[QCrit] Adult Fantasy/Mystery - SHADOWTOUCHED (67k, 2nd attempt + 300 words)
2024.11.26 23:29 avalc0 [QCrit] Adult Fantasy/Mystery - SHADOWTOUCHED (67k, 2nd attempt + 300 words)
The Chauvellane twins lose everything the night of the fire. Attending a boarding school for mages, they watch helplessly from across the inlet as the Imperial Palace is incinerated, leaving neither evidence nor survivors. But there is no time to grieve: the arsonist is looking to finish the job, and the only surviving members of the ruling family are the obvious next target.
Neo AuClair is Gifted. Born with the marks of magic on his iris, he can see innately into the formula. He, too, loses everything to the flames that, by all rights, must have been magical. He finds no traces of formula alterations in the ruins, but in that strange absence sees something stranger still.
Louise Chauvellane inherits the one item that survived the fire: her mother’s memory-holding amulet. There should be hundreds of recordings, but Louise finds only a handful, none of which pertain to the fire. Why, she wonders, would a mage as brilliant as her mother let her own murder go undocumented?
Lucien is as charismatic as his sister is brilliant, but even he can’t talk his way out of an assassination. When they fall victim to a poison all but wiped from history, Louise doesn’t question the alchemist who saves their lives. But to Lucien, saving them doesn’t mean he didn’t poison them–and it doesn’t mean he won't do so again.
In the three days following the fire, the young mages, separated and on the run, race to find the killer. Neo, chasing shadows only he can see, uncovers long-hidden secrets about magic and Chauvellior. Louise, in considering everything she has discovered, deduces that the culprit is closer than anyone thinks, and at the same time Lucien, across the city, stumbles upon a key witness. But while the secrets they uncover may lead to the culprit, revealing them could shatter what little remains of Chauvellior.
SHADOWTOUCHED is a stand-alone fantasy-mystery complete at 67,000 words with series potential. It appeals to fans of [comps pending].
Notes:
After reviewing the feedback from my first query, I have decided that I may have misclassified my book as a murder mystery when it is more of a mystery-thriller with fantasy and political intrigue elements. I'm not exactly sure what the name for such a genre would be, and am very much open to suggestions for the classification.
I am aware that this query runs a bit over 300 words, and would like feedback on what parts might be extraneous.
First ~300 words:
[prologue]
The first spark appeared just after midnight, and the ensuing fire quickly ignited the night sky, erasing the stars. Gentle winds blew the stench of seared wood and scorched bodies across the inlet, where, all along the inner cliffs of Chauvellior City, pale lights were emerging as the ever-growing crowds watched the seat of their empire crumble.
In a sea of blue tunics donned hastily by frightened teenagers, Louise and Lucien stood at the very front, uncaring that one step would begin a 300-meter plummet to an icy death. They were, after all, already frozen—frozen in horror as their lives spiraled into the smoke and ash now blotting out the sky, unable to do a thing as their father and mother and brothers burned to a crisp, as their books and journals and childhood toys ignited and withered into dust, as their home crumbled, and as their empire went up in flames.
And it was their empire now, for Louise and Lucien were the sole surviving members of the Chauvellane family.
[chapter 1: Lucien]
The vase hit the wall and shattered, its fragments joining the growing pile of debris ringing the room.
Lucien stalked to the eastern wall and grabbed another—white porcelain rather than stained glass, this time, and filled with a bouquet of tiny sky-blue flowers. The water sloshed as he grabbed the neck, and it splashed back onto his face when he slammed the vase into the wall. There was a pinprick of pain, barely registered, a larger fragment having slit his palm.
Drowning flowers and porcelain shards sat in a puddle on the bureau, and Lucien watched as blood from his hand splattered off the white ceramic to dye the flowers purple and the water pink.
With the room now silent, Lucien could hear a commotion in the hallway—two voices, male and female, and their rapidly approaching footsteps.
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2024.11.26 23:29 Available-Drink-5232 My keyboard broke the other day so here's my setup
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2024.11.26 23:29 Super-Fold-7213 new foundation website
https://shermanlegacyfoundation.com/our-story/
"Tragically, on December 13, 2017, Honey and Barry were murdered in their home. This horrific crime remains unsolved.
In 2020, Honey and Barry’s daughter, Alex Krawczyk, established the Foundation to honour the legacy and memory of her parents. Alex has worked as a registered nurse for over 10 years in community health, is studying public health, and writes music as a way to process her loss, grief and trauma.
Anyone with information that may lead to justice in the murders of Honey and Barry Sherman is encouraged to contact the Toronto Police at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) or anonymously through Crime Stoppers (416)222-8477 (TIPS) or 1-800-222-8477.
We believe that justice is still possible and hope that this horrific crime will be solved."
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2024.11.26 23:29 Flashmemory256 Songs that feel way bigger than their chart position?
Okay so Shaboozey is now tied with Lil Nas X at 19 weeks at #1 on the hot 100, but the song really doesn't feel THAT big, absolutely not on the level of Old Town Road back in 2019. However some pop songs didn't chart particularly well on the hot 100 but are very well remembered and popular today. My biggest example is Bon Jovi and their comeback 2000 hit "It's My Life" which only hit #33 on the hot 100, but is used in over a million videos on tiktok and the music video has well over a billion views on YouTube and almost a billion Spotify Streams. Also fun fact, No Doubt also had a song called "its my life" which went to #10 on the hot 100 in 2004 but is nowhere near as big as the Bon Jovi song.
So anyways, what other pop songs charted marginally on the hot 100 but are way bigger than their chart position today?
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Wondering what is the recommended 'best practice' for high quality trailer wiring for a trailer?
I know one option is to ground every light locally nearby. Another option is to run all of the ground wires to a common ground. Pros and cons of each?
I can see the following for common ground:
- Cons: More expensive, seeing as you need to run all the ground wires the distance of the trailer
- Pro: single ground means you're not chasing grounding issues across 5-10 different grounds?
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2024.11.26 23:29 wandering_mp Please help suggest a laptop for this solo women in her mid 30"s!
Essentially I need a new laptop (I haven't owned a personal one for a decade now)
Main tasks: internet browsing/writing/some basic photo editing/watching movies/playing music
I may start some courses around coding due to work shifts and the need to upskill.
My budget is around $1000 - $1300 AUD which is around $650 - $850 USD.
I'm looking at either potentially the Surface Pro or Surface Laptop (I would need to strech my budget for that) or the current black friday deal on the Lenovo Yoga 7 2 in 1 - which I'm most keen on.
I don't have a tablet so having a 2 in 1 seems fun and practical maybe in my case.
Please let me know if I should consider other contenders and what to look out for as I'm so new to the market!
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2024.11.26 23:29 BattleCatManic Posting The Noise until I run out of The Noise day 176
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2024.11.26 23:29 Excellent-Message596 Who keeps deleting and then coming back? Let’s jerk and chat. 052d02f359ac514362e3a4bc82c039d75f96730aa651643af0501ce23286ea9d40
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2024.11.26 23:29 OUAKRIM444 DARK HUMOR, it's like food, not everyone gets it
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2024.11.26 23:29 InternationalLog8532 Is this good or need change
I AM NEW TO pc building and want to know if this is good or will work I would like to keep the Video card and cooler as I have already bought them everything else can be switched just need any tips or suggestions on it
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