I Feel Like I'm the Only One Putting Any Effort in My Friendships
2025.01.27 04:50 Hot_Possession_42069 I Feel Like I'm the Only One Putting Any Effort in My Friendships
Sorry for the long post but there is a lot of history and context needed for the situation I need advice on. I '22F' have a long-time friend I'll call Lacey '22F'. Lacey and I met at the beginning of middle school when I had just moved and didn't know anybody. She was my first friend that I had made and we started hanging out all the time once we realized we only lived a few blocks away from each other. Our friendship was far from perfect but we always worked through our arguments and I always considered Lacey my best friend. I'd bring her to my family events and vice versa, my family practically adopted her. Things started going downhill after Lacey met her current husband, Sage '24M'. They started dating when we were 18 and we stopped hanging out nearly as much. I went from talking with Lacey daily and hanging out 3-4 times a week to talking every other day and seeing her once or twice a month. I didn't want to be jealous or angry but it was frustrating when Lacey would literally ditch me to go be with Sage. For example, we once went thrifting and were planning on getting lunch after; when Sage suddenly showed up to pick up Lacey. She told me she decided to go over to his house instead and that we could hang out another time. 2 years ago Sage and Lacey got engaged and I met my now wife, Alexis '22F'. The four of us tried to go on double dates but when I moved in with Alexis I ended up moving over an hour away and they were never even willing to meet us halfway. Alexis proposed to me on our 1 year anniversary and we opted to elope just 2 months after our engagement (this was mainly because we wanted to get married before the election because we live in the states). During this time I was also trying to help Lacey plan her wedding as she had asked me to be her MoH and they had finally set a date for December of last year. However, I was given almost information other than the date and place. It wasn't until a month and a half before her wedding that she finally told me what kind of dress she wanted me to wear and what color. She didn't let me help in any of the planning no matter how much I offered. I asked her if she wanted me to arrive at the venue early so we could get ready together (we were all doing our own hair and makeup) or if she needed me to help set everything up. She said she didn't need my help setting up and that everyone was just getting ready on their own before arriving, but if I wanted to show up early I could. Day of the wedding I got ready beforehand and I showed up an hour early in case they did need the extra help. Everything was pretty much set up so we went to see where Lacey was getting ready and I found the rest of the bridal party laughing and getting ready together. I sat awkwardly to the side while they made tik toks and had a good time. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin Laceys day but I felt like crying the entire time. Things went back to normal after the wedding and Lacey started talking to me more often (meaning she started answering me when I called). Things came to a head last week when Alexis and I invited Lacey, Sage, and a few other friends over to our apartment for drinks and dinner. Unfortunately a few nights before our 3 month old puppy absolutely destroyed our couch and we ended up having to get rid of it. We have already bought a new one but it wouldn’t have arrived by the night we were all hanging out. Luckily we have a dining table big enough to seat everyone so we didn't find it necessary to cancel the dinner. Lacey and Sage hadn't been to our apartment in 9 months, every other time we would go down to their apartment (that Sage's family pays for) since theirs is much bigger. Lacey and Sage arrived almost an hour late and ended up cutting the night short as well. The entire night they complained that we didn't have as much space as they would have had in their apartment. I'm feeling frustrated because Lacey never asks me to hang out or even calls me, it's always me planning everything and I'm always the one reaching out to her. I don't want to lose her as a friend since she's the only friend I have left that I'm truly open and close with but I'm tired of feeling this way. I haven't sat down and talked with her about this because the last time I did she broke down crying and I felt bad for bringing any of it up. I know I should probably just end the friendship but I recently had to end another long-time friendship and I don't know if I can handle losing this one too since I really don't have any other friends. How do I bring up my feelings with Lacey? Any advice will be greatly appreciated because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.
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2025.01.27 04:50 Comprehensive_Map460 Termino de um relacionamento 8 anos, que não queríamos terminar mas precisávamos
Primeiro post grande, então desculpem qualquer erro ou escrita entediante, será uma postagem bem grande pois tentarei deixar o mais detalhado possível.
