My submission
2024.11.25 08:40 Budget-Factor-7717 My submission
submitted by Budget-Factor-7717 to teenagers [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 polyphonic_peanut Caught in the Middle Inside
When I was a child, like many people here, I was caught in the middle of my parents' arguments, sometimes their violence. I was the diplomat, mediator, conflict resolver, peacemaker. Aged ... 7, 8, 9? Something like that.
...
Today I've been reflecting on how maybe the traces of that past play out in my mind day to day.
I often find I am caught between two - or multiple - pressures around what I 'should' or 'should not' be doing. Or even just thinking or feeling.
...
Schema Therapy detour:
I've been really into Schema Therapy for a few years, and now in treatment for almost all of this year. One thing I like about it is how it helps to 'map out' the different parts of ourselves (or 'modes'). For me, this mapping allows me to see and understand my parts more clearly, and attend to them or respond generally in more adaptive or healthy ways (or through the so-called Healthy Adult mode).
In the ST model of NPD, it is said that we can have a very strong Demanding Parent mode. This is the internal helicopter or pushy 'parent' in our minds, telling us what we 'should' or 'should not' be doing. To a certain degree, this is normal and adaptive. But the Demanding Parent mode is really over-the-top. It is 'Over-Demanding', relentless and omnipresent.
In response to this, we can experience a sense of pressure and anxiety. Our so-called 'Vulnerable Child' mode is being tormented by the Demanding Parent inside.
One way we can cope with this is to flip into an Overcontroller mode. This is seen as a common response for pwNPD, and I definitely relate.
In that Overcontroller mode, we try to live up to the standards of the Demanding Parent. We go to the nth degree. We push ourselves. We try hard. We show up 'well'. We are Overly Nice. Compassionate. Hard Working. Achieving. Beautiful. Successful. The best.
When we reach the targets set by the Demanding Parent, we might get that high - which I would associate with a combination of a Self-Aggrandiser mode, and a 'Detached Self-Soother' mode (which can similarly be seen in addictive behaviours). We've reached that pinnacle. We are The Best. And it feels so bloody good. It's also a world away from the pressure and anxiety of the Vulnerable Child, which is still there underneath.
...
What I see, though, is that most of the time, I don't reach that high. Instead, especially when I'm working from home, or on my own for any length, or just trying to make decisions for myself, I can be quite locked-in to an Overcontroller mode.
I haven't quite reached the goal, and the stress of feeling that internal pressure and anxiety about what I 'should' be doing is pretty strong.
I'm wondering if the Overcontroller can be a default mode of mine, to be honest.
...
But, getting to the point of this post, I've been wondering if, like when I was a child, I might have two - or multiple - Demanding Parent modes, and/or multiple Overcontroller modes working against each other.
It's like I'm caught in the middle. It causes a decent amount of grief every day. Each Parent mode is telling me a contradictory thing that I should or shouldn't be doing, and so I flip between multiple attempts to meet those contradictory standards.
Both Overcontroller modes still have that sense of angst and pressure, and, after a while, I can get really overwhelmed with anxiety. It can lead to panic or some other form of dysregulation.
...
For example:
I like to work out. I like to keep healthy. I can be really happy doing it. I enjoy it. Great.
But then my joy for it shifts into this more Demanding Parent mode pressure: I should be doing it, because I should be maintaining my look, my standards, my muscles, my weight, even my passion for it. It shouldn't stop.
My mind starts spinning: "When am I going to pack this into my day? Maybe I'll get up even earlier to fit it in. Am I doing enough?"
But then a contradictory Demanding Parent mode starts piping in, telling me not just that maybe I can take a break or rest, but that I absolutely should take time off. It's pressure from the other direction.
And by the way, that should comes with a hidden self-criticism, a hidden inner critic. It tells me that I'm failing, bad, terrible, crazy etc for 'not being able to rest sufficiently or manage my schedule, or go about my workouts in a relaxed way.
...
In response to this, I see that I flip into two contradictory Overcontroller modes, each one reacting to the respective Parent modes.
I see that this flipping between these different poles or different standards can happen very rapidly. Like, in the space of a few seconds I can go from one to the other:
"Get going with that workout, boy!"
- Ok. So I start the workout.
"Stop! You're crazy for doing this!"
- Ok. So I stop.
It's an example of how it could show up. But I'm realising that: this is quite a pervasive pattern in my life:
Call a friend. No, leave them alone.
Go for a walk. You should take some time off. No, stay at home. You need to work.
Tidy the house, you lazy bastard. No, leave it messy you overcontrolling neat freak!
...
No wonder I have experienced so much anxiety in my life, especially on my own. I have these two poles of opinion about almost every aspect of life.
