Should I go back to my toxic bestfriend because I promised her to always stand by her side?
2024.11.26 08:30 PrestigiousCounty681 Should I go back to my toxic bestfriend because I promised her to always stand by her side?
I (23M) had a friend (23F), and recently, we ended our friendship. It was my decision to break it off as things had become chaotic, and we were fighting almost every other day.
To start from the beginning, I met her during my third year of college. She reached out to me, as I’m naturally shy and introverted and rarely initiate conversations. For the most part, I would just attend my lectures from the last bench and leave college as soon as the lecture ended. I never intended to make friends or connect socially due to my horrible past experiences.
A few months later, she noticed me and, out of curiosity, approached me. She seemed like a genuinely kind and warm person, and we connected immediately. We started talking a lot—mostly her talking random stuff while I listened, as I rarely had anything interesting to add.
As we got to know each other better, I realized she was an empath and gets emotionally attached to people very quickly. Knowing myself, I didn’t want her to get attached to me because I struggle with expressing emotions and wouldn’t be able to reciprocate her feelings and match her emotional intensity. I was upfront about this early in our friendship. I also told her about my forgetful and unbothered nature—not avoidant, just indifferent to many things—while she remembered everything in great detail. I thought this contrast might cause issues, but she assured me that it won’t be a problem.
Despite the boundaries I tried to set, she became deeply emotionally attached to me, to the point where it felt like walking on eggshells. My every action was scrutinized. She grew so possessive that she didn’t want me to help or befriend others. At first, I believed this was limited to a few people, but I realized it was more extensive.
We started having frequent disagreements because of her overthinking and perceiving problems that didn’t exist. Having grown up in a toxic environment, I found her behavior unsettling but with time I have grown numb so much to the point that I just couldn’t put a period to this, It was a part of my life. I kept apologizing and explaining myself, even for things that hadn’t happened, just to keep the peace. Yet, it was never enough, and the cycle would repeat every few days.
Over time, her frustrations escalated. She started calling me names, wishing harm upon me and the people I associated with, and accusing me of lying and manipulating her.
We shared some good times, but the majority of our friendship was marred by fights, with me apologizing for things I hadn’t done. During the last semester, she was mostly away for internships, but when we met, she would taunt me for being "too nice" to certain people. Her words stung, but by then, I had grown accustomed to her behavior.
At our batch party, things initially seemed normal after a week of heated arguments. We had cleared the air, or so I thought. We joined the party together but later mingled with different groups. After clicking pictures and partying, I sat down with a friend (My best friend basically hates the two of us together), she was upset about something which had happened in the past and since I was a part of that- the conversation grows deep and she got sentimental which drew other people's attention towards her. My best friend, who was taking pictures nearby, noticed us. Later, she sat behind us but appeared fine, so I continued.
A few days later, I received a link to the batch party photos. While scrolling through them, I came across a nice picture of me and the friend I had comforted, so I shared it with her. I thought nothing of it and turned off my phone. Two days later, my best friend messaged me to come online. She sent me the same picture, now set as the friend's display picture, and started accusing me of prioritizing others over her.
I brushed it off, as I was busy taking care of my mom’s health, but ten days later, she confronted me again, accusing me of disloyalty, narcissism, and being insensitive. She even wished death upon me said terrible stuff which goes beyond any limits. I tried explaining what had happened at the party, but her perspective was completely different. She said I had abandoned her while she was having flashbacks and that I had catered to someone else's instead.
Her accusations became increasingly irrational. She linked everything to her insecurities about intelligence and looks, claiming that no one chose her because she wasn’t good-looking or smart enough. I empathized with her childhood trauma and body image issues but found her generalizations unfair.
For the next two months, we fought every day, sometimes for even beyond 10s of hours. I tried to save the friendship because she was important to me, but it drained me emotionally. I had never harmed her intentionally, yet she believed I had betrayed her.
During this time, I had important exams approaching, and her constant anger took a toll on me. One day, she accused me of sharing trivial information about her coaching classes. Although I didn’t remember doing so, I admitted it might have been possible. She lashed out, calling me a "rat" and accusing me of betrayal.
That was the last straw. I stopped responding to her texts and calls and focused on my exams. She began posting cryptic social media stories, portraying herself as a victim and blaming me. I tried reaching out after my exams, but her cold responses and accusations made it clear she still resented me.