Pontos importantes para levar em consideração durante a leitura:
- Eu estou sem paciência para a vida, com tantas preocupações, fico estressado e não consigo nem me aguentar;
- Não vejo muito sentido na vida;
- Ela está com depressão muito forte, também não querendo mais viver;
- Eu estou tentando seguir em frente e batalhando por novas conquistas;
- Nos últimos 4 meses ela começou a demonstrar resultados consideráveis de melhora;
- Ela não vê sentido em continuar tentando se reerguer.
Início do namoro: Quando terminei o Ensino médio, começamos a nos ver muito mais, 1 vez na semana... 3, 4... Até que era raro o dia que não nos víamos, ela era/é linda, gentil, carinhosa e com um jeito que sempre me senti muito a vontade, durante esse período eu comecei a notar que gostava dela de outras formas, mas como nunca namorei e tenho baixo auto estima, eu era leigo e não percebia os sinais superficiais que ela também gostava de mim, os detalhes superficiais eram: ela segurava minha mão, beijávamos a bochecha um do outro sem parar, ela sentava no meu colo, eu levantava ela no colo, ficávamos triste quando não nos víamos, falávamos coisas como estarmos namorando em universos paralelos, como perceberam, detalhes bem superficiais. Enfim, foi um momento muito gostoso e cheio de novidades, até que um dia, finalmente nos declaramos e dei um beijo nela em baixo de uma árvore de uma pracinha, foi mágico.
Período de namoro e momentos conturbados: Durante o namoro fomos nos conhecendo além do que tínhamos nos conhecido como amigo, foi meu primeiro namoro então cometi muitos erros e ela tinha muitos traumas, auto estima baixa igual eu então isso impactou bastante, mas também aprendi muitas coisas sobre ela, que ela é incrível em trabalhos manuais (Bob o construtor teria inveja dela), mais carinhosa do que eu pensava, ótima em ideia do que cozinhar, curiosidades sobre o mundo. Fazíamos cartas de amor, ela sempre com as cartas impecáveis e lindas em que um profissional de origami teria inveja, e eu planejando e fazendo uma carta por horas, dobrando, escrevendo, em que no final, parecia um papel que alguém usou para assoar o nariz.
Enfim lá pelo 1-2 ano de namoro eu já passava por vários problemas, mas elevou o nível de dificuldade da minha vida passando por um momento, muito, mas muito difícil da minha vida, não vale a pena trazer detalhes sobre o que era, mas imaginem um lado bem elevado e conturbado da coisa (envolvendo briga familiar, não ter onde morar e tentativa de suicídio), como eu disse, conturbado. Ela mesmo com brigas provenientes do meu momento, esteve do meu lado, acabei saindo de casa e fui morar com meus avós, durante a pandemia fui morar com minha namorada, sogra e cunhado. Nesse período me formei e consegui um emprego que paga pouco (R$ 4 mil líquido ) mas é legal, dei entrada em um apartamento (que deve ficar pronto ano que vem).
Detalhes do dia a dia morando com ela: Enfim, até o segundo ano morando juntos foi muito bom, cheio de amores, abraços, beijos, apoio, companheirismo, planejamentos do futuro, mas desde então começaram a surgir vários problemas, um deles é o fato de quando você mora com a família da sua namorada, você não tem espaço para se sentir mal, para ficar emburrado e também ficar calado, sempre tem que demonstrar estar feliz, afinal, se ficar triste, demonstra clima chato e não te dão espaço. Leve discussões com ela, começaram a virar gigantes discussões, pois como não tínhamos espaço para refletirmos e termos nosso momento, nunca ficávamos bem totalmente. Ela sempre continuou gentil e carinhosa, eu mantive tentando ajuda-la e também me tornando alguém melhor, sempre desmonstrando muito afeto. Ela por conta da depressão, não tem vontade de fazer qualquer coisa que envolva crescimento pessoal, o que me deixava mais preocupado e mais estressado ainda, ficamos assim por um bom tempo até que ela começou a fazer terapia, e demostrou resultados mais consideráveis nos últimos 4 meses, eu também comecei a fazer terapia e aprendi muitas coisas sobre mim.
