I am not that eloquent
2025.02.02 04:51 LUORENZEN I am not that eloquent
Eloquent. This word I learned is about the height of my vocabulary. I am not able to express myself in a way that is consistent with my inner world.
But I have to give it a try. Even if it means that I come to the same sobering conclusion as always: mediocrity, weakness, cowardliness are the attributes that describe myself best.
Stuck in a limbo of untreated depression and addiction leading into self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. And none of it has any deeper meaning. I am nothing but another failed existence at the age of almost 31. No longer able to love or receive any of the people who refused to give up on me.
And mostly you. No matter how cruel I have been to you, you stick by my side. But there is no hope that I will change. I am not willing to put in the hard work to help myself to be the loving husband you deserve. Your future was bright and even though you deny it, I play a big part in dragging you down into this hole. You’re afraid of what would happen if we were no longer one. But my vision tells me otherwise. And it doesn’t matter if I take this decision out of weakness or cowardliness, the result will be the same. Freeing you of all this weight.
Your affirmation and dedication towards life will prevail. And I am scared too. Being almost absolutely certain that my existence will turn out even more painful away from you. To keep on hunting these addictive fantasies and hedonistic pleasures. And its is here that I fail.
Having no better words to describe my (non-existent) pain than speaking of holes that can’t be filled, fires inside of me that have burned my emotions into numbness. I’m not special. I’m mediocre. And capable of evils I couldn’t have imagined. So let us part ways and at least have you glow up back into bright light.
In (as much as my brain can remember I once felt) love,
Unknown
submitted by LUORENZEN to Unsent_Unread_Unheard [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 individualfromreddit How many runs are you getting in?
Curious to see how many runs everyone is getting in with all the info about strikes and the current climate out west. I ski in North Carolina so it’s no problem to get 15+ in at a small mountain and leave by 2-3 pm. Where do you ski? How long?
submitted by individualfromreddit to skiing [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Prestigious_Bobcat17 Virgo ☀️ Scorpio 🌙 Gemini rising- any Astro twins out there? Regardless if not
What do you feel are our strengths and weaknesses?
Also libra mars, Leo Venus- what Astro partner do you think would be a good fit?
submitted by Prestigious_Bobcat17 to scorpiomoon [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Girlactus Re invented this dresser
 | Took an old white dresser and gave er an uplifting, I rather love it. Sorry, the only 'before' pic I have is one with my feral child howling in front of it lol submitted by Girlactus to interiordecorating [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 Responsible-Fudge472 Got my friend hooked
 | submitted by Responsible-Fudge472 to TokidokiBosottoRoshia [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 BreakSubstantial1618 If you were in anyone in the world’s body who would it be? But there’s a catch. They would be in your body for a day too?
submitted by BreakSubstantial1618 to AskReddit [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 SmerkinDerbs Unbelievable someone from Massachusetts feels this way.
 | Like how does someone be this dense living in Massachusetts? submitted by SmerkinDerbs to massachusetts [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 myxtrss For the good vibes
 | Just wanted to share some happy photos of my lovely 2 year old rex, Minnow. She's the light of my life 🥰 submitted by myxtrss to Rabbits [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 Potential_Anxiety_76 Can’t climb with jet pack?
Am against a perfectly vertical wall, but climbing with the jetpack now only gets me jumping in spurts and quickly running out of juice. Am I daft or having bad luck, or has climbing up very high walls with the jetpack being unaffected been phased out?
submitted by Potential_Anxiety_76 to NoMansSkyTheGame [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 XleviousReal How would i make a modern military helmet
I need it for a pair of nvg goggles i modeled.
submitted by XleviousReal to blenderhelp [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Professionalchump I'm trying to get good quality pcvr with quest 3, I've got steam and VD just need a little help.
My Internet router is shared with other people who like to watch HD stuff so I thought the best way would be to share my wifi through my PC which has Ethernet. Ics I believe it's called? Is this not the best way? I do have an extra router but the box says "great for windows 10!" So it's kinda old but basically my question is would setting up the extra router be faster (routers have faster speeds than my wifi card probably) for virtual desktop?
submitted by Professionalchump to virtualreality [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 AffectionateHome8108 i7 14700k or ultra 265k or Ryzen
Hi guys i am planning to build a pc but i have no idea to choose 14700k or latest ultra series. 14700k has better gaming performance than ultra series but it has no upgrade potential due to new socket pin LGA1851. For some reason, i can get cheap intel processor around $200 to $250 so ryzen will be much more expensive in this situation.
