occasionally, and still giving romantic gifts on Valentine’s Day. We had a talk in May 2024 where I told her again I still loved her, still wanted to be her partner, and was interested in long term commitment at some point. I reiterated I was just giving her the space she needed. July, I asked her if she wanted to resume the conversation over text. There was no reply, so I retreated again for more months. Christmas Eve, I hear she’s been sleeping with a 19 year old (we are both around 35), probably since September or October and they’ve started a relationship. My heart shatters and I can’t believe this is how it ends. We had a lot of space, yes, but I kept telling her my feelings and that I was giving her space I thought she needed. We never had a defined break up before she started dating this 19 year old. She never let me know she wanted to see someone else. She never let me know after she saw someone else. She never let me know she started a relationship with someone else. I overheard it, I am more hurt than I’ve ever been in my life about it. Now she accuses me of throwing her aside just so I can ‘feel better’, and that it makes her bitteangry.
In hindsight, this is a mess I should have walked away from a long time ago, yeah? I really took a lot of pride being accommodating and meeting her needs but even I can see she barely ever gave me anything back. A lot when the titles started/resumed, but they would always taper off and then just a few crumbs here and there. I thought we just needed a push to get ‘unstuck’ and be perfect for each other (Our times together were great, and even the times apart were too. We’ve always gotten along well, and we live great together in the same space, it’s kind of shocking how well we do). But without that goal being reached, I really feel like I was just jerked around for ~5 years, you know? She always kept me around, gave me a little, but never properly dismissed/ended us, even when she went to someone else. I can’t believe someone would treat me this way. I can’t believe I still love her (for now), either. I can’t believe they told me I’m not on their side anymore, just because I asked them to move out so I could heal from this shock (gently, too. I told her to take her time and let me know if she needs any help).
submitted by pheria2049 to heartbreak [link] [comments]
2025.01.19 04:57 Vakiree Can I get my filling fixed?
I just got 3 fillings done on my bottom right back teeth and one of them just looks gross I hate how it looks all flat and the color is off the other two loom fine but on the third one it's so flat ugly and unnatural looking it also looks like they took off way too much of my own enamel the cavity was small I saw it soon but they basically took the whole top off and flattened it and I hate the look of it and almost don't want them to finish the rest of the fillings I need because I hate how it looks can I get it fixed to be more contoured instead of flat?
submitted by Vakiree to askdentists [link] [comments]