Fim do relacionamento: Mesmo com a melhora, percebemos que chegamos a um limite, durante uma briga no último sábado, briga besta, tínhamos combinado de sair, me arrumei para sair, percebo ela desanimada e não querendo mais sair, fiquei chateado e ficamos sem nos falar. Eu então fui fazer almoço para nós, eu queria cozinhar sozinho, para refletir, ter meu tempo, ela queria ajudar, uma maneira de reatarmos, eu neguei, ela falou que eu não precisava mais fazer fazer para ela o almoço e...... Gritei... Soltei um sincero, alto, breve, estrondoso, culposo, aliviante, carregado de consequências... "CACETE!" um grito de desespero, um grito de socorro, de tantas coisas acumuladas, eu só precisava... Gritar. A assustei e dali o caminho foi traçado, ficamos sem nos falar até a noite, até que a pessoa que tanto amei, que tanto carinho me deu, veio com frase, o encerramento de um livro que não o mais bem escrito, mas o melhor que vivi, teve sua frase de encerramento "Vamos terminar".
Em condições normais, era só mais um dia em que ela não queria sair, um dia para eu falar "tudo bem, fazemos outra coisa". Mas infelizmente é um relacionamento em que eu estou sem paciência, pois eu mesmo não tenho paciência comigo estou preocupado todos os dias ,e ela não consegue se amar, nem lidar com a situação de alguém ficar chateado com ela, pois sempre se acha a pior pessoa do mundo e que não merece mais vive por ter magoado alguém.
Não terminamos pela briga de sábado, mas sim por conta de não estarmos bem com nós mesmos, eu a amo, ela me ama, mas eu não me amo e nem ela se ama. Um relacionamento assim tende só ao termino. Embora ela me fazia bem, e eu a fazia bem, o relacionamento nos fazia mal. Por fim concordei com ela com o término e embora nos amamos, embora não queremos terminar... Precisamos.
Agora estou triste, desesperado porque saí de casa dela por decisão minha, e terei que ficar me mudando constantemente, morando de favor em vários locais (alguns que não sou tão bem vindo), me sentindo um sem tanto e um ser inferior, também longe da pessoa que amo, longe dos abraços, da voz, do carinho de quem planejei tantas coisas, morar juntos, viver juntos e agora terei que construir uma nova estrada, uma a qual estou sozinho, uma qual terminei com quem não queria terminar e agora não tem mais volta.
Obrigado por lerem.
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2025.01.27 04:50 MandrewB RAM with the 9800x3D, what is the sweet spot?
So I've been watching a couple videos involving builds with the 9800x3D and one thing that I don't understand is why people decide to use ~6000 MT/s RAM. Is it a sweet spot? I know there is plenty of RAM that can go higher speeds.
I don't understand how CAS plays into all this, but I am guessing maybe RAM performance involves some CAS and memory speed calculation. I'm not sure if that is even important.
Also, is there any advantage of using 64 GB over 32 GB? I don't think we are at a spot where a game uses more than 32 GB, but would there actually be a disadvantage of having 4 sticks to get to 64 GB?
submitted by MandrewB to buildapc [link] [comments]
2025.01.27 04:50 davidart_unduaga [For hire] Ghibli, dragon ball and one piece style
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2025.01.27 04:50 WrestlingWoman Black and silver cowboy boot
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2025.01.27 04:50 LoneWolf2099 Lmao why is this in the subtitles
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2025.01.27 04:50 Kitchen_Proposal_623 Debating joining
I’m not 100% sure if this is the right tag and such for this as I’ve never posted in this sub, but I am considering reaching out to a recruiter and want to ask a question first. I’m 20f, struggling to get my life together, and I know the structure of the military does wonders for me as just being in Army JROTC in high school made a huge impact on my motivation and productivity, and it’s nowhere near as involved and structured as the actual military.
