Advice on my first chapter?
2025.01.24 06:39 AdOptimal3972 Advice on my first chapter?
So I'm very new to all of this. I've always wanted to. But I haven't tried until now. I hope it's okay to post Here the first chapter of a book I'm writing, would you keep reading this? Is my writing trash? What could I do better? I'm almost finiished with the whole book but I keep questioning if I have waisted my time.
Chapter one Aria
The elevator lurched to a sickening stop, throwing me against the cold, metallic railing. My heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat echoing the sudden, suffocating silence. The fluorescent lights above flickered, casting an eerie, greenish glow on the worn, mirrored walls. Each flicker seemed to amplify the pounding in my ears, the air growing thick and heavy with the smell of stale metal and something vaguely industrial, like burning rubber. I fumbled for the open door button, my fingers trembling. Nothing. I pressed it again, harder this time, my breath catching in my throat. Still nothing. The mirrored walls reflected my panicked face, eyes wide with a terror I couldn't suppress. I was trapped. The monotone voice of the automated system cut through the silence. "Hello, can I help you?" "I-I'm stuck," I stammered, my voice trembling. "The doors won't open." "Help is on the way, ma'am. Try to stay calm." Calm? Easier said than done. The memories of the day I was diagnosed with claustrophobia flooded back, a tidal wave of fear washing over me. The county fair, that terrifying summer day. My brother, Ace, just eight years old, laughed as he held the door shut to the portable toilet. The suffocating darkness, the air thick with the stench of disinfectant and fear. The frantic pounding of my own heart, the feeling of drowning, of suffocating. I'd clawed at the flimsy door, screaming, convinced I was going to die. The image of that day, vivid and terrifying, replayed in my mind. I was back in that suffocating space, the air growing thinner, the metallic scent intensifying. I pounded on the door, my fists aching, my knuckles white. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I screamed, my voice hoarse. The elevator lurched downward, sending a jolt of fear through me. Was it falling? Was I going to plummet into the abyss, trapped in this metal coffin, plummeting towards oblivion? I pressed myself against the floor, the cold metal a grim comfort against the rising panic. Five agonizing minutes crawled by, each one an eternity. The seconds stretched into minutes, the minutes into what felt like hours. I was losing track of time, the world shrinking to the confines of this metal box. Then, a sliver of light, a lifeline cutting through the suffocating darkness. The doors groaned open, a rusty screech that seemed to tear through the silence. I bolted out, running through the double doors of my apartment, gasping for air, the cool open evening air a huge relief compared to the tiny elevator. I leaned against my car, my hands shaking, my legs weak. I was outside, free, but the fear lingered, a shadow clinging to the edges of my consciousness. My phone vibrated causing me to jump, a jarring intrusion on the lingering fear. It was Mom. "Aria, sweetie, where are you? Dinner's almost ready, and you were supposed to be here an hour ago." Guilt washed over me. I had worried her unnecessarily. "I, uh… I had a bit of a… delay," I stammered, still catching my breath. "The elevator… it got stuck." "Stuck? Oh, honey, are you alright? Did you get out? Did someone help you?" "I'm fine, Mom. Just… shaken up a bit. I'm on my way now." "Alright, sweetie. But hurry, your lasagna is getting cold." I ended the call, a crooked grin touching my lips. Lasagna getting cold? Mom was probably just trying to hurry me along. Typical. But the fear still lingered, a gnawing unease in the pit of my stomach. I knew I'd be okay, but the memory of the suffocating darkness, the terrifying descent, would not easily fade. I hope she doesn't make a big deal out of it. My mom has always been very over protective, she's not so bad any more but still when anything happens to me or Ace she can be a bit too much with the constant questions. I understand she wants to help, but there's a line between helping and prying. For instance, my 8th grade boyfriend had dumped me over text. I hadn't even seen the text but my mom did. I had left my phone in the bathroom and my mom let temptation get the best of her. I was sitting on my bed doing homework when she burst through the door with out knocking. “Oh Aria, I'm so sorry about Hayden.” “What about Hayden" I ask? She showed me the text on my phone. It was my first heartbreak. “Can you give me some privacy.” I had asked. But my mother didn't give me privacy. She returned every 10 minutes to check in on me. She offered me soup, asked if I wanted to watch a movie, asked if I wanted to play a game and so on. She finally gave up, but that's only because she had to call my Aunt Joanne to gossip about how heartless my ex Haden was. I love that she cares and wants to help. But she never knows when to stop. I just hope she doesn't make a big deal of this and tell everyone.
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2025.01.24 06:39 Robemilak “Audiences are going to really appreciate bringing it back to old school Marvel" — Anthony Mackie on Captain America 4
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2025.01.24 06:39 ChewieKaiju I can’t wait to finish this guy
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2025.01.24 06:39 Mindless_Cup2722 test
what is it?
