Dismissive Avoidant Partner / Anxious Attachment - Me - Breakup
2025.01.23 17:33 KP187AFC Dismissive Avoidant Partner / Anxious Attachment - Me - Breakup
I am a 44 year old male who realises now that after the last couple of relationships I’ve been through, I lean towards being anxiously attached. My ex partner 38 Year old female was a dismissive / fearful avoidant (not sure what one to be honest!) and we only found out about this because she went to counselling due to having some trauma still from her previous marriage to a narcissistic controlling man. After she explained everything to the counsellor, she said she thinks my ex had avoidant attachment issues, which was news to us both and I hadn’t heard of it until then (and now looking back I think my previous ex of 3 years was an avoidant too, but that’s another post / story!)
We got together in November 2023 and things moved pretty fast. She was a very loving kind, easy to get along with happy bubbly, beautiful person. I was really attracted to her and she was I. We got along so well, we liked the same things, I got on with her friends and family and vice versa. She told me of her previous relationships. She had been married twice before, and a couple of other relationships. I remember she told me early on in one of our conversations that she always had doubts with all her partners. Everyone she’s been with, even the two men she married, when she married them she didn’t think she would be with them forever!! But we got on so well, everyone who met her from my side thought I had finally met someone I could spend my life with. She was great, or so I thought!….
The first time she mentioned a “doubt” was after about 6 months. She just said one evening when we were sat there that she was not sure we was compatible, as she was more talkative than me. I was a bit surprised as I thought we did click really well, we had so much in common and always could talk about anything. We never disagreed and always got on. Plus all my male friends are quieter / less talkative than their partners!! We talked it through and then seem to settle her down. About 3 months later she said the same thing again and thought we should break up. I was again shocked of where it had come from because everything was great, no arguments, the easiest relationship I’ve ever been in. The most loving, caring kindest relationship. There were no issues at all. I had met her son and she had met my daughter. Everything was going in the right direction. Anyway we had a big talk again and things seemed to be ok. We went away on holiday abroad, we went camping as a family she sent me messages saying she has fallen more in love with me. She even messaged me one night to say she had told her son that me and my daughter would all live together one day. She started sorting out the third bedroom at her house so we could all stay together more. She even started looking at houses in our area we could all live in. This was all done off her own back, there was no pressure or me saying we needed to move in together soon etc etc this was all her own doing. After all this and me thinking the couple of doubts she had had obviously gone away, just a few weeks after this and nothing happening in between to suggest anything had changed. I get a text one morning from her to say she hadn’t slept well, she had been up all night thinking. She was overwhelmed and stressed making a decision of whether we should be together or not. So she ended things. Out the blue, completely discarding me.
We kept contact over the next few weeks and we did meet up and try but every couple of days she would message and say nothing had changed in her head. We had been together a year.
I asked her to write a list of all the good things about me and all the negative. The list of positives was a bout 100 long. Nothing on negative. I had a similar list for her. We were suited. All her friends / family couldn’t understand her, some were angry she had done it as they said I was the best thing for her. She had told me during our relationship that I treated her better than any other man had ever done. With kindness, love, caring respect. My family and friends were all shocked and upset as they thought we had a long future together.
This was all a couple of months ago now. We did keep contact for a while. I even suggested we stayed friends and she seemed happy with this idea. But I couldn’t go through with it as it was so hard. We met up a couple of times and she said both times she would have come Back with me to have sex. So she still fancied me. She just didn’t want to commit to a relationship with me.
I eventually told her we have to go no contact as it was hard for me, it didn’t seem to bother her at all of we messaged or met up. But each time we did, she told me. I’ve got no regrets for breaking up with you!!! So it hurt me each time. I had to say we can’t speak anymore. It’s been a month now since I’ve seen her and three weeks since any contact at all. I know she is still in counselling , and I know she doesn’t want to feel this way.
I guess what I want to know, from anyone’s experience.
Can an avoidant change? Do they ever come back?
Can you ever trust them, and is it a good idea to even take them back?
I am so confused, and this breakup hurts more than breakup of my marriage to my daughter’s mum.
Because we seemed so in love, so compatible and right for each other. And she completely blindsided me, discarded me and for no real reason.
Any help would be great
Thanks
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2025.01.23 17:33 AuroraMistt Finding beauty in the dark and the mysterious
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2025.01.23 17:33 BuggzArty Meet my latest creation: A bold, pink-haired !anime character with a fierce vibe, Who do you think she is-hero or villain?
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2025.01.23 17:33 ChocolateLeft9333 Thumper Fab Roof Levels Explained: Which One is Right for You?
Thumper Fab Roof Levels Explained: Which One is Right for You? When it comes to protecting your UTV while elevating its performance, Thumper Fab roofs stand out as the ultimate upgrade. With options tailored for casual riders and hardcore adventurers alike, choosing the right roof for your Polaris, Can-Am, or Tracker can be a game-changer. Let’s break down the different Thumper Fab roof levels, their features, and the use cases to help you find the perfect fit for your needs.