Looking back, I see how much I sacrificed to save this friendship, often at the expense of my own well-being. Her insecurities and constant accusations overshadowed the positive moments we shared. I never wanted to lose her, but the friendship became too painful to endure.
She genuinely hates me and believes I’m disloyal, ungrateful, and undeserving of good things, largely because she was the one who initiated our friendship undermining all the efforts that I put up every day in hopes to not lose her. While I made other friends during her absence, and me sitting with that friend during her low time, she perceived it as me choosing others over her—mainly due to looks or their supposed attempts to "take me away." Despite her claiming I was inconsiderate, she simultaneously believed I was obligated to tolerate her behavior because she had "put in so much effort" to build our bond. She would call it my convenience when I choose to avoid the conversation or when I don't have the capacity to fight with her and cannot keep explaining things.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I had lost my individuality and become a people pleaser. I used to be a straightforward person, but I turned into someone constantly validating her behavior just to avoid being accused of invalidating her feelings. Ironically, it was always me who was left unheard, and now I’m the one perceived as emotionless simply because I chose to end the friendship.
Now that it’s over, I sometimes miss her. But the moment I open our chats, the memories of what she said and how she made me feel remind me why I had to walk away. It leaves me feeling like I was a bad person, even though I know I did my best to make it work. I am really confused.
Am I trauma-bonded to her? Was I wrong to walk away? I don’t want to carry this guilt anymore. Please help me understand how to navigate this. Should I move on in my life and forget everything?
TIA.
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2024.11.26 08:30 rusakovic 📩 Gameplay Engineer - User Generated Content (Senior / Staff / Principal) Salary: 💰$165K - $240K. 📍Remote job in 🇺🇸 United States
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2024.11.26 08:30 Top-Usual-2073 Looking for a barracks lawyer
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2024.11.26 08:30 Strong-Repeat-7217 Writing a Higurashi and Pokémon fanfic. There's self insert of me and my friend but it ain't one of those cringe self inserts.
Basically if Pokémon get infected with Hinamizawa syndrome and they start killing people. Wanna know if first chapter is good. There's only one chapter so far https://archiveofourown.org/works/60845905
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2024.11.26 08:30 darknessbedrock capturing her best angles
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2024.11.26 08:30 No_Friendship_8137 20 CM TURKİSH BULL, send me your gf or ex. SNAP: alperatakan13
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2024.11.26 08:30 oldsoulgames Adding a Category when it's not necessary
So, I have a gaming channel and mostly, I review games and add their name in the gaming Category title section.
My latest video is not a review, but a video analysis about a whole phenomenon in videogames. I talk about different games in it, but the biggest chunk of it is about one game (Dark Souls)
Do you think I should put Dark Souls name in the game category, or I shouldn't write anything at all? Is it even wise to leave the category title section empty?
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Hi everybody, I've been botting for about 6 months now and had a bit of a nightmare with today's big release.
When getting sessions this morning for the TS Nikes, I found about half of my Gmails had been blocked. I've been farming them for a few months on AYCD and they all had good trust ratings until today.
I was only planning on running 50 accounts today and 26 were blocked. My question is, should I only be farming my catchall emails and not the rest of them? I only use a couple of really old catchall email addresses for the 50 accounts I used today.
I know losing accounts is part of the game but I would just like to understand a little better so this doesn't happen again.
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2024.11.26 08:30 86_anon Is kaspersky safe according to reddit this 2024?
I've been reading a lot about protection software lately, and Kaspersky keeps coming up. But I'm curious: with all the news and different points of view, do you really think Kaspersky is safe to use? Something safe to keep my tech safe, but I want to be sure I get the right thing. Anyone here used Kaspersky and wants to talk about it or share their thoughts on how safe it is?