Extra One question guys, i know ryzen x3d is good for gaming but is 8 core and 16 thread really enough currently because i saw intel has at least 20core and thread which put amd far behind for opening alot of stuff like google chrome and games and so on. I saw people are complaining intel for giving little core in the past so im not sure what u guys think about amd now. submitted by AffectionateHome8108 to buildapc [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 CorrectFlavor Essays shouldn’t have minimum word requirements
As Anton Chekhov once said, “Brevity is the sister of talent.” If you can successfully articulate your ideas in less than a page, then why should you be required to write more?
submitted by CorrectFlavor to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Crisis_ButThrowaway I was never an RPG nor MMO player so I never understood the whole "Did so many side quests I'm now over-leveled for the main quest". Anyway, now I do.
 | submitted by Crisis_ButThrowaway to ffxiv [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 Active_Difficulty197 Does this count as a win?
 | submitted by Active_Difficulty197 to SleeperApp [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 Charming-Border-7907 Any idea?
Hey guys tanong ko lang po if familiar kayo sa inchcape digital and the work environment there? Thanks po.
submitted by Charming-Border-7907 to PHJobs [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 LifeEnginer Alternatives to leather
Hello
Like we all know leather is a high quality material that last, the problem is that it is coming from animals and we have to kill them, something I do not like.
My question: what are the alternatives to leather in the market?, the idea is to get as so many keywords related to "leather alternative's" and have a easier time looking for.
I look for a proper nice backpack.
Thanks.
Note: I know this is not necesary an animal friendly/vegan/etc forum, but these are my personal preferences. I hope thid can help everybody to find proper strong materials, thanks!!
submitted by LifeEnginer to BuyItForLife [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Jamal2939 ASMR UPCLOSE Uvula EXAM
 | submitted by Jamal2939 to uvulas [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 mrfancy699 Daily gifts TC: 684129249712
Daily gifts
submitted by mrfancy699 to PokemonGoFriends [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Feisty_Revolution176 Sun Rahu Saturn in the 1st house
I have sun Saturn and Rahu together in 1st house Capricorn in my D-9 chart. This house is also being aspected by Jupiter which sits in the 9th house. How can this conjunction play out in one's life?
submitted by Feisty_Revolution176 to vedicastrology [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Direct-Parking-4641 Anyone?
 | submitted by Direct-Parking-4641 to bloxfruits [link] [comments] |
2025.02.02 04:51 PunkAssBitch2000 Hi I want to introduce myself
I’m not yet diagnosed with a rare disease. I suspect I have one because I have a LOT of health issues, syndromes, symptoms/ signs, developmental anomalies, and anatomical variations.
Just wanted to say hi. I’m 24. I’m non-binary (they/them) and I live in the United States. I am of Ashkenazi decent. I hyperfixated on ancestry for a while and managed to trace some of the lineage back to specific shtetls, and one line went back to the 1700s!
I will list stuff below in case anyone is interested. It is very likely I’m going to forget stuff by accident as I have memory issues from a TBI. I didn’t receive much medical care prior to age 13, so I’ve been playing a lot of catch up. - hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome - autism spectrum disorder - attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, combined type - nonverbal learning disorder - severe math impairment - Motor developmental delays, particularly as a child. Baby developmental milestones were barely delayed, but things like shoe tying, holding silverware, putting my hair up were all quite delayed. Therapist suspects childhood developmental coordination disorder (dyspraxia) but cannot diagnose since she didn’t see me as a child. - migraines starting as a toddler - gastroesophageal reflux disorder starting as a toddler (I called them “wet burps”) - sensory processing disorder - hyperacusis - visual snow syndrome - optic disc drusen - early onset presbyopia (mild) - early onset osteoarthritis