I feel like i disappointment at 25.
2025.01.31 03:21 goodgayhell I feel like i disappointment at 25.
I've been a writer ever since I was a kid. In elementary/middle/early high school I wrote incessantly, to the point that sometimes I'd be unable to continue typing because my fingers ached. I was in gifted kid programs throughout my schooling, and from a young age I began to believe that I'd be an author. Not even in a normal hope/expectation way, but as objective fact. I WOULD be an author. There was simply no other option, no other sensible conclusion as to what I would do with my life.
But as I moved through high school and college, I developed issues with depression and anxiety. This, in combination with a heavy workload, drained most of my motivation to write for years, with the exception of lots of informal RP and the occasional original work (probably for a class, but still).
After graduating, I struggled with what to do with myself and eventually landed a remote corporate job. Even after being freed from the pressures of college and working a relatively lax job, I rarely wrote. I also stopped RPing for the first time in a decade because I got tired of the drama and toxicity within my RP circles.
Four months ago, I got laid off from work. In the wake of my loss, I resolved to use my free time productively and try to write or draw or do something otherwise meaningful and creative whilst looking for work.
Cut to now and I haven't done shit.
I think about writing a lot. Nearly every day I contemplate my characters or story ideas. But I almost never actually write. I feel like a disappointment for not having written a book or drawn a comic or developed a game or whatever else yet. (It also doesn't help that these days I have the attention span of a goldfish.)
The urge to create feels like a pimple or a cyst, growing but unable to find any form of release so it just gets bigger, uglier, and more painful. But I have no motivation to actually do it. I know it's the depression, but saying that feels like an excuse. I know the average age for a first-time author is in the 30s, but that doesn't sway the expectations I've built up over the course of my entire life. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others or take comments to heart (shoutout to my mom for drunkenly saying she thinks I'm wasting my life), but I do it constantly.
I feel like I'm wasting my time, life, and potential by sitting on my ass and playing video games and watching video essays all day. It sucks. Especially since I'm still unemployed (despite submitting 200+ job applications...........), and as a result without insurance, meaning I can't even afford therapy at the moment.
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2025.01.31 03:21 BadBoy11051984 Reinhard Mey & Freunde - Nein, meine Söhne geb' ich nicht [Offizielles Video]
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2025.01.31 03:21 pusheenfairy Im so excited
guys ims o excited for v2.0 omg i love coletta omg im so wxcited 😆😆😆😆
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2025.01.31 03:21 Certified_SewerRat Looking for more tabs
Does anyone have any good places where I can find some Ralph Stanley banjo tabs? I’ve already learned Will the Circle be Unbroken through a tab I found on a YouTube video. But every song I try to find I either find just one measure of the song or i find a completely different song with a similar name. I’ve tried navigating hang out but I can barely figure out how to use the site
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2025.01.31 03:21 Comprehensive-Link9 Any help drawing jaws and teeth?
 | I can draw them facing me directly but when I try to draw them from different angles they end up looking distorted and I have a lot of issues putting the teeth and mouths together sometimes. Btw a friend told me that the first drawing looked like a v@gin@ with legs, is it really that bad 😭? (I know he was joking lmao) submitted by Comprehensive-Link9 to learntodraw [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 TimelessPizza How would they go about this scene in the anime? (Read bodytext)
 | Are they gonna make Kenjaku's Japanese voiceactor speak english? Or will the americans just speak japanese lol submitted by TimelessPizza to Jujutsufolk [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 MalCrowettUwU Good evening I have a Question What is the best place to farm with the trident?
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2025.01.31 03:21 MrBuckBuck Deni Avdija with his 1st assist of the night. Thanks to Camara's tough finish at the rim.
 | submitted by MrBuckBuck to DeniAvdijaX [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 Admirable-Bus-7618 Issues with adoptive father keep bubbling up
I'm 32M and my adoptive father is 69. He adopted me when I was 17 and entered a co-parenting friendship agreement with my mother. They are friends and are not romantic partners.
My adoptive father (AF) is generally well-liked by family and friends as he projects of image of being polite, good-humored, and approachable. However, in our household, he has had strained relationships with my mother, my 40M partner and 48F live-in helper who took care of my terminally ill mother.
