AIO for calling an old friends ghosting 'callous'?
2025.02.01 22:51 Porn-Throw AIO for calling an old friends ghosting 'callous'?
I asked this on some of the social skills/ friendship subs a while back and while most people agreed that the situation sucked and just a difficult part of life that comes with time, a few commenters took umbridge with me calling this person's actions 'callous' and I wanted some outsider perspective or to understand if this is just Reddit being Reddit.
Basically, a few years ago, I ended up living with a long time colleague who I had good chemistry with even if I felt like we ultimately lived in different worlds. This was about a year after COVID took out jobs but we had mutual friends that kept us in proximity here and there.
While we never became amazingly close, we did spend a decent amount of time together and got to know each other rather well. During my time at the housey father passed away suddenly and she was the only person who I was able to get any real regular comfort from and she even went to the funeral with me.
Eventually she found her own place and I moved into dad's house to try and renovate it. We drifted apart, naturally, but she would still initiate some contact here and there and make me feel that at least the spark of friendship still existed between us.
About two years ago, I found out she was going to a concert with a friend of hers. This was a band that I adore but given her music taste was someone that I was surprised she never really listened to, so perhaps I got too much hope in thinking we could meet back up and bond over it. She said early on that this would be more something between the two of them so I tried to not overstep my bounds but I didn't imagine that she plain wouldn't want to see me at all that evening. I asked about a week before over text if we were meeting and didn't get a reply until I (gently) pressed the matter the day before and only then got a full affirmation that this was between the two of them ONLY. To be clear I absolutely respect her right to want that but I felt the communication was bad and I struggled to fathom how she couldn't see how that would be interepted as such.
She had a history of this kind of communication which felt fromy end like (unintentionally) leading me on. She'd be doing me favours like getting me gig tickets and such but still be bad at reciprocating communication attempts. Perhaps I am too addicted to my phone but I genuinely cannot comprehend when people cannot get back to people's questions in a reasonable timeframe when an answer takes seconds. This is NOT me demanding that people consider every one of my needs and I'm fine waiting a while for a non urgent reply especially when people are dealing with work or whatever but I don't think it's always not inconsiderate.
I had figured the concert thing was that and was just prepared to accept our friendship had passed, except I'd still get occasional messages out of the blue, we'd back and forth for a little bit and then I guess she'd decide communication was over. Okay then. I'd invite her to things as part of a group chat and wouldn't get a response but again I recognise I'm not owed that.
What really upset me though and made me realise I actually need to move on is that over Christmas, I found out that my neighbour of three decades had a message from me asking how I was. For context, this was someone she'd only met through me a couple of times. He was also a big help with my father's death, but until I moved back into the house was someone I had a big physical distance from. There were a few days where my friends would gather and help me clear the house/have a barbecue and socialise and the two of them would obviously chat as she's very good at endearing herself to people.
Anyway, I think the last time they ever would have actually seen each other is either 2021 or mid 2022. They didn't become regular acquaintences or anything.
Anyway, I thought that because of this I'd reach out to her, just incase she had some lingering fear of having annoyed me over the concert thing or whatever (not that I expected this or anything but I wanted to reach across the aisle to possibly assuage any hesitation). I asked how she was apologised for maybe having created distance between us (I didn't say this but I had been holding the concert thing against her, maybe a little unfairly, maybe not) and just tried to open communication back up. I got zero response, I asked again if she was okay and just got nothing. I always have a hard time accepting when friendships have run their course but that killed any doubt for me.
Except I couldn't get over the fact that she'd reached out to the neighbour she spoke to a handful of times and had little history with but ignored what I thought was a genuine attempt to keep a longstanding relationship going. I thought about asking her why she thought I wasn't worth talking to because how could I not feel played around with after that. I ultimately thought better of that but not before asking some Reddit relationship subs for perspective. Some of the responses were telling me that yeah this is just friends drifting apart and yeah that sucks but some people took offence to me saying that I felt that it was callous treatment. Perhaps I had just let myself get hurt too many times by thinking there was more to her actions than there actually were but I would rather she just never spoke to me again than start making an effort then bottle on actually following through even a tiny bit. Someone even accused me of thinking that the world revolved around me for it which I found a bit galling because I never even once said or indicated that I felt entitled to her attention, just that I was hurt by what I felt were mixed messages (I don't mean in like a romantic sense, for disclosure I'm male and always thought she was attractive but never considered ever actually trying to get together with her, especially as she had a boyfriend for most of the time we worked together.). I'm still just in a stunned stage of "who does that?" and why people would think me being upset by that is some kind of moral failing on my pat.
I don't know why the Reddit comments got to me, and this ended up longer than I wanted it to, but this is because I hate leaving out details - not because I think this is high stakes or anything. I've made my peace with the friendship having passed and I recognise that I have something like abandonment issues and feel very sensitive to the idea that I'm not a priority to anyone. But am I actually selfish for thinking that she's handled things badly? That the way she acted was more hurtful than just stopping communicating with me?
submitted by Porn-Throw to AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Limp_Pilot_2050 How do you know if he/she’s the one?
Pano nyo nalalaman na sya na yung panghabang buhay nyo?
submitted by Limp_Pilot_2050 to AskPH [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 _Zonkowaty_ Dora it qualify?
 | This printer and black lines. My first card with some misprint, from 2025 McDonalds promos, i dont know what to think submitted by _Zonkowaty_ to PokemonMisprints [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 ArletaFire Looking to give quick head
36m 5’6 150 White dude.