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2024.11.26 08:30 Offres Stylish Purses Mahjong
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2024.11.26 08:30 Senior_Bluebird_1137 Anyone in Melbourne, Australia that has a banjo I want to learn but it’s like really really expensive for one here so if anyone would love to sell it for 80 to 100 I’m here
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2024.11.26 08:30 Offres Stylish Purses Mahjong
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2024.11.26 08:30 Afraid_Emotion_222 blackout drunk sex - what can i do
i had sex with someone when blackout drunk, i remember maybe 5 seconds of the entire time in bed now. i don’t really think i can do anything about this, but i want to know if i can tell his job about this and if they would care/fire him. he works as a cook in a very well known 3 michelin star restaurant.
more info, he is 21 and i am 19, so not even legally allowed to drink. he drank only ~2 beers from what i saw, but i could be wrong as i was already very drunk at that point. he says he was “drunker than he thought” by the time we got to the hotel. he brought me to his hotel room, i do not remember getting there at all, he said i couldn’t walk and he had to hold me up. then he sat in the room while i threw up in the bathroom, which he knew i was doing. after that i do not remember. he claims i was the one asking for sex, and that everything we did was my idea and i wanted it. which i believe is true but i have no memory of it and did things i specifically did not ever want to do sober.
i hope this does not count as a “revenge” post, i’m just looking for advice on anything i can do because i’m pretty sure there isn’t.
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2024.11.26 08:30 Iri5hgpd He's finished
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2024.11.26 08:30 Cautious_Potato3557 Podrian ayudarme con mi armado de pc?
Hola buenas, queria ver si alguien podia ayudarme a saber si masomenos el armado que tengo pensado es el optimo.
CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 7600
Mother: Mother Asrock B650M PRO RS AM5 DDR5
GPU: ASUS Dual GeForce RTX 4060 8GB GDDR6 OC V2
RAM: 2x Memoria Patriot DDR5 16GB 6000MHz Viper Black CL30
SSD: Patriot 1tb P400 7000MB/s Pcie Gen4 x4
Fuente: Fuente Cooler Master 750W 80 Plus Gold Full Modular GX3 ATX 3.0 12VHPW
Gabinete: Antec CX200M ELITE White RGB 5x120mm RGB Fans
La verdad no tengo demasiada idea de pcs, pero masomenos llegue a ese armado.
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2024.11.26 08:30 Offres Stylish Purses Mahjong
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2024.11.26 08:30 PotatoGuy1238 The google doodle doesn’t take you to en passant, is Google fucking welcome here?
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I recently bought something using this feature, but I have decided that the product I bought was not worth the money I paid for it. I am going to return it. However, since I didn't pay for it directly from my checking account, will I be refunded the money I already spent back onto the temporary digital card that was made for this purchase? And will the next 3 scheduled payments be cancelled? Someone tell me please.
submitted by Musical_J to sofi [link] [comments]
2024.11.26 08:30 Agitated-External-92 jrkmbuds sevr in pro file
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2024.11.26 08:30 Concept_New A Boomer got me fired
Hi, So like the title says. We are a small team of around 10 people. But only 4 devs. One of the devs is a 60 year old boomer. Im 29 years old and the other two people on the team are around my age. Every time there us work the three of us site down and work for hours. The boomer either doesnt attend (doesn't want to, has to go home, always something else outside of work and says he's "busy") or if he does grace us with his presence he looks bored on camera and has no idea what we do. If he turns his camera on that is. Yesterday we had a quaterly overview type of meeting. And while discussing topics he came after me. You should know this, if you dont why do we keep you. Mind you I have 10 years of experience in the job and know my job very well. Have worked since I was a teen. Have led projects and worked in many companies. This person doesn't even know how to type on a conputer. But he is from the first 10 employees in the company and has stayed here for more than 20-30 years. The PM listed to him and fired me on the spot. Reason I dont know my own project/job.
Everyone else looked shocked and embaressed for them. Im still in shock. I still have 2 weeks to work that they give me as a notice period. For a project I have "no qualifications". But what should I do, be quiet or write an email to the ceo and tell them about the boomers laziness.
Im frankly pissed off.
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2024.11.26 08:30 Educational-Cut4412 is mittens a flonker?
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2024.11.26 08:30 Dont-ask_me_yaweirdo What is this?
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2024.11.26 08:30 queyoueyee [No spoilers] I met reed.
![[No spoilers] I met reed.](https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/04HE8mtLj_rvhrQqKqdga7ePZ-fpwKgcdVrZH2WycrQ.jpg "[No spoilers] I met reed.") | submitted by queyoueyee to arcane [link] [comments] |