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2025.01.24 06:39 ghostlyfortress Kayden Kross
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2025.01.24 06:39 Funkermonster Tail-Cut Wombo Combo
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2025.01.24 06:39 hybernatinq Master’s of Arts in Counseling- Should I mention having BPD in class discussions/assignments?
i’m just started my grad program (aiming to become a clinical psychologist) where a lot of our class discussions require us to deeply introspect about our own lives, including our upbringing, personality, and why we act the way we do. i find myself holding back in a lot of these open discussions because i feel bpd is central to a lot of my behaviors and impacts nearly every aspect of my life but i’m worried about the stigma associated with it. and i would hate to jeapordize what my professors think of me. however i feel like i’d be able to contribute to class discussions a lot more thoroughly by being authentic, especially on personal reflection assessments. does anyone have experience in this regard or what do you think as someone who doesn’t have the disorder?
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2025.01.24 06:39 Dear_Standard1328 Am I tripping or why is everyone so basic and using dual zimmies in PVP
Like I can take them down with my AC problem but it makes me disappointed everyone just wants to use meta to win and don’t wanna try out different weapons or goofy/cool builds. It’s just sad :’)
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2025.01.24 06:39 lost_outlines SadDAMN‼️‼️‼️‼️ jjagwgbh 📡📡📡
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2025.01.24 06:39 TrianglesForLife So Musk and Nazi
Musks a Nazi
Or
It was the roman salute.
Or
An innocent gesture.
But
The Nazis also used the roman salute
And
And using an offensive gesture innocently carries with it the weight of the offense. The is true for it being a roman Salute.
Maybe the man should be forgiven. Maybe not. Either way, a stupid move.
What has he actually done thats respectable. Just buys other people's shot and works his engineers until they do it for him.
Then he blows up his trucks and catches jet planes, decide in whims who to give the internet to during war, and now contribute to the downfall of America.
This man, along with Donald Trump have become the center of my conspiracy, along with many more.
They're trying to build their own country.
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2025.01.24 06:39 mdzsnflo A week with GR iiix
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2025.01.24 06:39 MiserableResolve1571 Batov phir musclemaina ya ICN
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2025.01.24 06:39 Relevant-Cry9437 Hey everyone! The free demo of our game 'Orcs Will Never Be Slaves' is now up on Steam.
Hey everyone! The free demo of our game 'Orcs Will Never Be Slaves' is now up on Steam.
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2025.01.24 06:39 BBinMiami H: 4* Mods W: Rangers Mods
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2025.01.24 06:39 Own-Difference-2907 New Player with a love for Horror themed decks looking for guidance
Hi! Long time lover of the game who finally came back in and timing wise obviously it may be an odd spot for strategy design, but I'm looking to try building a deck or two basing either off of using Myutant, Vampire or the Eldlich archetypes. Any specific kinds of cards or strategies I'd mainly need to focus on being able to apply/use in these cases?
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2025.01.24 06:39 Junipereal 32 yo Romanian no makeup or filter tell meeeee
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2025.01.24 06:39 stephenmthompson Charting Famous Guitar Battles from Movies
Apart from "Dueling Banjos", this has to up there as one of the best guitar battles in movies.
I have no idea how a charter would tackle this, but jeez I'd love to play along ... somehow ...
Guitar Battle Full Scene HD (Steve Vai & Ralph Macchio) - Crossroads (1986)
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2025.01.24 06:39 Skyscrape111 Final version
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2025.01.24 06:39 ilovefemboy I am on the “the emotionally distant boy and soft kind girl who heals him” pipeline, and it's all this game's fault
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2025.01.24 06:39 Adam-Milller Must-Listen Podcasts for Startup Founders Looking to Scale
As someone who's been in the startup world for a while, I know how crucial it is to stay inspired and keep learning. But sometimes, the right podcast can provide the motivation and fresh ideas you need to push forward. I recently came across a list of podcasts that could be incredibly useful for startup founders looking to grow their businesses. These podcasts cover everything from marketing tips to entrepreneurial insights. If you're looking for a fresh perspective, this list might be worth checking out!
Best Startup Podcasts to Grow and Inspire Your Business
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2025.01.24 06:39 Critical_Potential44 This Mac and Cheese commercial is different.
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2025.01.24 06:39 triple6vamp My Eeyore grandma gave me in 1975
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2025.01.24 06:39 StatisticianSuper Mf suggestions for lumpsum of 2lakh
Got some money today i want to invest it for at least 2y give me some suggestions
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2025.01.24 06:39 phantomimp Does anyone else find this ridiculous?
 | The sign up form for Azure is broken and has been broken for at least 10+ days based on discussions online. What is going on? Why are they refusing to fix the issue? submitted by phantomimp to AZURE [link] [comments] |