He used to be a corporate training professional, but after being laid off, he has been in and out of short-term gigs. He mostly was trained as an educator, but has pivoted to corporate coaching and personal development (you might see this come up later, as he enjoys using that jargon to put us down).
My AF has been supportive to me, mainly offering a listening ear or a sounding board for careerelationship advice. He also paid for a semester of college, and has helped me emotionally and logistically when my mom was terminally ill until after her death.
However, we have had serious issues in the 14 years of our relationship, most of which took place after adoption, and some in more recent times.
My issues with AF include:
- He cannot receive criticism or feedback about himself or his behavior. Rather than listening to it, he would rather walk away or dismiss it. My AF is an obese person with alcoholic tendencies and he tends to binge eat. He tries to balance it with odd diets and he expects praise and support when he is on them, but we are not allowed to criticize him when he goes off them.
- He is self-entitled. When he moved in with my mother and I, he agreed to pay a lower amount of rent to her as he had also helped with home renovations. However, there were stretches when he paid half the amount, or none of it, as he was out of work.
- He tends to exaggerate his parental role with me.
AF also constantly gushes to his friends about our adoption ceremony, even though I am uncomfortable about it, partially due to the above.
- Whenever I have arguments with him over problems caused by him, he tends to refer to me as a 'hurt child' or ask that I seek therapy as he 'diagnoses' me with BPD. We had a recent episode where he mentioned my aunt, his sister-in-law, J, to my wedding.
When we attempted to communicate how I was uncomfortable with her coming to my wedding as she had been privy to, or part of this odd exchange, he gaslit me into thinking he never spoke to her about a birth chart reading. He stormed out of the restaurant where we had lunch.
I apologised to him later for how the discussion escalated to that, assuming my part of the blame as I had brought it up and could have approached it better. However, he said he 'forgave' me as I had issues of an 'inner hurt child' and said I was 'going through my journey'. This ticked me off as his message seemed insincere and did not address that he spoke to J about this, and did not assume any of the blame or how it upset me that he did that in the first place.
He first suggested that we go to therapy together (which we had in the past), but after I told him I was upset after started psycho-analysing me again, mentioning I had an ACE score of 7, sending me a link to symptoms of Borderline personality disorder, he said I should go to therapy 'on my own' and that I had to resolve this.
I'm once again close to a breaking point with him. I am tired of dealing with his neuroses, and I do think he has Narcissistic personality disorder. I had kicked him the house that belongs to my mother and I in 2023 (and he still remains living with a friend till present day) after the self-entitled-ment episodes with my partner, my mom, and live-in helper.
We fixed things with therapy, but he keeps falling into old patterns of gaslighting us, subjecting us to his temper (he is very reactive), and a lot of guilt-tripping. I am tired of this, but I am not as affected as I used to be, as we do have more space between us, and I am as not reliant on him emotionally as I was before.
I have sought help for anxiety and was diagnosed with GAD, and am speaking to a therapist and am on Prozac - unlike him, despite all his psycho-analysis and neuroses, who has never sought any psychological help or diagnoses.
However, I am close to certain members of his family, and I am getting married and he will have to be there, along with these people, so there will be a need to fix this.
Would you have any advice or share similar experiences with other family members? This would really help. Thank you for reading all this.
TL;DR:
I'm 32M, adopted at 17 by my 69M adoptive father (AF) in a co-parenting agreement with my mother. While he appears well-liked, he has had strained relationships at home, especially with my late mother, my partner (40M), and our live-in helper (48F).
AF was a corporate trainer but has struggled with work. He has supported me emotionally and financially at times but has serious flaws:
- Avoids criticism – Dismisses feedback, has unhealthy eating habits, and gets defensive.
- Self-entitled – Failed to pay agreed rent, expected food, and neglected bills while living in our home.
- Exaggerates his parental role – Compares himself to full-time parents, despite my mother raising me alone.
- Gaslights and psychoanalyzes me – Diagnoses me with BPD, dismisses my concerns, and deflects blame.