in: midfoot, knees, shoulder, all lumbar facets, and likely other locations that I just haven’t gotten scanned - myofascial pain syndrome - prominent perivascular space on brain imaging - mitral valve regurgitation - tricuspid valve regurgitation - pulmonic valve regurgitation - postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome - suspected vascular thoracic outlet syndrome (haven’t gotten a scan yet, but my doctor and PT think it’s very likely because I lose my radial pulses with elevation) - Raynaud’s phenomenon - livedo reticularis - early onset varicose vein and spider veins - thin translucent bendy fingernails and toenails (toenails have thickened due to decreased blood flow) - thin translucent cuticles that need frequent trimming because they will grow 3/4 the length of the nail - patches (inner bicep, armpits, breasts inner thighs) of extremely friable and stretchy skin that have become super thin. The rest of my skin is moderately hyperextensible/ fragile. More in line with typical hEDS - Wrinkly elephant knee like skin over all knuckles (fingers and toes) - Thickened and moderately wrinkly skin on elbows and knees. - early onset striae - mix of normotrophic and mildly atrophic scarring - delayed wound healing (scabs hang around longer and wounds get stuck in the purple pink phase for like 9 months or sometimes permanently) - skin sloughs off if damp for too long (working at a summer camp with a pool was rough lol) - mucosal fragility - hairy right big toe - dysmenorrhea - mammary duct ectasia - extremely dense fibrous breast tissue (had to get ultrasound because doctor and I both felt suspicious lumps) - bladder prolapse - uterine prolapse - anismus (paradoxical) - rectal hyposensitivity - herniated disc touching the S1 nerve root - spinal stenosis - foraminal stenosis - Transitional lumbosacral junction, lumbarization of the S1 - degenerative disc disease - mild levocurvature (scoliosis) - chronic costochondritis - slipping rib syndrome - suspected cervical spine instability - gastroparesis - small intestine dysmotility - large intestine dysmotility - redundant/ tortuous colon - gallstones - mild insulin resistance - multiple fatty abdominal hernias - 3 accessory sesamoids per foot/ankle - stieda process - possible generalized brachydactyly - congenital bilateral 4th toe contractures - flat fibular grove - pes planus (flat feet) - early onset bunions - spontaneous ligament rupture - numerous tendinitis and tenosynovitis - osgood schlatters disease - tongue doesn’t fit in my mouth - slightly translucent teeth with craze lines, and prone to spontaneous breaking - asthma - autoimmune chronic spontaneous urticaria - neonatal jaundice - Congenital unilateral dacryostenosis - accessory spleen - anesthetic resistance - chronic fatigue syndrome - delayed sleep wake phase syndrome - insomnia - hypersomnia
submitted by PunkAssBitch2000 to rarediseases [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 Helpful-Draw-6738 Chinese tablet getting poor internet connection with google wifi pro
I have a Chinese Lenovo Y700 2023 tablet and just get terrible internet connection on my network because of google wifi pro. I have tested with an old modem router and it runs fine. But I need the Google WiFi pro 3 pack mesh for the whole house I have tried just plugging the old router to one of the nodes in the room for which the tablet will be used but have the same problem, so I don't think it's to do with wifi channels
submitted by Helpful-Draw-6738 to GoogleWiFi [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 CounterAble1850 Epics are still usable/meta
Idk why but recently i kept seeing videos about how "epics aren't meta" or "only epic+ cookies are usable". Like i wonder if they play anything outside of arena. Yeah most epics dont stand a chance in arena but their acting like pve doesn't exist. Most guild bosses only need 1 - 2 epic+ heck even the avatar of destiny doesn't even need epic + cookies. And from what I've seen in cookie alliance the hero teams needed the majority of cookies are just epic. What im trying to say is epic cookies are still very much usable and meta. What are your thoughts tho. Thank you for listening to my rant bye
submitted by CounterAble1850 to CookieRunKingdoms [link] [comments]
2025.02.02 04:51 speedyliam7 ESP32-S3-Touch-LCD-4.3 wount show graphics