My Vulnerable Child mode - the part that experiences the anxiety and stress as feelings - is in disarray. Which way do I turn? So much pressure from all directions.
...
Another thing I like about Schema is that the Healthy Adult mode can be cultivated to help in these situations. It can become mindful of what's going on (mode aware). It can then work to 'cut through' the chaos with a more level-headed response.
And that is what I really need to do.
I think my/our Healthy Adult mode is identifiable because it doesn't come with that pressure or angst. Whereas one Demanding Parent might say: "You bloody need a 15-minute rest, you idiot! Stop overworking!", the Healthy Adult response is: "I'm gonna have a chill and feel into my body, try to be with and relax, and then go from there."
I can do that. But also: my overcontroller modes can be really strong. So it's real work.
It's interesting to me, though, to see it like this: my inner child caught in the middle of these two, conflicted parents.
I'm happy to spot it, because that can help me towards more freedom in my life.
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2024.11.25 08:40 mirrored-_- What is this?
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2024.11.25 08:40 anonymossastrproxmax kabul et sen de anasayfanda dönen kurbağa görmeyi beklemiyordun
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2024.11.25 08:40 AutoModerator Beginner’s Guide to Canva
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2024.11.25 08:40 Dependent-Ad870 Roof rack tent weight limit
Hi! I’ve found a roof top tent that only weighs 57kg (125 pounds) skycamp 3.0 mini
But I believe the weight limit for RinoRacks is only 75kg (165 pounds)
Now obviously the tent weighs less than that, but once my fat ass sits in it it’s gonna weigh quite a bit more… especially with my partner. We’re looking at an extra ~150kg meaning ~200kg total! That’s over double the weight limit.
Does this rule out the possibility of a roof top tent? I read somewhere that the weight capacity is only in relation to driving with weight on the racks but does not rule out stationary weight. Is that correct?
Any advice helps!
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2024.11.25 08:40 d0d0master What is this?
This post contains content not supported on old Reddit. Click here to view the full post
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2024.11.25 08:40 KandaharX В Белгороде на выставке «СВОих не забываем!» чиновники указали неправильное имя погибшего военного - вместо Дмитриевича он стал Юрьевичем. По словам организаторов, цель выставки - "сохранить память". Все по плану...
 | submitted by KandaharX to neudobnaya_pravda_ros [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 arpit1559 Soft Toys for Kids
https://linktr.ee/CuddleNest
Please follow on Instagram and facebook.
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2024.11.25 08:40 jamiepusharski Best way to get this seat with runner on here
 | Do i need to grind upb off and does it just bolt down submitted by jamiepusharski to simracing [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 EAP74 I’m looking for a song with a similar gospel/acapela feel to ‘The dirt’ by Tor Miller but one with lyrics that don’t talk about ending up with different people. It’s for a wedding LOL
submitted by EAP74 to similarsongs [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 AutoModerator GTA Online Modded Accounts for PC, XBOX, and PLAYSTATION (Old and New Gen) Tired of the grind?
 | https://preview.redd.it/8rs0fqcm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0fdda1384115f3f5f5da670ff537b7ea268338b https://preview.redd.it/jv12ascm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c43e1aab84d6b65f8eb2db8bb3f13f4799c497a2 Contact u/LeviAckermanGTA or join my discord if you want to get one like this. 💕 Discord:https://discord.gg/HBZtbeMPp9 submitted by AutoModerator to LeviAckermanGTAMods [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 AmphibianCurrent2689 bummer
 | the community week flower planting challenges are flowers i don’t have😭 i started playing in september so i only have 3 months worth of monthly flowers and i heard the challenges are from the last 6 months of flowers:( i have morning glory’s but i’ve never come across any of these other flowers😟 submitted by AmphibianCurrent2689 to PikminBloomApp [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 pppppppplllp Set up for a future pilot (13), Xbox x, or pc. Vatsim?
None gaming parent here, our son wants to be a pilot, always has done. The choices are expensive brand new pc and controller set up. A second hand pc set up, or brand new Xbox series x and controllers. Xbox is cheaper, more practical, but beyond the graphical limitations are there other limitations to the Xbox? Is there no multiplayer on Xbox?
Using the aviation alphabet with other humans, communicating, I am looking for that kind of experience. Controlling a plane properly not just flying past landmarks and logging out midair after a joyride.
Obviously the next steps beyond mastering a flight simulator is flight school which is expensive (the French have some government help) we would be willing to take on if we have a willing participant who can hit the ground running. Hopefully a good flight sim experience will help us in that road.
Thankyou
submitted by pppppppplllp to MicrosoftFlightSim [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 nekke99 Whats the best armor for scorpion pvp build guys? Any suggestions?