What Are Thumper Fab Roofs? At their core, Thumper Fab roofs are designed to combine rugged durability with versatile functionality. Built for some of the most popular UTV brands, including Polaris Ranger and Can-Am Defender, these roofs are available in multiple levels, each catering to specific riding styles and requirements. From basic protection to advanced audio systems and storage solutions, Thumper Fab has a roof for every adventurer.
Comparing Thumper Fab Roof Levels || || |Feature|Level 0 Roof|Level 1 Roof| |Overview|Basic weather protection|Advanced features for utility and style| |Audio Integration|None|Premium built-in audio system| |Storage Options|Not compatible with racks|Compatible with roof racks for added storage| |Durability|Lightweight but reliable|Built to handle extreme terrains| |Best For|Casual riders seeking affordable protection|Hardcore adventurers and audio enthusiasts| |Price Range|Lower price point|Higher price but greater value for added features| |UTV Compatibility|Polaris Ranger, Can-Am Defender|Polaris Ranger XP 1000, Can-Am Defender MAX, others|
How to Choose the Right Thumper Fab Roof When deciding between Thumper Fab roofs, consider these factors:
- Riding Style:
- Casual weekend riders may find Level 0 sufficient, while daily explorers and off-road enthusiasts should opt for Level 1 for added durability and features.
- Audio Needs:
- If music and entertainment are important to you, the built-in audio features of the Level 1 roof are unbeatable.
- Cargo Requirements:
- The Level 1 roof’s compatibility with racks and mounts ensures you have the storage space for tools, camping gear, or other essentials.
- Budget:
- While Level 0 offers an affordable starting point, the added functionality of Level 1 justifies its higher price for those needing extra features.
Upgrade Your Ride with Thumper Fab Roofs Today Choosing the right roof can make all the difference in your UTV experience. Whether you go for the practicality of the Level 0 roof or the advanced features of the Level 1, Thumper Fab roofs offer unparalleled performance and protection. Explore the full range of options and transform your ride into the ultimate off-road machine.
Ready to take the leap? Check out our complete collection of Thumper Fab roofs and discover the perfect fit for your UTV.
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2025.01.23 17:33 AfraidSpecific9164 Where to next?
Hello. I'm currently working sa yellow firm as an assurance associate.
I'm enjoying the work kase I get to go to different places near and far for fieldwork. I also get to meet new people from different industries so hindi nauubusan ng new knowledge and insights. However, medyo mabigat lang talaga yung workload kahit hindi busy season which gets in the way of time for myself and family.
Ang tanong ko is, may accounting related job ba wherein you'll get to experience fieldwork din and get a chance to work with different industries pero ung workload is sapat lang para sa mahinang nilalang na gaya ko?
Thanks~
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2025.01.23 17:33 mercurialsaliva [Official] At Milan's Ordinary Shareholders' Meeting, David Castelblanco, a Partner at RedBird Capital Partners, was confirmed as a Board Member following his prior co-optation. Dominic Oliver Mitchell, from Elliott Investment, was newly appointed to the Board of Directors. The Board now consists
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2025.01.23 17:33 jvc72 Buy Signal SpringWorks Therapeutics - 23 Jan 2025 @ 12:30 -> USD35.14
Ticker: SWTX
Exchange: NASDAQ
Time: 23 Jan 2025 @ 12:30
Price: USD35.14
Link: https://getagraph.com/NASDAQ/stock/live-signals/SWTX/ENG
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2025.01.23 17:33 Fun_Discipline1 Why have media outlets resorted to saying “false claims” and “false remarks” instead of LIES when reporting on politics?
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2025.01.23 17:33 MaroonedHighHopes Someone's shitposting on Truecaller!
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2025.01.23 17:33 Haku_btw A day on the slopes
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2025.01.23 17:33 papanurgle_9364 Appreciation post (olWa)
I've already done one of these for him but Ty u/olwaboiette .
Some pretty disgusting stuff got posted here and it was delt with super well thanks to him
Top tip guys : don't click random Reddit links 😁
See ya
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2025.01.23 17:33 momochansito Struggling with My (Violin) Career Path and Relationship Decisions
Hi everyone,
I hope you’re all doing well. I’m writing this because I feel lost and could really use some advice.
I started playing the violin when I was around 8 or 9 years old. My mom signed me up for a lot of activities, and violin happened to be available. Over time, I joined a community orchestra and eventually made it into the conservatory in my city. It’s not a huge achievement since music isn’t a big deal where I’m from, but it is the main conservatory here.
However, my experience with the violin has been really tough. Growing up, I dealt with rude teachers, constant comparisons, and the toxic egos often present in music education. When I started high school, I desperately wanted to quit and pursue drawing and animation instead, but my parents didn’t allow me to. I pushed through those years, but by the time I was 18, my Russian teacher told me I wasn’t cut out to be a violinist. Honestly, I didn’t care much—I had started a degree in another field, was studying Chinese and English, and kept playing violin in the evenings with minimal interest or effort.