Is fat camp still a thing? It was when my dad wanted to join, he just couldn’t manage to drop the weight in order to get into the fat camp. I am pretty overweight, roughly 5’07” and 260 lbs. I know I’m very out of shape, but I’m more than willing to put the work in. I’ve lost almost 50 lbs already, and I know if I need to I could drop more before talking to a recruiter. I have all the other needed qualifications, my health record is clean besides my weight and my teeth, I have my diploma, all that stuff. I’ve just seen a few articles saying that being overweight is now one of the biggest hurdles for joining the military and it’s got me worried haha
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2025.01.27 04:50 lovelyyizuku im confused
 | hey guys, i used to be really intuned with the apollo drama whenever it first happened but i kinda forgot about it, which girl is she talking about? submitted by lovelyyizuku to apollostonesnark [link] [comments] |
2025.01.27 04:50 kdbleeep I met this cat that lives inside of Ace Hardware
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2025.01.27 04:50 KateA04 Travelling with Toddlers to Expensive Destinations
So I’m gonna start off by saying I’m 21 and my parents have never taken me overseas when I was younger so I have an urge/need to travel. Now that I have a child (who will be 2 this year) I have decided to make it my mission to do a yearly holiday. It doesn’t have to be overseas (like this year we are going to the Gold Coast). I decided that next year I’m going to go to one of my bucket list destinations; New York. However, once I told my mum that I plan on going next year, she told me that it’s not worth it doing an almost $10k trip when my daughter won’t even remember. Now I’m stuck in between “it’s not just for her, it’s for me” and “will it be a waste of money going?”. So, in your opinion, do you think it’ll be a waste of money to travel to expensive (kind of) destinations when children are so young? She’s pretty good on a plane but that was only 5hrs, New York is almost 24hrs!
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2025.01.27 04:50 Fluffy-Tonight3194 My silly ass dog wearing our favorite team’s hat. 💚💛
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2025.01.27 04:50 GarbageIcy8808 Need job this link they will help with tht
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2025.01.27 04:50 Lumpy_Affect304 I'm stuck on this update... And is very buggy. Especially in the app switcher..
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2025.01.27 04:50 notQuiteApex bigfoot sighting
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2025.01.27 04:50 nortstar621 Protein berry
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2025.01.27 04:50 anxiousflowerhehe Can we take a file or something for all the documents we need to carry
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2025.01.27 04:50 Avenging-Sky Pampa has appropriated my kids baby chair.
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2025.01.27 04:50 tiny_toad94 When I text someone and they respond by calling
I texted for a reason. If I wanted to talk, I would’ve called.
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2025.01.27 04:50 kokokalani As a nurse, do you salary sacrifice?
Looking into salary sacrificing however a little stressed in terms of doing it with a HECS debt. Any advice? What do you salary sacrifice?
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2025.01.27 04:50 Remarkable_Fuel9885 What sort if food or beverages can you buy for $5 at Hyatt Place Waikiki hotel?
Staying at Hyatt Place Waikiki for the first time next month, and apparently it comes with a daily $5 food beverage credit. With no plans to eat any lunches or dinner at the hotel, is there any use for this? Are there any drinks or desserts you can buy for this amount or is it effectively a coupon off meals at the restaurant?
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2025.01.27 04:50 Luverlady Me and u/IonicHades made a tierlist of all the legends titles cause why not, roast us lol.
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2025.01.27 04:50 Stupiduselessthrow Fuck
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2025.01.27 04:50 010Mix-Glacio010 Need xp farm ideas
So im plum tired of the tried and true xp farm i have, which is just a simple enderman farm using charms of ancient knowledge 2, its great for getting xp and not difficult at all, but wanted to know if theres a easier and faster method? Mob grinding utils works but also takes forever, even longer than my charm + end farm method, so is there any other easy XP farm out there i could use instead?
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2025.01.27 04:50 Perfect_Alps9982 Got a Luke 1/1 59 bowman baseball design!
 | Got a Luke 1/1 59 bowman baseball design! submitted by Perfect_Alps9982 to StarWars [link] [comments] |
2025.01.27 04:50 unworldlyfate New 2024 Tiguan question
 | So I just got my first Volkswagen a few days ago and was wondering is there a reason I can’t add it to the app. When I pull it up on the car it gives me a QR code to scan which brought me to the app and automatically imputed my VIN number, as far I’m away I should be able to add it? Any insight would be very appreciated submitted by unworldlyfate to Volkswagen [link] [comments] |