 | hello, im using the ESP32-S3-Touch-LCD-4.3 and wan to run this code: ------------------------------------------- #include "lv_conf.h" #include "lvgl.h" #include #include #include #include #include "HX711.h" lv_obj_t *label_temp; lv_obj_t *label_hum; lv_obj_t *label_weight; lv_obj_t *label_color; lv_obj_t *label_type; // RFID Setup #define SS_PIN 5 #define RST_PIN 22 MFRC522 mfrc522(SS_PIN, RST_PIN); String color = "Unknown"; String type = "Unknown"; // DHT Sensor Setup #define DHTPIN 4 #define DHTTYPE DHT22 DHT dht(DHTPIN, DHTTYPE); // HX711 Setup #define LOADCELL_DOUT_PIN 5 #define LOADCELL_SCK_PIN 6 HX711 scale; // LCD Display Setup TFT_eSPI tft = TFT_eSPI(); #define LV_HOR_RES 800 #define LV_VER_RES 480 // Dynamically allocated buffer lv_color_t* buf1; lv_color_t* buf2; lv_display_t *disp; // --- DISPLAY FLUSH FUNCTION --- void my_disp_flush(lv_display_t * disp, const lv_area_t * area, unsigned char * color_p) { uint16_t w = area->x2 - area->x1 + 1; uint16_t h = area->y2 - area->y1 + 1; tft.startWrite(); tft.setAddrWindow(area->x1, area->y1, w, h); // Access color directly as uint16_t for (int i = 0; i < w * h; i++) { uint16_t color_val = lv_color_to_u16(((lv_color_t*)color_p)[i]); // Convert lv_color_t to uint16_t tft.pushColor(color_val); } tft.endWrite(); lv_disp_flush_ready(disp); } // --- READ RFID TAG --- void read_RFID() { if (mfrc522.PICC_IsNewCardPresent()) { if (mfrc522.PICC_ReadCardSerial()) { Serial.print("UID:"); for (int i = 0; i < mfrc522.uid.size; i++) { Serial.print(mfrc522.uid.uidByte[i] < 0x10 ? " 0" : " "); Serial.print(mfrc522.uid.uidByte[i], HEX); } Serial.println(); mfrc522.PICC_HaltA(); update_menu_screen(); } } } // --- UPDATE MENU SCREEN --- void update_menu_screen() { lv_label_set_text(label_color, color.c_str()); lv_label_set_text(label_type, type.c_str()); } // --- CREATE MENU SCREEN --- void create_menu_screen() { lv_obj_clean(lv_scr_act()); label_color = lv_label_create(lv_scr_act()); lv_label_set_text(label_color, "Waiting..."); lv_obj_align(label_color, LV_ALIGN_TOP_LEFT, 100, 10); label_type = lv_label_create(lv_scr_act()); lv_label_set_text(label_type, "Waiting..."); lv_obj_align(label_type, LV_ALIGN_TOP_LEFT, 100, 50); label_temp = lv_label_create(lv_scr_act()); lv_label_set_text(label_temp, "Temperature: Waiting..."); lv_obj_align(label_temp, LV_ALIGN_TOP_LEFT, 100, 90); label_hum = lv_label_create(lv_scr_act()); lv_label_set_text(label_hum, "Humidity: Waiting..."); lv_obj_align(label_hum, LV_ALIGN_TOP_LEFT, 100, 130); label_weight = lv_label_create(lv_scr_act()); lv_label_set_text(label_weight, "Weight: Waiting..."); lv_obj_align(label_weight, LV_ALIGN_TOP_LEFT, 100, 170); } // --- UPDATE SENSOR DATA --- void update_sensor_data() { float temp = dht.readTemperature(); float hum = dht.readHumidity(); float weight = scale.get_units(10); char temp_str[10], hum_str[10], weight_str[10]; snprintf(temp_str, sizeof(temp_str), "%.2f C", temp); snprintf(hum_str, sizeof(hum_str), "%.2f %%", hum); snprintf(weight_str, sizeof(weight_str), "%.2f g", weight); lv_label_set_text(label_temp, temp_str); lv_label_set_text(label_hum, hum_str); lv_label_set_text(label_weight, weight_str); } // --- SETUP FUNCTION --- void setup() { Serial.begin(115200); SPI.begin(); mfrc522.PCD_Init(); dht.begin(); scale.begin(LOADCELL_DOUT_PIN, LOADCELL_SCK_PIN); lv_init(); tft.begin(); tft.setRotation(1); // Dynamically allocate buffer based on display resolution size_t buf_size = LV_HOR_RES * LV_VER_RES * sizeof(lv_color_t); buf1 = (lv_color_t*)malloc(buf_size); buf2 = (lv_color_t*)malloc(buf_size); // Initialize display disp = lv_display_create(LV_HOR_RES, LV_VER_RES); // Set flush callback and buffers lv_display_set_flush_cb(disp, my_disp_flush); lv_display_set_buffers(disp, buf1, buf2, buf_size, LV_DISPLAY_RENDER_MODE_FULL); // Optional: Set color format if needed lv_display_set_color_format(disp, LV_COLOR_FORMAT_NATIVE); create_menu_screen(); } // --- LOOP FUNCTION --- void loop() { lv_timer_handler(); // Handle LVGL tasks read_RFID(); // Read the RFID tag update_sensor_data(); // Update sensor data delay(2000); // Delay to control the update rate } ---------------------------------------------- it succesfully complies and uploads but i just get the backlight and a black screen https://preview.redd.it/w88ytuecpnge1.jpg?width=2374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2990520969e56f67369c79a4a359ee87ca61ccf im wondering how to fix it and run the code propperly submitted by speedyliam7 to esp32 [link] [comments] |