Pull up, I suck you off, we’re done. I’m in Arleta.
submitted by ArletaFire to r4r [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 SlotMachineGun777 There goes my luck for the entire year.
 | As someone who usually has trash artifact luck (And terrible in game luck in general) i just want some kind of sign that this is a good artifact... i know theres like roll value and more advanced stuff but i just... can i just keep this equipped forever?? I dont want to grind feathers anymore... submitted by SlotMachineGun777 to ArlecchinoMains [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 Jealous_Confusion601 Benimaru Shinmon
 | Briefly cover all that’s in the anime and character development. Would be great for support submitted by Jealous_Confusion601 to fireforce [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 Squished_AdamHH What do y’all think is the Most OVERHATED Toon? *A Toon who doesn’t deserve the hate* (Image Semi-Related)
 | submitted by Squished_AdamHH to DandysWorld_Roblox [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 Affectionate_Echo311 Advice
Hi everyone, I have a friend that dealing with social anxiety. She's tired of controlled by her anxiety. How can she use the law the change her self concept so she can live a better life.
submitted by Affectionate_Echo311 to NevilleGoddard2 [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 KingDong9797 It's been a spicy few weeks you degenerates, so this is apropos
 | submitted by KingDong9797 to collegesportzmemes [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 PainterFit1657 Dust drone re-design and the abilities.
 | submitted by PainterFit1657 to MurderDronesOfficial [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 Tovitas A little message of motivation.
 | submitted by Tovitas to MarchAgainstNazis [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 solace1234 I feel really dumb now because I’ve always looked right past the multi-limb mutations.
I never considered the fact that it’s basically free equipment slots, making room for more buffs than if you didn’t have those things. I think it’s just that the idea of two extra arms or two heads always seemed basic to me, so i usually went for, like, wings, antlers, a stinger, shit like that.
125+ hours in and I’m just now realizing the power ceiling in this game is, like, triple what i thought it was.
submitted by solace1234 to cavesofqud [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Estudantegalactico Qual VPN vocês indicam?
Salve geral. Baixei o qbtorrent no celular e quero proteger o Cel de virus. Baixei um antivírus, o Bitdefender, e queria baixar uma VPN. Qual dicas? Valeu
submitted by Estudantegalactico to pirataria [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Drkananga1 Lauryn and Rylee
 | submitted by Drkananga1 to hooters [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 purseaddict Shoes REHOME [FS][US]
Shoes are always hard along a clothing. Most are catch and release besides Prada black boots and Miu Miu which were both worn once.
Details to each item https://imgur.com/a/gdUdDXE
- Roger Vivier $100 shipped size 40, size 8.5. 2 inch heel
- Prada shearling chukka $130 shipped, size 40, 8.5 US
- Alaia mesh shoes $60 shipped, size 40 but these are big on me and prob fit more like. 9-9.5. Measures 10.2 inches
- Loewe oncloud shoes $90 shipped, size 40, US 8.5
- Schiaparelli toe mules $85 shipped size 40, US 8.5
- Gucci horse it platforms. $100 shipped size 40, US 8.5. 5 inch heels and 2 inch platforms. Color is slightly lighter than auth
- Prada monolith boots, worn once and in really good condition. $90 shipped size 40 US 8.5
- Miu Miu boots, worn once in really good condition $75 shipped, size 40 US 8.5
submitted by purseaddict to RepladiesDesigner [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Academic-Leg-5714 How to get this gold???
I cannot figure out how to get this gold without getting destroyed by traps
submitted by Academic-Leg-5714 to PixelDungeon [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Treasure-boy "My house is just down the way" my fucking ass
submitted by Treasure-boy to DarkSouls2 [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Soapmctavish101 Anyone down for a car meet?
Me and my lad just wanted to have a quick meet if anyones down? First time ever so im not sure of the process lol.
PSN: Ajshah786
submitted by Soapmctavish101 to CrewMotorfest_Meets [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 One-Fault9158 It wont go past zero iv’e been charging it with a new charger for over a hour
 | I bought a new charger to see if that was the issue but that didn’t help. submitted by One-Fault9158 to OculusQuest [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 Illustrious_Leg_6437 How much do we think?
Finally pulled an epic
submitted by Illustrious_Leg_6437 to Soundmap [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 cajzlions Beauties 😍👑
 | submitted by cajzlions to FunnyAnimals [link] [comments] |
2025.02.01 22:51 Addysonbae Underestimated the Emeryville Ca bowl
submitted by Addysonbae to skatergirls [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Random_Spaztic When to start next feed
3 days pp and caring for a 19 mo so please forgive me of this is a silly question and any grammatical errors.
So if I’m doing combo feeding, and newborn is falling asleep between breasts and bottle, when exactly do I start the next feed? Is it 2 2- 3 hours from feeding from the first breast, or 2 to 3 hours from feeding from the second, or 2 to 3 hours from feeding the bottle? I am feeding on demand if they signal before the 2 hr mark.
Newborn will fall asleep for anywhere between five minutes to an hour between breasts and bottle. I try everything to keep them awake and to wake them. Strip them down to a diaper, annoy them with tickling, touches, noise, etc.
submitted by Random_Spaztic to combinationfeeding [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Izanaginookami10 Just Appreciating.
submitted by Izanaginookami10 to BrownDust2Official [link] [comments]
2025.02.01 22:51 Global-Physics-7523 Can someone tell me what era this shirt tag is from specifically the year
submitted by Global-Physics-7523 to jncojeans [link] [comments]