recontacting my ex - need advice!
2025.01.22 08:53 Full-Rutabaga9881 recontacting my ex - need advice!
Hey, I am coming here because I am really in need for some other perspectives and advice. I realise that on Reddit many people are against breaking no contact with one’s ex but I feel that I need to do this.
For context : My ex (22m) broke up with me (20f) in September after a 1.5 year long relationship. He left me due to the relationship having become really unhealthy, specifically from my toxic behaviours. I’m autistic and suspect I have BPD, as well as depression and anxiety. I had a lot of untreated and unresolved trauma which I wasn’t able to get help for at that time (finance, deep burnout…), which I ended up (unintentionally) lashing out onto my ex. This obviously had a deep effect on his mental health, he felt exhausted and like he needed to carry me and my issues, which isn’t his responsibility! The breakup was messy, I acted like a complete lunatic scream crying at him, and then (I feel regretful of this) still didn’t give him or our mutual friends any space by continuously asking to pass on messages to him. I finally beginning October gave him that space that he (and I believe we both) needed. I have been going every week to therapy with an amazing therapist who has helped me figure out my trauma and behaviours, I have been focusing 100% on my job and trying to find hobbies and joy in life again, without being fully codependent of someone. I obviously had my downs too, I started falling into some addictive substances to cope, but even with this I am getting help currently (12 step meetings, quit literally everything that gives me that negative dopamine rush). Although I still have massive amounts to work on, I feel I’ve gained a lot of perspective and maturity.
I however, although it has only been 4 months (ish?), really want to recontact him. Not necessarily to try again in a relationship, I just want to show to him, since I was the one who did massive amounts of damage in the relationship, that I genuinely do feel remorseful for how I acted during our relationship. I feel like I want some form of contact back, even if he turns out not to want to have me in his life whatsoever, that would be a better way of fully closing off our relationship than just me scream crying and acting like a fool.
I’ve drafted a message that I’d like to send to him : « Hey (his name), (my name) here How are you? I just wanted to message to ask how life is going for you since it has been a while. How’s uni been? I hope to hear back from you soon :) » I’m unsure on where to send this message to since he has blocked me on a lot of platforms and on the few places I think I can contact him there’s the message request filter which he doesn’t look at.
He’s one of those people who is able to emotionally detach (or make it seem like it) from things, and just after the breakup he was seeming to do this with me (immediately having a new crush, I put a small letter in the things I returned to him which he called pointless, was really cold to my mum when she dropped his things off), so I am preparing myself to a bit of a cold reaction or one where he just straight up tells me he doesn’t really want much to do with me (which will be hurtful but will be enough closure for me). He, like anyone in this situation, will probably be cautious that I am trying to manipulate him back into a relationship, which I am also prepared for. I am going to be going to therapy on the day I do this so that I can have coping strategies and be prepared for what could come of this.
What advice do you guys have? Is the message good? Would it be creepy to message his phone number or would it be better to message on (unblocked) social media? Anything is appreciated :)
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2025.01.22 08:53 Mhmud_Mohsn [For Hire] Please hire me as a VA.
Hello everyone, I need a remote job as a junior VA or data entry, I worked as a data entry before and customer service representative, I need a remote job now as mentioned, with salary up to 15$ -20$. Thanks in advance.
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Has anyone experienced this with their Gen 4? This only comes up every now and then and im also past my warranty already :/
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2025.01.22 08:53 Previous_Knowledge91 Indonesia close to deal to lift Apple iPhone 16 ban, Bloomberg News reports | Reuters
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2025.01.22 08:53 Single_Draft898 How to travel from Pasig City to Catbalogan City?
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2025.01.22 08:53 OsirisAI Stock Information for ETHUSD - 3h
#ETHUSD #3h #Crypto───────────
Ensemble model * Overview: The synthetic investment attractiveness indicator equals 27 (out of +/-100). The model ensemble suggests that trading will tend to be attractive in the nearest future. The synthetic directional indicator equals -17 (out of +/-100). The model ensemble suggests the market will tend to be bearish in the nearest future.
Optimal past * Optimal past: The optimal lookback period for modelling is currently 23 candles. The market is currently bullish, appreciating by 2.0% during the latest phase.
Elliot Waves * Elliot Waves: The market's trend has changed and currently goes down.
- Elliot Waves Settings: Elliot Waves were updated. The current wavelength is 55.
- BRW VaR at confidence level 95.0%: in the next candle, the price will fluctuate around 3274.43 and with 95.0% probability will not go below 3207.21 or above 3333.01.
- Historical simulation at confidence level 95.0%: in the next candle, the price will fluctuate around 3274.41 and with 95.0% probability will not go below 3207.91 or above 3333.6.
- Multifractal range at confidence level 95.0%: in the next 256 candles, the price will fluctuate around 3273.59 and with 95.0% probability will not go below 2227.61 or above 4324.5.
- Fibonacci with seven retracements: the price is likely to rebound downward from the nearest Fibonacci resistance of 3352.36 at the level of 38.2%. The nearest Fibonacci support is 3175.1 at the level of 23.6%.
- Fibonacci with five retracements: the price is likely to rebound downward from the nearest Fibonacci resistance of 3352.36 at the level of 38.2%. The nearest Fibonacci support is 2888.29 at the level of 0.0%.
- Fibonacci with four retracements: the price is likely to rebound downward from the nearest Fibonacci resistance of 3352.36 at the level of 38.2%. The nearest Fibonacci support is 2888.29 at the level of 0.0%.
- MVaR bounds at confidence level 95.0%: in the next candle, the price will fluctuate around 3273.48 and with 95.0% probability will not go below 3207.24 or above 3340.05.