Over time, I started to resent music. I don’t even enjoy listening to most genres anymore, with a few exceptions like jazz, bossa nova, and J-pop. When COVID hit, my Russian teacher told me to quit, and I was ready to move on. But when I talked to my parents about quitting after nearly 12 years, they convinced me to finish the program since I only had a year left.
I found a new teacher, who unfortunately turned out to be as bad or worse than the last one. Somehow, I managed to push through and finish my degree while juggling another career path and personal interests. Music became something I just endured, not something I loved.
Then, everything changed when I met my boyfriend, who’s also a musician. Playing with him brought me some joy, but I’ve always wanted to explore other interests outside of music. Our relationship has become serious, and now I really want us to move in together. My parents have also told me that this is my last year living at home, so I feel like I’m at a crossroads.
The problem is, my boyfriend believes that staying in music—ideally joining an orchestra—is the best path for us to have the time and stability to build a life together. He says teaching isn’t a good option for me because it’s a full-time commitment and requires passion, which he thinks I lack. I’ve told him I’m not sure I want to pursue orchestra life either because I don’t feel obsessed with music the way you need to be for that career. He’s told me I need to find balance, but no matter what I do, it feels like I’m failing to meet the expectations.
On Monday, we had an argument. I told him I don’t think I want to pursue music anymore, and it felt like he was saying that if I make that decision, we can’t live together. He said I’d have to get an office job, and we’d only see each other on weekends. That really hurt me.
Now, I feel stuck. I want to be with him, but I’m not sure if continuing in music is the right path for me. I feel like I’m not thinking clearly, and I don’t know if I’m being selfish or a bad person for wanting to leave this path behind.
If anyone has any advice, thoughts, or similar experiences to share, I’d really appreciate it.
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2025.01.23 17:33 chungchangching Devon, The AI Overlord
My very first OC revamped with a drastic design change
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2025.01.23 17:33 pradeep23 Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams [Punk rock] [2013]
![Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams [Punk rock] [2013]](https://external-preview.redd.it/68q1MOdHAwFlTX-RE2Yt7GfYABo-CLUyGb0QGnUJEzg.jpg?width=320&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=cfb874badeba2efaf4463e58cff428bdd296bae5 "Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams [Punk rock] [2013]") | submitted by pradeep23 to MusicVideos [link] [comments] |
2025.01.23 17:33 Mp32pingi25 Banning of Twitter links ?
What is the reason for this? I don’t think I’ve ever posted a twitter link. And I don’t remember them being a problem. So I’m just curious why they are banned now. I see that it was voted on, and that’s fine. I’m just wondering the reason?
I hope it’s not just because you don’t “like” Elon or Trump lol.
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2025.01.23 17:33 GC_235 First iOS app released – simple to-do list I made to solve my own problem
I recently launched my first iOS app, a basic to-do list I built to solve my own need for something straightforward and to learn iOS development along the way.
It’s free, has no ads, and doesn’t require sign-up – just a simple app for managing tasks.
I’d love feedback from this community on how to take it further:
• Any ideas for meaningful features that could make it more useful?
• Suggestions to improve the overall experience or polish?
• How would you approach marketing a small, niche app like this (if at all)?
Here’s the link if you’re curious: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/daily-to-do-lists/id6740779074
This was a fun learning experience, but I’d love to keep improving it. Thanks for checking it out!
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2025.01.23 17:33 susancarreau Omg 😭
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2025.01.23 17:33 donutloop Aschaffenburg attack: German mayor warns against 'hatred'
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2025.01.23 17:33 Gandalvr ‘Hello Singapore’
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2025.01.23 17:33 lilmissm0use Revisiting my fun screenshots from when I first bought ACNH 😆
 | Having a really fun time re-finding these screenshots of my villagers on my island. 🤣 submitted by lilmissm0use to AnimalCrossing [link] [comments] |
2025.01.23 17:33 greenangel222 thanks i hate cholesterol nodules in patient's skin built up from eating a diet consisting of only beef, butter and cheese. His total cholesterol level exceeded 1,000 mg/dL. For context, an optimal total cholesterol level is under 200 mg/dL, while 240 mg/dL is considered the threshold for 'high.'
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2025.01.23 17:33 Cpt-Jeppe In Case of Emergency, deployable base...
 | Workshop link in the comments... https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3413046716 submitted by Cpt-Jeppe to spaceengineers [link] [comments] |
2025.01.23 17:33 Blu3byyou First time watching
I've always watched clips on Instagram of the show and I'm finally watching it. Idc for spoilers so if anyone wants to share who they like and dislike the first season that be cool just so I can look back on here if I have the same thoughts as anyone!
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2025.01.23 17:33 Landscapganic4628 My favorites so far! Very cool!
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2025.01.23 17:33 ReducedEchelon Ok I caved. What does my fridge say?
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