.
submitted by nekke99 to throneandliberty [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 AutoModerator GTA Online Modded Accounts for PC, XBOX, and PLAYSTATION (Old and New Gen) Tired of the grind?
| | https://preview.redd.it/8rs0fqcm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0fdda1384115f3f5f5da670ff537b7ea268338b https://preview.redd.it/jv12ascm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c43e1aab84d6b65f8eb2db8bb3f13f4799c497a2 Contact u/LeviAckermanGTA or join my discord if you want to get one like this. 💕 Discord:https://discord.gg/HBZtbeMPp9 submitted by AutoModerator to LeviAckermanGTAMods [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 EnderGem957 Holotypes - What Are They?
I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos discussing prehistoric creatures as of late, and I've heard the term "holotype" used quite often, and while I think I know what it means, I'd rather double check than sound stupid later on.
submitted by EnderGem957 to Paleontology [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 spicespiegel What is your ranking of Weapons from both games?
Including the aspects. Mine goes like this: 1. Bow 2. Twin Blades 3. Gun 4. Staff 5. Shield 6. Axe 7. Sword 8. Gauntlet 9. Mechsuit 10. Skull 11. Torches 12. Spear
I'm aware that Spear at the bottom is an unpopular opinion but honestly Spear would work so much better in Hades 2 especially with the spin attack turned into omega attack. And giving the otherwise weak special, some kind of omega attack would be cool. But without any doubt Cronacht is the best weapon with the best aspects. The blades are right behind but we'll see if the 4th aspect is just as good. I really really really wanna love the mechsuit but it is underwhelming for me (for now), especially since Exagryph is so incredible.
submitted by spicespiegel to HadesTheGame [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 EvenResponsibility57 They fly now?!?
 | submitted by EvenResponsibility57 to stalker [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 AutoModerator GTA Online Modded Accounts for PC, XBOX, and PLAYSTATION (Old and New Gen) Tired of the grind?
| | https://preview.redd.it/8rs0fqcm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0fdda1384115f3f5f5da670ff537b7ea268338b https://preview.redd.it/jv12ascm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c43e1aab84d6b65f8eb2db8bb3f13f4799c497a2 Contact u/LeviAckermanGTA or join my discord if you want to get one like this. 💕 Discord:https://discord.gg/HBZtbeMPp9 submitted by AutoModerator to LeviAckermanGTAMods [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 AutoModerator GTA Online Modded Accounts for PC, XBOX, and PLAYSTATION (Old and New Gen) Tired of the grind?
| | https://preview.redd.it/8rs0fqcm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0fdda1384115f3f5f5da670ff537b7ea268338b https://preview.redd.it/jv12ascm7l9d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c43e1aab84d6b65f8eb2db8bb3f13f4799c497a2 Contact u/LeviAckermanGTA or join my discord if you want to get one like this. 💕 Discord:https://discord.gg/HBZtbeMPp9 submitted by AutoModerator to LeviAckermanGTAMods [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 xNoMeds raffling shiny sky 10k a ticket join discord
 | https://discord.gg/TGC8XYcR submitted by xNoMeds to Soundmap [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 GlobalExplorer702 This one actually makes Sense when you look at the pronunciation...
 | submitted by GlobalExplorer702 to GenAlpha [link] [comments] |
2024.11.25 08:40 NoLuck555 AmiAmi unregistered paket kargoya verilir mi?
AmiAmi’den figür almak istiyorum ama gümrük yasası yüzünden sadece unregistered air parcel seçebiliyorum kargo olarak. Kısacası, kargo takip ve sigortalama yok, yani paket bi şekilde kaybolursa paramı geri alamıyorum vs. Figür gerçekten çok istediğim bir figür ve fiyatından dolayı sadece 2. El amiamiden alabiliyorum. Ne yapmalıyım sizce? Paket kaybolur mu? Bunu anime figürleri subredditine sordum. Türk bir kişi çıktı ve geçen sene unregistered paket söylediğini ve sorun yaşamadığını söyledi. Yurtdışından herkes çoğunlukla sorunsuz geldiğini fakat bir kaç kez kaybolduğunu (ama eninde sonunda onlara getirildiğini) söyledi.
submitted by NoLuck555 to AskTurkey [link] [comments]
2024.11.25 08:40 mcdeekey [Thank you] wonderful postcards
I hope you are doing well :)
u/panda-pac Thank you so much for your postcard and the jokes - so funny :)
u/LavendarLarry Thank you so much for the balloon card and the stickers :)
I wish you a wonderful christmas time
submitted by mcdeekey to RandomActsofCards [link] [comments]