- Struggles with boundaries – Consulted an astrologer about my adoption, later weaponized it against me.
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2025.01.31 03:21 Country_Cobain Raises for state workers?
Anyone know if state employees will be getting raises and/or retention bonuses this year?
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2025.01.31 03:21 Dear-Analyst-9205 AITBA for saying the Supreme Court is a disgrace?
AITA for saying the Supreme Court is a disgrace?
Alright, before I start, I just want to make things clear. I(15M) am not, nor will I ever be political. But I call things like I see it. So this situation with my friend (let’s call her Chrissie for confidentiality) happened last week. So you guys know how TikTok went dark for a couple hours? So me, my friend and her other friend are in a chat and I said The Supreme Court is a disgrace to this country and her other friend agreed with me. And then she proceeded to air me out. Now she didn’t air out her other friend and after me and the other friend talked I was originally going to apologize, I was. But after thinking about it, I said screw all that. Cause she came at me all loud. If she would’ve texted me off the side saying she didn’t like what I said, it would’ve been cool. After a week, I was able to have a conversation with her about it and she says I only say things off of emotion and that she sided with the other friend because she didn’t say it directly. Like it would’ve been a completely different story if she texted me on the side saying that she didn’t like what I said. We could’ve had a simple conversation. Now I will admit, I probably shouldn’t have said it like that. But I’m just being real. The government doesn’t give two craps about us. I don’t want to lose a friend over political bullcrap. I don’t. But I’m not going to lie to anyone.
So, AITBA?
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2025.01.31 03:21 zorro55555 Why sirens on westside?
Westside worst side. I’m stuck here with Warnelldawg
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2025.01.31 03:21 batmaniac77 Barcelona generating €17. 9 million in revenue
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2025.01.31 03:21 GerbilNinja27 The fastest growth I have ever seen on a carnivorous plant in a mere week (7 days exactly):
 | My Drosera adelae went through a harsh re-potting experience one week ago, and most of the leaves were covered in dirt after the effort was finished. It fell into a bowl of water, being submerged completely, and most of the soil covering the roots disappeared into the bowl. I expected the plant to go through shock or even die because of this. However, it has proved me wrong as it has shown the most growth I have seen out of every plant I own in only seven days! In the “before” pictures, you can see two very small emerging leaves near the base of the plant, while in the after pictures you can see the two leaves have already emerged in full force and size! They went from a quarter of an inch to two and a half inches that quickly… I can’t wait to see what this beautiful plant does next! submitted by GerbilNinja27 to SavageGarden [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 bot_neen La globalización no es nueva
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2025.01.31 03:21 Travelinman2023 Can someone help me date and ID this Meucci?
 | So far someone has said it’s from 80s How much is this worth? submitted by Travelinman2023 to billiards [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 WWfan41 Big Willie's finally about to make his comeback
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2025.01.31 03:21 TechTalko Rate my team for elite 4
 | First playthrough of Shining Pearl, I played original Pearl as a kid and this time I tried to use mostly Pokemon I haven't used before (except Torterra and Palkia). I'm probably a little weak to ice and flying, but I think it's pretty solid? submitted by TechTalko to PokemonBDSP [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 Remote-Energy1416 The Giant Crocodile of Port Blair
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2025.01.31 03:21 Acceptable-Goat2595 Bro can tomorrow hurry up? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Do you get it
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2025.01.31 03:21 Key_Act_2512 Cover suggestions
Hello, I’m looking for suggestions on how to improve my cover (I know it’s bad) This is what I’m working with https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0DV3T41H4
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2025.01.31 03:21 Conscious-Advance163 Better than most modern adult TV shows
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2025.01.31 03:21 Expensive_Text_5524 Siempre buscando enseñar el culito
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2025.01.31 03:21 NewJunket1639 gold antiques roman centurion chariot four horses coin
 | Is it real submitted by NewJunket1639 to coincollecting [link] [comments] |
2025.01.31 03:21 PlayfulVacation4411 how do I fight rama in Iron dragon data center ?
i got all 3 hacks but he hasn't shown up, what round is he supposed to arrive on ?
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