- AR model at confidence level 95.0%: the AR model forecasts a return of 0.0542% in the next candle, the price will fluctuate around 3275.68 and with 95.0% probability will not go below 3206.92 or above 3344.76.
- Power law: According to the indicator, the stability of the market is uncertain
- Student degrees of freedom: According to the indicator, the stability of the market is uncertain
- Tukey lambda: According to the indicator, the stability of the market is uncertain
Distribution analysis * Best-fit distribution: Best-fit distribution has changed, and now it is Laplace
───────────
Not investment advice.
#ETHUSD #3h #trading #Distribution analysis
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2025.01.22 08:53 Murky-Deer-7525 «Ελκώδης Κολίτιδα: Τα Καλύτερα Βότανα για Φυσική Ανακούφιση»
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2025.01.22 08:53 NoviNoviNoviNov cutegore/webcore/weirdcore idk...,
an edgy and unhinged ENG/TH server.
vocaloid, resident evil, projectmoon, meat, and more.,.
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https://www.discord.gg/dokiwaku
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A painful past which leads so much problem to a girl named nandini, she was humiliated, beaten, accused, tortured sexually and mentally yet she never complained and always smiled being so positive. Her husband did every sinful offense with her saying i love you to her. Peep in to know more about this story. Clearly telling you that it's for 18+ people. It is mature. Read more
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2025.01.22 08:53 wewdwtnizrub Oneida Promo Code January 2025
Catch the Oneida Promo Code January 2025
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2025.01.22 08:53 sharonchong Help me understand the concept of "delay"
Hello scholars, readers, and veterans of meaning gymnastics, I need some help to really understand the concept of "delay" in the meaning-making process as articulated by Derrida.
A bit of context... I'm writing a paper on reading colonial archival photographs. and i'm trying to see how a "delay" in meaning making can help us read them more productively as opposed to just repeating the already made criticism of imperialist symbolic violence.
Thank you for your time and attention.
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And what is her relation to the astron Rex? Sorry for not knowing anything about this. I finally got the astron but didn’t know anything about the character
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2025.01.22 08:53 Scary-Yogurtcloset63 The solution to the trolley problem
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNeE6HqQw/
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2025.01.22 08:53 TouchOdd2780 It's easy to fake this, but it's kinda spooky
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2025.01.22 08:53 _The4thDoctor_ 3D World Studio 6 is LIVE NOW!!! Spread the Word...
The Web-page and Sign-up sheet is below. If we can get at least 200 people interested and signed up.. Joshua Klint will make this happen for us all! This will be the perfect third-party tool to work along side your favorite game engine or for your game mods. You will be able to make those buildings and rooms that you always wanted. Check it out HERE!
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2025.01.22 08:53 sup-erko Streetpunk Riot Fest in Bratislava with Templars, Chisel, The Young Ones and more
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2025.01.22 08:53 ajju20042004 Understanding Copyright Law: A Deep Dive into Its Complexities
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2025.01.22 08:53 Alle_im_Wunderland Was ist der Unterschied zwischen euch und r/gekte?
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2025.01.22 08:53 neurotoxin_69 Struggling with an incredibly rageful alter
So, a year plus some change ago, I'd gotten into a dissagreement of sorts with a user. I'd made a post about borderline personality disorder in a subreddit about personality disorders that resulted in them fakeclaiming the system. The next day, I'd made a seperate post in that same sub that they found and they proceeded to insult me, fakeclaim me again, and misrepresent the situation. This resulted in us both being banned.
At the time, I was absolutely pissed and went to check out their account to see whether or not they were a troll. This was when I learned that they had narcissistic personality disorder and were also receiving chemotherapy. I figured that their behavior was due to the physical and emotional toll of having severe cancer, side effects of chemotherapy, and something I potentially did that may have triggered their mental illness and dropped it. I was still mad, but I wouldn't hold it against them. As time passed, I stopped caring.
An alter, on the other hand, did not and it still affects them over a year later as if it happened yesterday. I don't even remember what it was but, about 3 hours ago, something had made me think about the situation and they've been fuming since. The only coherent things she's "said" (in quotes because she isn't actually speaking audibly) have been death wishes and threats, derogatory terms, slurs, and violent mental imagery.
My heart hasn't stopped pounding, I'm nauseous, my arthritic joints hurt, I feel what I'm assuming to be vertigo, it feels like there's something squirming beneath my skin, I can feel the vein on my forehead and side of my eye pulsing, but the anger isn't mine. I know it isn't because I'm heavily against death threats/wishes. I'm against the other three things as well, but especially the death wishes/threats.
I don't really know what to do. I honestly find it deeply disturbing and just not something I like to have on my conscience. I've let time pass, I've acknowledged my anger and emphasized with the user and moved on, I've acknowledged this alter's anger and tried letting her front to do whatever it is she feel needs to be done but the only thing she's done is self-harm for temporary relief and check the users profile to see if they're still alive. I've tried journaling, I've tried distractions. Hell, I just completed a 400 piece jigsaw puzzle like an hour ago and the whole time my body was tensed up and this alter had been repeating "I want that bitch dead". I'm at a loss.
She's calmed down significantly and, at this moment, Simply Plural says she's been fronting for 4 hours. Which is what usually happens when this topic comes up. I'm reminded of something, she loses her shit for a while, and I just have to wait it out. I don't want to wait it out though. My skin still feels all tingly and my head hurts because I waited it out. There's got to be something else right?
I am planning on going inpatient at a psych hospital (for a seperate reason) so maybe I'll get some help on this there. But, for now, I'm stuck.
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